Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Agoura Hills, California--Torture(using computers, as in E. Wenatchee)

The exact same torture a group perpetrated against me and my son is being started up again over here.

I have been subjected to other forms of torture since my son was taken from me, but they quit using this form. And as of yesterday, they started it up again and I have seen it done to my parents a few times. It's been done to me a couple of times, but not 2 days in a row.

It started after I brought up the fact that all these people are Catholic, and said, over the telephone, to an organization, that I did not want to speak to a representative that was Catholic or Jewish because there had been conflicts in the past.

It didn't start after I brought up the Archdiocese stuff, but right on the heels of it, I guess about the same time I was writing about this actually, and writing about collusion between FBI and church members.

So then I was on the phone yesterday and had to discuss some disability matters for migraine and other things, and I said I wanted to talk to someone who wasn't Catholic or Jewish. Since it was for disablity I said consider my PTSD from abuse through religious hate to be my reason for request. So the woman said okay and transfered me to a woman. I asked if she was Catholic and she said no.

This is over at Disability services in Coos Bay, by the way. So then I said, okay, and proceeded to go over things with her and do a phone interview where she asked me questions and I responded. All of a sudden, she attempted to suggest something, and wanted me to agree, rather than letting me give her my answer. Normally it wouldn't be a big deal but I had just told her I was both being tortured and had PTSD but the PTSD was from being tortured, not the other way around, as if PTSD was the disorder that created a "delusion" of being tortured. So she said she understood and I was trying to discuss things for what they call "presumptive healthcare" which is insurance you qualify for if you apply for SSI, under the "presumption" you need healthcare.

So then I had to list reasons why I would apply for SSI (umm...bc I am forced to? not by my parents either?) and I gave her a few and then instead of asking when did you first have symptoms for neck pain? and instead of allowing me to answer, she said, "at the same time your PTSD started up?" As if my neck pain was not real and PTSD must have started the same time as neck pain bc it was all imaginary.

So I just said, having a flashback of the FBI trying to suggest things for me to agree to rather than allowing me to give my actual testimony, I couldn't work with her. I said, "You said you're not Catholic?" and she said yes and I said, "And your parents aren't Catholic?" and she said no, and I said, "Well I don't want to talk to you if even your grandparents are Catholic," and I hung up.

It was just the same familiar attempt to make one thing (PTSD from torture) sound like another (PTSD causes delusion of torture). Most of the time, those attempting to make convenient conversions of the truth have been Catholic or connected to someone who defamed me and then ran with it and committed crimes or wants to keep getting away with it.

So I called back and talked to the supervisor and said I'd rather talk to someone else. I asked what the woman's name was that had reminded me so much of Catholics and the FBI and it was Theresa Pumala. Then I was with another woman who didn't stand out as much but when I called today I had to go over some things still and found out after I had talked to her for about 2 hours and gave a whole list of the hospitals and clinics I'd been to, for checking to confirm for this insurance, when I asked her today about the list, it was partial or sort of out of order, but then the part that stood out was she was only mailing me, out of 20-25 places, TWO forms for release of information and they weren't even places that had the best documentation for proving my case and need. I had just talked to the supervisor and she said a form for each place was supposed to go out. I asked if I could just copy it and she said no.

So I had to go over the whole list again and count out how many forms I needed to have mailed to me so they could process this and by the time I had gone through with her, I remembered more and knowing I need a form for each, I asked for this and ended up needing 36 forms. THEN I had to ask, "Actually, I might need more than that because some hospitals require a separate release for hospital vs radiology so do they do this with you guys?" and she said no. I hung up and then remembered, oh yeah, and I forgot about THAT state, and I went to 3 places there, and then the disability offices at Portland Community College matter too, because even if it's not a medical office, it shows establishment of attempts to get accomodations. I ended up needing at least 40 forms.

I remembered that I even got them through some professors, for additional time, but I also remembered how my entire disability file "disappeared" and was gone for good after I met with their director and then I had to reapply all over again. That was in 1998-1999, after I was raped.

It's the first time my medical records just "vanished". I had gone into the PCC disability offices, after 15 or more migraines in a month and I was sobbing bc I was totally incapacitated and the man I talked to started up a file, took out a folder there and started it up. I also talked to them over the phone. So later, when I went back to discuss this and talk about something, it was "gone". They said they didn't have a file for anyone with my name, ss#, nothing. I had to start over and try to ask for accomodations again and then some teachers were fine and others gave me a horrible time and I was told unless I had a stamp of "disabled" they didn't have to do anything. And then the disability offices told me that too. I gave them some medical records, but they said I had to be called "disabled".

