As a young woman, I was in psychiatric hospitals for three lengthy stays. Despite my diagnosis with schizophrenia and my "grave prognosis" -- that I would live in a board and care facility and work at a menial job at best -- I am a chaired professor of law at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles, with a beloved husband, Will, and many good friends. I'd like to tell you how that happened and describe my experience of being psychotic. I qualify that by saying my experience, because everyone becomes psychotic in his or her own way. One Friday night on the roof of the Yale Law School library I scared my classmates with a full-blown psychotic episode. Quoting from my writings: "The next morning, I went to my professor's office to ask for an extension, and began gibbering unintelligibly as I had the night before. He eventually brought me to the Emergency Room. "Someone I'll call just 'The Doctor,' and his whole team of goons swooped down, grabbed me, lifted me out of the chair and slammed me down on a nearby bed with such force that I saw stars. Then they bound both my legs and arms to the metal bed, with thick leather straps. "A sound came out of my mouth that I'd never heard before. Half-groan, half-scream, barely human, and pure terror. Then the sound came again, forced from somewhere deep inside my belly and scraping my throat raw." TED.com: Sherwin Nuland on how electroshock therapy changed him This incident resulted in my involuntary hospitalization. One reason the doctors gave for holding me against my will was that I was gravely disabled. Supporting this view, they wrote in my chart that I was not able to do my Yale Law School homework. I wonder what that meant for most of the rest of New Haven. During the next year, I would spend five months in psychiatric hospitals on the East Coast. At times, I spent up to 20 hours a day in restraints -- hands tied, hands and feet tied down, hands and feet tied down with a net tied tightly across my chest. I never struck anyone, I never harmed anyone, I never made any direct threats to anyone. I was lucky I wasn't one of the one to three people who die in restraints each week. Today, I am pro-psychiatry and anti-force. I don't think force is effective as a treatment. And I think using force is a terrible thing to do to another human being with a terrible illness. *** Everything about my illness says that I shouldn't be here. But I am. And I am, I think, for three reasons. First, I've had excellent treatment, both psychoanalytic psychotherapy and medication. Second, I have many family members and close friends who know me and who know my illness. Third, USC Law School is an enormously supportive workplace which has been able not just to accommodate my needs, but to embrace my needs. Even with all of that -- excellent treatment, wonderful friends and family, enormously supportive work environment -- I did not make my illness public until relatively late in my life. And that's because the stigma against mental illness is so powerful that I didn't feel safe with people knowing. If you hear nothing else today, please hear that there are not schizophrenics, there are people with schizophrenia. And each of these people may be a parent, may be your sibling, may be your neighbor, may be your colleague. http://www.cnn.com/2012/08/12/opinion/saks-mental-illness/index.html?hpt=hp_bn7
Not that you can enroll there since you literally failed your courses through EOU. The financial aid laws say someone that has failed even one course, let alone all of the courses you failed, doesn't deserve financial aid. You are disqualified.
P>S> I am NOT A LOW_FUNCTIONING PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIC
I thought I'd add, I read the link and it's a good article. I think it is a correct description of one symptom of schizophrenia: disorganized thought/speech/writing.
In that context, this is what that was. In other contexts, if you have a writer for example, known to express creatively and write poetry, it has nothing to do with disorganization. It has everything to do with creativity.
I appreciated reading about a horror story of those in psych wards because it's an extremely dangerous place to be.
You're incorrect about my having "failed" courses, if we want to analyze what failure is meant to describe, and you're incorrect about financial aid for someone who receives less than perfect grades (for whatever reason) one term.
For me, my books came late and I had major problems with the online program "Elsevier Reed" working when I tried to take my nursing-medical terminology class.
