Medication Without Consent

It's disappointing to be lied to. But when doctors lie, and abuse your trust, it's more than disappointing. It should be cause for losing a license.

I have written about "radiation", after knowing I experience actual symptoms and pain and yet don't have an explanation. I know it's not "in my head" because I've always been right about physical problems. I'm also usually right about motives and how politics influence decision-making. As for actual radiation, that IS going on, because it's the only way the battery-operated toy going off can occur, according to a computer tech, and the only way my computers could be hacked the way they were hacked (without going online first). As for my health, I assumed that since the computer stuff was explained by radiation, maybe the weird health problems were caused by that too.

I have very severe pain and because it's been so bad, save one week in the last 4 months, and because of very odd sensations that came with whatever crap I was on instead, I was trying to find out what was wrong. Tonight, I feel weak and I'm in a lot of pain. I am not on "narcotics" as they've told me. Because it seemed so incredible to believe otherwise, and because a doctor actually insulted my state of mind, telling me I didn't have "normal" thinking for wondering if I was on something besides narcotics, I searched for another explanation. The only thing that came up, which matched all my symptoms, was radiation. It's weird, but that's what adds up.

The "shock" or stun effect which seemed to be radiation, is, I suppose, now that I know I've been on some kind of big secret "detox" plan (as if I needed it) was from whatever this other crap is, when it wears off. This week, I received a prescription for 56 tablets. Of "Percocet". I took half of one and knew immediately it wasn't narcotic. Number one, it didn't go to my pain. It went straight to my head. I still had pain, and yet became too dizzy and weak. So I took minimal amounts. I took a total of maybe 7 pills to date. Or less. As a result, not being totally sure of what I was on or how long, I experienced strange effects. When it wore off, it was an instant notice, because I felt the pain shock/passing out/dizziness/and nausea. If I didn't take it, I felt like passing out and if I DID take it, my pain only got worse and didn't improve, but I didn't feel like passing out and experience the weird side effects. This crap, whatever it is, is physically addictive. My body doesn't function without it and it's crap. It doesn't help the pain at all and yet if I try going off, at this point, it hurts me.

I chose to trust my doctors and everyone who was LYING to me, and accepted it must be some kind of electrical field out here, rather than dare doubt those who "loved" me, or were "professionals". Neither love or professionalism has entered into the equation here. I have suffered, and I still suffer, and all because of selfish motives and politics, to stop me and cover themselves for their gross assumptions. On the other end of the spectrum, there are some who weren't happy with me the way I was, even if I liked myself, and they allowed others to manipulate and pressure them. It IS a kind of "Operation Knockout". I thank those who held up under the pressure and stood up for me and my expressed wishes, even if these were not met.

In the process, I lost my ability to think clearly, or remember things, and when I went to the ER for help because of my pain yesterday and the weird side effects (I guess not taking this shit finally caught up to me yesterday and punished me) I was blown off. Given MORE "potassium". Then I come back, uncured, and blown off again. I took my son in, concerned for him, at a officer's behest. Then, that night, not knowing or being informed of what I was on and the dangers of going through sudden withdrawal, I became very ill. My blood pressure of 95/70 went up to 145/90 or more. It almost doubled and I FELT severe pain. The docs, giddy that I was writing about "radiation", and being motivated to get rid of me for some time, since I told them they were getting sued almost in the beginning, when they called me drug-seeking and a number of other things and refused to treat me, upped the ante. They called people to try to have me locked up in a mental institution. After THEY have practically driven me to craziness, and lied to me on so many occasions I can't keep the truth straight anymore. When that didn't work, my "sanity" holding up under the litmus test, they called for a second opinion, eager to have it their way. They still didn't get anywhere with it. So they called CPS and asked them to take my son from me that very night. This hospital staff has done this kind of thing from the start, before they even knew me, and because of their arrogance and assumptions, caused all kinds of damages. To protect themselves, they wanted to make me look bad and give me grief.

In the last month, the staff there has been kissing my ass. All the sour faces and spiteful words, and mocking laughter, is replaced with "Ma'am may I help you with your coat?" I'm sure I'll find out why soon enough.

Nothing has changed with the standard of care in the town. I have very severe pain and an X-ray which shows lytic changes in my lower half. My "doctor" did a CT scan, which will bring up detail for sclerosis, but refused numerous times, to do an MRI, which is the only way to examine lytic changes.

I was told, after the doctor came into the ER, that my pain was in my head. "Somatic" he said. I tried to explain to him that I had some evidence there WAS a problem, based on my X-ray, and reminded him that they were wrong before--when the entire town's clinics were refusing to do an X-ray of my tailbone, which I told them had to be broken, I went to Seattle and proved I was right. I had a broken tailbone, just as I suspected and THEY chose to doubt. They didn't listen to me. When I was in Oregon, I had a major knee injury after a car crash and the guy said I must have pulled a muscle. I told him it was "inside" my knee and was not muscle strain. That doctor attempted to show me "squats", which were the worst possible thing for my knee. 7 months later I was having the surgery I should have had immediatly, when I complained of true giving way and extreme pain. By that time, the quarter-sized piece of my femur which had broken off was dead and they had to excise it, and do pinning, bone grafting, AND my kneecap was severely blistered. Leaving a blistered patella that long results in early-onset osteoarthritis, which I have. I feel it. My knee is not the same.

I have always been right about my pain, and my own assessments of my body and what is wrong. But these idiots don't care. They want to be right, and a few have had self-serving motivations to be right, in the face of the truth. When I first showed up to this town, I was immediately called "drug seeking" because I needed help with migraines, inbetween insurance (my college insurance was in another state). They even wrote in the charts that I did NOT have migraines and gave me everything except what I NEEDED to function properly. I had tried everything, and my pain is so severe, the only thing that worked was narcotic abortion. These doctors in Wenatchee wrote my migraines up as "tension headache" and sometimes sent me away with nothing, other times with massive Toradol (which didn't work), or told me to "take Tylenol".

It is one very good thing that this hospital, Central Washington Hospital, lost their privilege to operate as a major trauma center as regards neurological care. In my opinion, it is a dangerous place to entrust your health or the health of those you love. After coming to terms with some of the constant exaggeration and hysteria that is this town, good and bad developments have come of it.

1. I sympathize, and my heart goes out to, anyone and everyone who has chronic or even acute pain and is made to suffer because of prejudice and ignorance,
2. I no longer trust anyone in the medical profession, at all,
3. I no longer wish to be a part of this country.

The country bit may sound extreme, but while America prides itself on being the most just and merciful, and "freedom-loving", this treatment and these privileges are only available to those who tow the line or have power or money. Freedom is being able to express ones thoughts and opinions, and tell one's story, whether true to a T or sometimes tongue-in-cheek, without fear of being hauled off to a mental ward, sued, or harassed. Justice is when society attempts to treat everyone with the same standard. Mercy comes with practice.