Cliff House Date

I am making a lot of friends and most of them are men. Some women though, too, as I'm the type to invite others over and be friendly. One woman is here from Zambia--a nurse, and I another woman is here from Las Vegas, a former small business owner who is quite independent. I run into cattiness often, but I have no personal problems with anyone here so I try to be friendly with everyone. The men, though, well...I just like men. Men are so much more relaxed and direct. It's a little difficult to find that balance of being buddies and letting them buy you a drink or dinner without implying anything more. I'm very direct and honest about my intentions but still have to be careful. I am feeling so at-home and welcome, I just wonder what I can do in return! I always think, "Hmm. Maybe I could wash his dishes or something." I guess I'm a good listener, so maybe that's enough.

I went on a date last night to The Cliff House in Bellingham, which has to have the best view in town. That's the type of place I like to go to--casual but with a breathtaking view. The food was great and I had Halibut, which was fresh, and we had a bottle of Chardonnay that I liked. I should have paid attention to the label but I didn't even look. My date said it was far better than the bottle from our last date, and he gave me the word I was looking for to describe the difference: buttery. I said, "What does buttery imply?" I really know absolutely nothing about wines. I like a good pinot noir for red, and I don't know about whites that much other than the one we had last night was excellent. My date didn't sniff the cork because it wasn't a real cork. I, of course, perked up at the mention. "Sniff?" Of course I wasn't going to ask him if it was customary to sniff swords too, and if so, why... I don't know why the man is always offered the first taste of wine either. Men defer to me, but why doesn't the waiter just defer to the woman as well?

I talked to my date well into the night but got sleepy and then he drove me home. Not before I had tried a dirty martini. I didn't like it. The vodka was a better brand, but while I like bloody mary's and Caesars, and olives on their own, no thanks to the dirty martini. Next time, I'm trying a chocolate martini with Godiva liquour.

We talked about writing. He said the only people who should be writers are those who can't help themselves. I made a mental "check". I asked if it's really that way--sort of obsessive-compulsive for writers and he said yes. He should know, because he's an independent film screenwriters and knows other fellow writers. He recommended getting into a really good writing school and working on short stories and said often the better professors will act as an agent. He also gave me tips of the trade on screenplay presentation. He said he could tell I was a writer. I asked how, and he said, "Your emails are long" and then he said he also really enjoyed my writing style and humor. He also asked me how much time it takes me to write. Which seems to be a question on everyone's mind these days (ha!).

It doesn't take long. I just write, and what whatever is off the top of my head, and I type fast. I don't edit, usually, or censor myself, but sometimes I go back and tweak things. I am most interested in getting out raw material, from the moment. The less I deliberate, at times, the better. Not that I couldn't use some discipline, but my first attempt has been to liberate the consciousness and even subconscious. So it doesn't take me long at all. I write as quickly as I would speak, and then click, and that's it.

I told him about my perjury and how I lied under oath, telling the court dramatically that I was a whore, which had him laughing to no end. He said that because I confessed so quickly, there should be no penalty because it was within 24 hours. I told him I was literally under the influence and he said it wouldn't matter, even though I was because of injuries and pain...He also said there was no way I was mentally ill (although I know I have a little PTSD and that's it--mainly avoidance issues). He also cracked up when I told him about overhearing someone call me a horrible name and how I covered it up, pretending I hadn't heard a thing, and playing the part of a dummie with her eyes shut (literally). I can't write about it right now.

I will be hosting a few get togethers soon. I talked to my roommate about. I'm getting a few atheists together for the meeting of minds, for my roommate, and then have been thinking of planning a few other light parties. Drinks and appetizers more than anything. I'm not in a place to hostess sit-down dinner for 8.

This is a really boring post. Isn't it?!!!!!

Oh, I guess I'll add, I clean up nicely. I have been wearing absolutely hideous garb and clothes really make a huge impact with men. Some may be able to see the fixer-upper in me, in dated jeans and old tops, but most can't. It's like looking at a peacock who has lost all it's feathers and then was thrown into the dryer on tumble. Do you want to be seen with THAT?

So I haven't been wearing any clothes I like at all but I got a new pair of calvin klein jeans (darker wash) with full legs, and a DNKY cotton top with a bamboo-tropical 60s motif, wide loose arms, deep v-neck, and in dark forest green, mustard, orange, and pale green colors. I wore a necklace made of leather, wood, gold, and amber, in the shape of distorted circle (very modern and 60s). I put my hair up, teased in the back, into a ponytail, brigette bardot style, and drew on black eyeliner. I painted my nails with a translucent neutral color. I wore stacked sandals. Then, I had to walk from a friend's house so I tested out the effect. Pretty good results!

This though, is done from a strategic, business perspective. It's an investment which may provide better returns. That's it, and that's all. If I could buy a bunch of stuff right now for my son, I would, but if I have to choose, to get from A to B, through a variety of methods, I'll do what needs to be done in order to get to the place I need to be at.