Basic Survival

I went to Canada with $300 in my pocket, and knew no one. I found friends and a place to stay, within days, and a job within 2 weeks.

I was tossed across the border into Blaine, WA with $30 in my pocket. I found housing and friends and work.

I came to Washington D.C. with $200 with me, not knowing anyone. I found friends, housing, and have job possibilities.

I never asked for anything but had these things offered to me. And I owe a lot of people, and remember everyone, and will one day find a way to repay them for their kindnesses. They can also know I have always been a giver when I was able to give and that this will continue in the future.

You do what you have to do, and sometimes, you have to take a risk to acheive what you want to do and where you want to be. People do this all the time, immigrants and refugees especially. It's taking that jump, knowing you are strong enough to land on your feet and believing there are decent people in the world.

Someone who has paranoid schitzophrenia doesn't do this. And I'm not manic. Each decision was calculated. Not having resources doesn't mean you haven't made plans.

There are many different forms of survival. One kind is essential survival, for goods you need (shelter and food) and another kind is emotional survival (finding strength within yourself). There's also survival from traumatic bodily injury and possibility of death.

I've done all these things, and I've become stronger, not weaker, and I never had a breakdown. I made a decision, once, to try to end things because I was sick of what was going on, and being harassed. But it wasn't a "phase" I was in, and it didn't persist. I decided I'd made a bad choice and would never try THAT again, and have never considered it since. That would be a reference to a suicide attempt, which I'll get into, and talk about what led up to that, in my TTSOML posts.