On Sunday I read, by choice, about false prophets because I felt sort of discouraged. Some of these people have serious gifts or abilities and one of them, I watched just crying and dancing before the Lord, and then she comes over to me later and gives me the evil eye. It was like, what she thought should happen, and what she wanted, if it fit politics, was great. So I thought, how can someone look so devoted to God and then they stare you in the eye and you see this very political "agenda" when, if they are so devoted to God, why don't they trust God with "the agenda". Sort of this underlying mean, revenge, want-the-other-team-to-win vibe and if that's there, it's not peace or rest or trusting in God to do whatever, but wanting to work out machinations to their own desires, whether it's nice or not. Then I thought, well sometimes people, prophet or seer types, can be exuberant or honest to God and yet they are still human and have problems with people. But I think there's a line. If there is too much machination, it doesn't make for a very authentic worship when it comes down to it. I mean yeah, people pray and sing in church and then go out and kill eachother (or just gossip or whatever) but with those who try to "work out plans" or see things for others, some of them are more worried about being right in their own eyes than what is actually right. This one woman was looking in my eyes trying to see the future and I was looking back seeing her humanity. So I read Jeremiah that night. I thought, I am sure not gifted the way some of these people are, so I guess I'll just have to rely on God noticing the condition of my heart (which isn't always good, and I have problems with some people too, but you know, in general, deep down it's between you and God).
This morning, after reading up on Judges last night and seeing the odds and thinking about what's been done, I was then at my parent's house and said I think I'm going to lose no matter what I try. It's a Catholic majority. I mean, if someone hadn't already known their own odds at getting away with everything were good, they wouldn't have done the things they've done. So I was asked if it's state or federal and I said I don't know about Oregon but it's probably at least half and half here and in Washington, it's the majority. They have the entire justice system. I said, "That's why it only changed when I was with the Catholic guy." The thing is, even if he had not been Catholic, they thought he was. So anyone that thought he was Catholic, treated me better and they controlled the entire thing.
Then I went back to my house because at the last minute I was given access to the law library but it's late. Not only is it late, I am being tortured through use of DOD technology and I have new emergency medical problems that I'm having to acquire insurance for.
I prayed a little and then decided to open randomly in my two Bibles because I figured anything I read will be good and I don't have anything coming to mind specifically. Almost all of the passage were about Justice. I mean, justice system justice. And how God can't find anyone righteous and has to do it himself. And then, after reading how he then cloaks himself in righteousness and justice, I opened to another passage in my other Bible about how he takes his own oath, upon himself, because no one is greater. I'll share the passages. Then I decided, after looking up a few scriptures and reading, to open this other who's who book to just read about a biblical character and I landed on one that references corrupt judges again. I mean, directly refences them: "...a demonstration that shows how easily Israel's justice system could be corrupted." (justice system in general). It talks about how a man was pressured to sell his field and when he refused, the female ruler told someone to kill him "take him out" and then all the officials (judges) bowed to her and then it says, "...a demonstration of how easily Israel's justice system could be corrupted."
So it was a big random judge and justice system them from scripture today. Which fits into what I've been thinking about.
The first one I read (though it was the second one I turned to, and saved a place for it and then read it first) was Isaiah 59:8-21. This is the one about people greiving because there is no justice. It describes what is happening, how "justice is being driven back" and the Lord looked and was displeased that there was no justice. He saw that there was no one to intervene; so his arm worked salvation for him, and then it talks about repentence.
Actually, I think I read this one first but got it second? I can't remember. So it's "What do you want?" Nehemiah 2:4-6. The king asks what he wants and he says he wants to rebuild his city. Then they ask, in response, how long will it take and what time will you get back and then they set a time. I just read that much.
Then I went to my other Bible and it was Hebrews 6:13-20, about the certaintly of God's promise and how, since there was no one greater than him to swear by, he took an oath, swearing by himself and then it speaks of oaths. Which made me think about the whole "I swear to tell the truth..." and laying ones hand on a Bible. So, as there was no one to work justice and he had to do it himself, he had to swear by himself too. And then it speak of a hope in this.
I then randomly turned to Psalms and it was Psalm 86. It is a prayer of David for mercy and goodness and then at the end of it he asks for a sign, that will show others God is with him.
After reading this I decided to look something up in the who's who book of Bible characters and first thought, whatever it is will be good but then, since I had just read about sometimes (on occasion) praying for a sign, I asked for a sign with what I opened to but figured God can do it or not. And it fell on the story of Naboth, whose name means "sprouts" or "elevation" so it says. And it tells the brief account of how he owned a vineyard and a ruler wanted it. When he refused to sell, or give it up, they decided to just take it and kill him. And then everyone bowed at this and this is where it says it is an example of "how easily...justice system was corrupted." This is the first quote I saw because my eyes came upon it first, p. 314, and then I went back.
So this made me think about how I was pressured to not only give up my son, but give up eggs for others. And how I've been punished as a result of refusing, for something that was my property, given to me by God, and was never their right to ruin or take. Then I thought later, I guess I was also pressured to give up lawsuits that had been forced to take out just to protect my good name.
So in my opinion, I thought there was a strong justice system theme today with what I read and I thought I would share it. The thing is, it's great to feel like you get confirmation about something or to have scriptures mean more at a specific time, but then how this changes anything or convinces anyone of something I have no idea.
I would like to have someone come forward with evidence to help me. I was lasered while even writing this. I say it's laser bc it's internal heating that is not external or hot flashes and I know the difference. The only person aside from FBI that was new on the scene in some way was Panetta. Prior or upon advent of full time torture. When I think of some Mormons who don't seem to be Mormon at all, I can also think, "Is this a Mormon directive?" and then knowing the only possible way to get torture of this nature authorized, controlled, and covered, is through the top people, I know it's not a Mormon directive. All the top people who have the authority to control matters are Catholic. So ultimately, you may get people who are of various faiths and walks who will commit crimes but this is not a small thing and it is only the kind of thing that makes it to the top. There is no way that when Wenatchee allowed torture, D.C. didn't know about it. In fact, I was interviewed by an FBI agent from D.C., who reported back to D.C., in 2004. The full time torture occured after this event. The FBI headquarters in D.C. knew all about me by 2004, and the OIG in D.C. knew all about me by 2005.