So it was over migraines and then after I signed up, the migraines slacked off. They started in late 1996 or 1997 and I got documentation in 1997 because I signed up to try triptans and things.

By the time I got to Wenatchee, in 2004-2005, I had a very well established medical history of migraine, which by that time included two neurologist's evaluations. So when certain doctors defamed me for the FBI and Catholic church, and refused to treat me, they did so in the face of a mountain of evidence that supported me. I repeatedly asked them, when I was in ER, to send a fax or put a call to Oregon for proof I had migraine and they refused. Even after I gave them my records and said put this at the top of the chart, some of the doctors refused still.

At the same time, whatever group was behind triggering severe migraine one after the other in 1998, did the same thing to me again at that time, in 2005, to the point that with outright refusal of doctors and hospitals treating me, I wanted to die. I found out later, it was possible I had been 'red-flagged' later by police who got info from FBI, but who was behind it I don't know. I didn't have a complaint against the FBI in 1998.

If I found out this person who raped me was working for the government in some kind of capacity, maybe that would explain more of a connection. However, I later discovered most of the migraines, in my opinion, were triggered by technology and not of natural origin, so why this happened to me starting at the end of 1996 I don't know. They were in a bizarre predictable pattern by 1997 while working at CTR. I even joked about it and then it stuck as if someone wanted to reinforce the idea they thought I already had. If I thought I was having them on certain days in a pattern and came up with some "explanation" they went with that and then on Fridays and Saturdays I'd be in bed with a migraine.

I guess Friday-Saturday is interesting in that later in WA, it was on these days my car was vandalized.

Then I thought maybe it had to do with my periods so instead of my idea really coming from the fact, it was more like I voiced my idea and then someone thought it was a good cover and went with that. As long as it looked natural.

It did not look "natural" after 15 in a month. I was living in Lake Oswego, Or. It was me and my housemates and I didn't know the neighbors on either side very well but my bedroom window looked across the street to a shared townhouse area where one man traveled everywhere (he was in sales) and I don't know what his religion was (Dennis) and the other guy was Jewish. I went back to visit him once and he acted really apprehensive and suspicious. Ironically, he was on disability for "cluster headaches". Steve was a doctor (I think a neurologist or surgeon or something) but had to go on disability for cluster headaches, which are like severe migraines but occuring with greater frequency. He had an oxygen tank and everything. They moved in after I was there.

I invited them over for dinner and cooked for everyone and there were other house parties as well. I met a guy from Denmark, Ragnar, who was engaged to my housemate's best friend Hillary (who had gone to Lake Oswego high where Halea went). I remember I wore my almost flourescent red turtleneck and the look on Ragnar's face when we were introduced. No one was wearing flourescent red then but I wore it for my passport photo too, and I could tell Ragnar liked that sweater and was amused as well. So I never forgot what I had been wearing the day we met. They went to church in California, which is the state where he composed music for cinema and I don't remember what she did but she sang and was artistic. Others at that time were people from my then church, Athey Creek. I met Halea Meyers in 1995 or 1996, after my auto accident where I brought my neck. I signed up to volunteer with youth group and she went on the same day and introduced herself. She started going after I was there and I asked if she was new because I hadn't seen her around before and we became friends. I was later asked by Penny to take her job with the Roses and then when I was asked by Laura and Scott Schnitzer for a woman who was my friend that would work for them I gave them Halea's name.

I just looked up Ragnar and Hilary. It's Hilary and Ragnar Rosincranz and it says they now live in the "Agoura Hills" which is, had to look it up, a part of Los Angeles, California. I think. It's inbetween Thousand Oaks and Los Angeles. I have never heard of any town called "Agoura" before. It's like Aurora but Agoura.

I was listening to christian hymns but I gotta bust a move now. Akon's "Dangerous". OOOooh I feel thah layz-ahs now. How far away from York?

(I played "my hope is built on nothing less" and then "trust and obey" and then when I found Agoura Hills I sort of had to step it up a notch)

So Blogger shut down on me and I had to restart and when I did it said, "Blogger is getting a new look in April": Upgrade now!

Whatever. New look with my old clothes? It's not the 70s anymore.

(My mother just asked me today, "Is that a new shirt?" and I said no, I've had it a little while. I'd better HIDE it while I can before the Hollywood Gypsy Christian Caravan absconds with it and then life-flights it to England)

MY PROPERTY has been diving into California where it appears the Middletons were picking it up, from CA to OR to WA. TOTAL gangsters.

