Monday, June 2, 2008

Type A/B or J/P?

My new roommate is orderly. I typically don't write all the things I'm dying to write about people I live with, and there's a lot here, but I must make mention of the orderly factor.

I'm an ENTP, and the "P" signifies the tendency to remain open-ended and big picture oriented while not as concerned with details. It's also the tendency towards spontaneity and, probably, procrastination. It means I will spend exhausting amounts of time gathering information before I decide I'm prepared to analyse it, whereas the opposite of P, which is "J" (for "judging"), means time is more structured, details attended to, and decisions made more quickly. In a way, it's the "type A" vs. "type B" but that's far too simplistic, because I am highly Type A when it comes to some things, and perfectionistic, yet not with other things. When it comes to justice, and people doing their jobs well, I'm very type A. When it comes to housekeeping and things I consider to be less important, I'm type B.

My roommate is probably an INTJ. We have a lot in common, and yet the biggest thing that stands out to me, is the orderly factor. I think it's amusing and interesting, but I think he doesn't like how I notice, because I try to tease him about it, and he's quite serious with regard to this matter. He is the Bed Bath and Beyond King.

He's got the nice furniture and candles burning, welcome mats, the softest toilet tissue I've ever wiped my backside with (oooh! aaah! i think I need to go again!), and likes art and learns daily verses in foreign languages.

I knew right away. "Oh no..." I said to him, "I need to tell you, I am really more of a creative chaos type of person." He said he figured as much and that as long as I picked up after myself, it would be fine.

I left the stereo on, left the computer running, and had a few dishes in the sink. I had shoes by the door, and an empty container on the counter. My bed was unmade and I still had my clothes on the floor, but I thought I was doing very well. Not so, and I had to be corrected. Since then, I've been trying my best to pick everything up. I feel like I'm living with one of my former roommates, Terry, again, who whipped me into shape and offered me lessons in feng shui for my reward.

However, a day ago, I was sitting at the bar of the kitchen, with my egg tortillas smothered in green salsa, and they were on a ceramic plate. My roommate took one glance, opened a drawer beneath him, and said, "Oh, I have placemats", and slides one underneath my plate as my hand is raised to my mouth, salsa dripping from the corner of my taco, down my wrist. I teased him and he defended, saying it wasn't his house and he'd had to clean up little nicks and scratches from the bar when he moved in.

We went shopping for groceries next. He created a line inside the cart: his side and my side. He did this after we each selected 10 yogurts and put them in the cart. All of his Yoplait's were standing upright, and looked like they'd been racked with a pool table ball thingy. MY Yoplait's were all lying on their sides, rolling back and forth, at all angles, with maybe one that was upright being knocked out like a pin, to roll with the rest. I said, pointing at the cart, "Look at that!" He said, "Yeah." I said, pointing to his Yoplait's: "Type A", and then pointing to my Yoplait's, "Type B" and laughed. He didn't laugh though! It was then that he created "sides" in the cart. I added, "I'm actually very type A myself, in many ways." Later, I realized, it's not "type A and B", it's the "P" and "J" thing. I'm a perceiver and he's a judger. I'm messy and he's not.

I did tell him, that I'm very easygoing as a roommate, but somewhat carefree, so to let me know if something gets on his nerves.

After he leaves for work, his bed is made. Not just covers are thrown back up, but the bed is made nicely. My bed? I haven't made it since I moved in, though I did pull the comforter up. And my bags are still unpacked.

He found a wet towel on my floor and hung it up for me. I had it draped across a bag, so it wasn't crumpled on the floor, but he showed me how he likes to have it folded neatly over the bar, and that if it's damp, he turns on the space heater which is directly beneath it, to dry it out. He's thought of everything!

My best friend from high school was even more particular. She lined the toilet seat with toilet paper, in her own house, before she sat down on the seat.

It's The Odd Couple, and I'm the one who will happily throw spaghetti onto the wall or fridge, to be sure it has the right sticky texture.

There is some dirt around here, and if he were really anal, he wouldn't have dried out fir branches decorating walls and bookshelves because he'd be concerned about bugs and pine needles. Another good sign, is that the couch is comfortable and the furniture is wood. There is very little chrome and modern tech furniture (people who live in steel houses shouldn't cast parties).

He says he's never done a Meyers-Briggs test but I have to test him. I would bet money he's INTJ. I just read recently that ENTPs are complemented by ENTJs except that the P/J difference can cause frustrations, so I have to be mindful of the P/J thing with my roommate now.

I wonder if the military is partly to blame? for the shoe shining orderly habit? To THINK! I almost joined the Navy myself, when I was 18. I could have turned out an entirely different person, a neater, more obedient woman.

I went to the Navy office with a girlfriend who was dead-set on joining, and I was wearing a pink flowered dress, heels, and my long hair was curled. Those recruiters couldn't believe I was there to join them, to become military. The first thing they said was, "You know you'd have to cut that hair." I think THEY thought it would be more of a shame than I did. But I balked, "...How short?" I asked.

I took the Navy test and did lousy at math and science but got everything right (except one) on the verbal and vocab portion. They said they were impressed I scored so highly on the verbal side and that very few did. I asked if I could be assigned to journalism or communications if I were in the Navy but they wouldn't promise. I figured, no way am I going in to be a telephone operator! So I told them I had musical talent. Suddenly, I had an interview scheduled in Seattle, to sing my lungs out and audition for the Navy band. I could sing from the halls of Montezuma to the Shores of Tripoli, I thought, dramatically, seeing myself decked out in a cocktail dress with military men swooning as I worked the room, Bette Midler style.

I went home, and began thinking more seriously. Boot camp sounded like FUN, and it didn't scare me in the least. I was already a cross-country runner, and could do pull-ups and sit-ups, and I WANTED to do the obstacle course, so, piece of cake. But then I started hearing stories of assignments that change once you're there, and I began to see myself in a submarine, cramped into a tiny cot, reading my eyes out because there's nothing else to do, and surrounded by all these men out at sea--with only my wits and virginity about me. Hmmm...I started to feel claustrophobic. So I cancelled my audition for the Navy (or didn't show up) and cheered my friend on. She dropped out a couple years later.

If I had gone into the Navy, perhaps I would have come out of it, a more tidy person. My roommate is former Marines. I chose Navy because I like the water more than land, and Marines sounded too tough to me when I was 18. Also, my friend was the one who made me go with her into the office, because that's what she wanted to do.

After I decided against the Navy, I looked into being a nanny, a bellydancer, a masseusse, just about everything...and I selected my favorite frivolous private colleges which were mainly East Coast. I liked one in TN, which had a good writing program, and was sort of Ivy, and then I liked a few which were women's colleges and part-debutante societies. I looked at law schools too, ahead of time, and got a tape of Gonzaga.

When I started getting all these various brochures and fliers in the mail, my parents wanted to know WHAT was going on! "One week it's bellydancing, the next week it's floral school," they said. There is a lot to choose from, though! and the world is such a fascinating place! This "P" tendency is also, I think, partly to blame for why I am still single. How will I ever decide on just one man? And, for another thing, I probably just haven't met him yet, so what am I going to do? Settle?!!!!????!!!! I like to keep my options open until I know for sure.

Which is also like leaving the bagels and cream cheese on the counter after I've walked away, because I just MIGHT want to go back to it. Why put everything away if I can save a step and just leave it out? ;)

This post is for all the "P"s in the world. Hey, it's for all the "J"s too. Peace!

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