So for the sake of those who are worried about college, don't give up.
this is a blog about my life and thoughts on: clergy abuse (Mt. Angel Abbey); defamation by press (Willamette Week); freedom of speech; abuse of government powers; religion, and other social issues; and the art & humor in routine life; and is dedicated to my son
5 comments:
As a young woman, I was in psychiatric hospitals for three lengthy stays. Despite my diagnosis with schizophrenia and my "grave prognosis" -- that I would live in a board and care facility and work at a menial job at best -- I am a chaired professor of law at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles, with a beloved husband, Will, and many good friends. I'd like to tell you how that happened and describe my experience of being psychotic. I qualify that by saying my experience, because everyone becomes psychotic in his or her own way.
One Friday night on the roof of the Yale Law School library I scared my classmates with a full-blown psychotic episode.
Quoting from my writings:
"The next morning, I went to my professor's office to ask for an extension, and began gibbering unintelligibly as I had the night before. He eventually brought me to the Emergency Room.
"Someone I'll call just 'The Doctor,' and his whole team of goons swooped down, grabbed me, lifted me out of the chair and slammed me down on a nearby bed with such force that I saw stars. Then they bound both my legs and arms to the metal bed, with thick leather straps.
"A sound came out of my mouth that I'd never heard before. Half-groan, half-scream, barely human, and pure terror. Then the sound came again, forced from somewhere deep inside my belly and scraping my throat raw."
TED.com: Sherwin Nuland on how electroshock therapy changed him
This incident resulted in my involuntary hospitalization. One reason the doctors gave for holding me against my will was that I was gravely disabled. Supporting this view, they wrote in my chart that I was not able to do my Yale Law School homework. I wonder what that meant for most of the rest of New Haven.
During the next year, I would spend five months in psychiatric hospitals on the East Coast. At times, I spent up to 20 hours a day in restraints -- hands tied, hands and feet tied down, hands and feet tied down with a net tied tightly across my chest. I never struck anyone, I never harmed anyone, I never made any direct threats to anyone.
I was lucky I wasn't one of the one to three people who die in restraints each week.
Today, I am pro-psychiatry and anti-force. I don't think force is effective as a treatment. And I think using force is a terrible thing to do to another human being with a terrible illness.
***
Everything about my illness says that I shouldn't be here. But I am. And I am, I think, for three reasons. First, I've had excellent treatment, both psychoanalytic psychotherapy and medication. Second, I have many family members and close friends who know me and who know my illness. Third, USC Law School is an enormously supportive workplace which has been able not just to accommodate my needs, but to embrace my needs.
Even with all of that -- excellent treatment, wonderful friends and family, enormously supportive work environment -- I did not make my illness public until relatively late in my life. And that's because the stigma against mental illness is so powerful that I didn't feel safe with people knowing. If you hear nothing else today, please hear that there are not schizophrenics, there are people with schizophrenia. And each of these people may be a parent, may be your sibling, may be your neighbor, may be your colleague.
http://www.cnn.com/2012/08/12/opinion/saks-mental-illness/index.html?hpt=hp_bn7
http://colleges.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-colleges/university-of-phoenix-20988
University of Phoenix isn't even ranked!
Not that you can enroll there since you literally failed your courses through EOU. The financial aid laws say someone that has failed even one course, let alone all of the courses you failed, doesn't deserve financial aid. You are disqualified.
P>S> I am NOT A LOW_FUNCTIONING PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIC
To "as a young woman",
If this is the truth, that is horrible, and things like that do happen.
As for USC, they took blood money.
Thanks,
Hi,
I thought I'd add, I read the link and it's a good article. I think it is a correct description of one symptom of schizophrenia: disorganized thought/speech/writing.
In that context, this is what that was. In other contexts, if you have a writer for example, known to express creatively and write poetry, it has nothing to do with disorganization. It has everything to do with creativity.
I appreciated reading about a horror story of those in psych wards because it's an extremely dangerous place to be.
To the U of Phoenix commenter:
I haven't checked and I will try to do so later.
You're incorrect about my having "failed" courses, if we want to analyze what failure is meant to describe, and you're incorrect about financial aid for someone who receives less than perfect grades (for whatever reason) one term.
For me, my books came late and I had major problems with the online program "Elsevier Reed" working when I tried to take my nursing-medical terminology class.
So for the sake of those who are worried about college, don't give up.
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