Thursday, July 24, 2008

Singing On YouTube

I put more clips on my YouTube account (bisybear). I tried to convert files myself without my roommate's help, and something is wrong with the ones I did. They're all scratchy and I don't know, not smooth like they should be. So I'll have to replace them. They're extremely boring, but at least CPS or whomever can see for themselves how "drug-seeking" and mentally ill I appear to be, and all these clips contradict their suspicions. I may sound like an airhead, or look vain, but there's no bizarre "behavior" and this was during the time we were going through all the stuff.

There was nothing wrong with me except the acute pain and symptoms we suffered from. When I wrote about it, on my posts, I was in extreme pain and of course I sounded nuts because something was going on and no one paid attention.

I made the clips of just me when my son was asleep so they're quieter. Some of the original songs I do I usually belt out, but I couldn't sing to my potential with my son in the next room.

At least this gives people an idea of what I sound like and who I am on an everyday basis, when I'm not upset because I'm being harassed by others who are clueless. But I look at these clips of myself, and listen to how I talk, and it makes sense that people think I'm ditzy or vulnerable. My determined side is interior, not a surface thing (I think that could also be said for my intellect).

If I can get my roommate to set up his webcam and borrow my neighbor's guitar, I'll make some new clips of some of my original songs and add those. They'll sound a lot better with instruments and the music along with my voice.

Some of the things I do on camera are really stupid and it's embarassing, but I didn't think I would be putting these online--I was just experimenting for the first time with a webcam. I even have shots of me standing with underwear that's too tight on and making a crease in my butt. Not cool. But it's authentic I guess. I don't think I sound TOO crazy for someone who is just thinking out loud...??? do I? :)

I really do NOT like learning how to splice and convert files and video and stuff. It's too much "follow the directions" and put the parts together for me. It reminds me of those "assembly required" table and chair sets. Or anything which requires assembly. I hate assembly. Which is why I love others who get off on fixing things, putting things together, and assembling stuff.

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