More Than A Handful

I felt some real breasts the other night, ones which weren't my own.

It was right after my "friend" with "cancer" pushed me away by telling me I should find a nice boyfriend. So I left, mad, and then perked up at the idea of just getting away from him to have some fun then. I had a few drinks and by the time I was even enjoying dancing to karaoke music, I went to the women's restroom and it was ONE BIG BOOB fest.

Boy oh boy, I guess I have CPS and the state (the "department") to thank for all of my new adventures!

There were four young women in the room, comparing breasts, which was normal, but then, because one had had implants, they were examining and talking about having the surgery done for themselves. Everyone wanted to know if they felt real, so she just pulled them out and passed them around. Within 5 minutes, 4 women had their breasts outside of their shirts, over the tops, and were talking about what they'd do and what they don't like about them now.

How could I not be interested? Since having my massive breast expansion and deflation from pregnancy, I'm interested in the procedure myself so I had to have a feel. "Saline or silicone?" I asked, and got the name of the doctor and medical place. I think I was the only one who actually got a name of a doctor, for future reference, so I'm not sure if some of the women were just having "fun" or what, but I felt the boobs when offered, and was reasonably impressed with the plastic results.

Then, I know I was SUPER "drunk", but I kissed one woman's breasts at the top of her chest, in a friendly, see-you-later sort of way. I wasn't turned on at all, it just seemed the polite thing to do, like Sharon Osbourne getting a feel, or a kiss on the cheek, or whathaveyou. There was more to the conversation at the time, but that's for later I guess.

Before that, I do remember commiserating about my own breasts and I had a look, only revealing a small portion, and not everything. I was just being social, really, and yet I didn't think for a minute that anyone was going to REMEMBER what they looked like. It was in the moment of a girl circle I thought. And then, I used the bathroom and had to ask myself, "Was that purely clinical interest?" and I paused to think, and was so glad that YES! I am totally on track with my knowledge about my sexual preferences--I am fully heterosexual! I left the bathroom just as another woman came in when all the boobs were out for show and feel. She was shocked and said she'd never seen anything like that in her life. She was wearing a cowboy hat and I'm suprised it stayed on her head.

I was back to dancing with one of my favorite Canadian friends who is always dancing too, and a little while later, I talked to some guy outside who was goodlooking. I noticed he watched me dancing afterwards and we laughed a little bit when we were talking until I went back inside to dance. I walked over to his table, and said I needed a lap to sit on. Very brazen of me, in public, but I felt friendly and happy and social. The guy I had been talking to said I could sit on his lap and I did, and then we laugh-talked and he said I had a bone-y butt and I said, "Bones like a fish" which he repeated. He was a commercial construction worker who was articulate and used words like "fussy". Sort of interesting. So I'm sitting there, and we're just chatting a bit, and all of a sudden, out of the blue, this woman puts her face right next to ours and says to me, "Hi there pretty nipples!" and she keeps calling me "pretty nipples" and explains to this guy, to my embarassment. So I had to then explain what was going on in there and the woman who had the surgery, and her friends, came over and talked about it briefly. He said he wasn't a fan of surgery, and that "a handful" was enough, but I want it for me, for filler, so that's that.

Then I kissed him outside and he was a fantastic kisser, and that was it. It was perfect. The perfect ending to a "get lost" directive from a cancer friend. I found my Canadian girlfriend and she gave me a ride home from there! Safe and sound.

All these adventures. I never had them in college. The guy I kissed was 24 and thought I was mid-20s but I think it's a little dark in there. I just can't believe I sat on a lap in full view of the bar, so freely, although it was completely natural and innocent and I only sat across one leg to the side, and that I felt someone up. Ha! Unfortunately, I have a nickname now and somehow I hope it just goes away quietly...Shhhhh....

I think the AG, Tomas Caballero, must be the mastermind behind all of these new experiences. I guess "the department" is really on my side afterall, you know, just wanted to free up a devoted mama of one beautiful boy so she could get her fun in and some drinking done. What's interesting is that before they took my son, I had him enrolled in mommy and me preschool, mommy and me swimming lessons twice a week, library readings twice a week, and took him to McDonalds play structure and to the playground at the park at least 3 times a week. I was fully devoted and hands on.

I think the department must be really proud of how they single-handedly pull families together, in the "best interest of the child" and keep the mother-child bond intact. They really outdo themselves! How many times have they taken children away from good homes, and then watched knowingly, as the parents react to the devastation in the most natural way, which happens to be an excuse for ammunition against the parent they never had to begin with. Because we all know they'll claim I'm a drunk, of course, even though I'm not and people in this town know it, and I don't do drugs at all, and I don't sleep around, but I'll be made to appear as a freewheeling "immoral" (according to strict CPS codes for mothers) and irresponsible mom who parties at night when her child is hours away, because she can't travel that far on her butt because of pain from childbirth damages.

It's been over a month and they have made zero accomodations for my physical injuries and disabilities. Zero. And my PDs haven't done anything about it either.

So basically, boobs on the house people. Next time Caballero lets another CPS and "department" worker hop onto his high horse, and point a finger, I'll let the plastic people poke for the feel of a woman's breast which nursed her son even though it was the most painful thing I've almost ever done, just so he had optimum nutrition. I'll let Caballero and the judge have a look at the stretch marks across my breasts when the allegations begin to fly about how I'm not a suitable mother now or when attempts are made to claim I wasn't THEN.

Every one of the women in that bathroom were mothers who had given birth to children and in their case, had made it a night to go out for the first time in a long time, leaving their children to sleep under the care of babysitters. Oh, except for one woman and she was so proud of her breasts and admitted she hadn't had kids yet or been pregnant. I kissed hers briefly because we all know they won't look that way forever! and, because, I felt a little bit sorry for her, in a motherly way, that she hasn't yet experienced the joy of having and raising a child, but proud of her for not rushing into anything either and taking her time, as I did.

I guess I'll sign off on this one post, this one time, as "Pretty Nipples"