This is just getting more and more bizarre. I would really like to know if any of the people I've mentioned in this blogpost are being tortured, because guess what? my family is, and no, I'm not crazy. So when I get a response to torture from an old friend that throws in a "crazy man" and references to crazy as if I AM crazy, I start to wonder. And yes, I am being tortured and worse after I wrote about Agoura Hills. If it's not a big deal why torture me and my family?

I chose another christian song and read the history of Joseph Scriven and Charles Converse. Hi WWagler. The song is written by Joseph and Converse was the composer. So for everyone else, the man is Irish and migrates to Canada. His fiance dies the eve of their wedding by drowning accident, then the next dies of tuberculosis and he becomes known as the Samaritan of Port Hope. Then he dies of a drowning. ??? He wrote "What A Friend We Have In Jesus".

I am just now remembering something my Dad said to me this morning about David not killing Saul even when he had the chance to do it, twice. I don't know why he mentioned this or if someone told him to, but I said, "Dad, he was hiding out and on the run and it's not like I'm being tortured by one person but a group of people."

I don't think my Dad was refering to me either. I don't think it had anything to do with me because that story is its own story with its own people, but I suppose he wanted me to think about not getting revenge.

I don't want revenge. I want what is my right to have and that's to not be tortured and have my son returned. So he said what about how you said you wanted to make money to get revenge (which is nothing my Dad would interpret that way but sounded exactly like something Theo Keyes would say). To my Dad I said, "I said I needed to make money now, to make up for lost time because I was planning ahead and saving for my retirement when I was 21 years old. I was planning for my future and all these things have happened. Accidents I can't control but the other things have to do with people that have done horrible things.

It's true. I had a plan, my 5 yr, 10 yr., and life plan written out and I had figured out a budget and ideas of how to invest. I owned my own house and I was planning for more. I was thinking about retirement THEN, and now I'm 37 and have NOTHING...FOR WHAT??

So I think it's reasonable to say I know that if I'm looking at the future, I have to plan for it and from all the time that has been stolen, I have to find a way to make up for that.

In the meantime, my family is being tortured. I thought Obama looked tortured for the first time, actually, today in a news clip. He looked slightly thinner and slightly tortured.

Then my mother went to the kitchen and I was there and she dropped a red lid from a tupperware and I reached quickly to pick it up and set it on the counter next to her. She said thanks and I thought, what's the deal with the lid? Other things were out and then I went to my place, and I had already opened a can of tomato sauce and I absentmindedly tore the lid off and it slipped from my fingers and onto the floor. I looked down and the sauce was rightside up on the lid, on my shoe, and I reached over thinking "my mom knew I was going to drop a lid with red sauce on it?" So I had to just now look at the label that was on it and it's a Vine brand called Red Gold from Elwood, Indiana. The label doesn't matter, it's that a "red lid" fell and I picked it up. And she had dates set aside and there were 3 of them, right next to that tupperware where the lid had fallen and on the can label there are 3 tomatoes. It was set out before she had gotten back from work. So either my Dad set it out or she did and then she came home and I watched.

So, 3 dates in the tupperware with red lid, lid falls to ground and I grab it. Then 3 tomatoes on the label of the can at my house and I tear off the can to wash it out,the lid falls (not on purpose) and I look down and it's red side up, with sauce on it, and I pick it up.

This is what people are freaked out and afraid of and why they have enslaved my family to work for who knows who and then tortured me and others in our family on the side if they don't do exactly as they're told to do.

Then, my mother put away a serraded knife that had been in the sink or washed or something, into the knife drawer. She shut the drawer and was just straightening things up. I decided to open the drawer, wondering what label was on the knife. Stainless, USA. Then I touched one other item in the drawer, wondering for some reason what was on it, and I looked at the front and nothing and on the back nothing and then it was a cheese slicer and then I looked at the handle and it said: Krona. Stainless, USA.

Then my mom was putting this withered red vine of some vegetable in the trash. She had this look on her face, because it was withered and she put it in a pan and didn't touch it and when I got to my house, I had dropped the lid sauce side up against my shoe, and then cut up lemons with a seraded knife (3 of them) after cutting one bc they were all on the same shelf and then I decided to look in a drawer where a bunch are and there were a few moldy ones, so I carried the tray (box) out of the fridge bc I needed to wash it out and then put the fruit back in. So I did and then tossed the moldy ones out into the compost pile.

I guess if I look back on it, I did what mom did, but I didn't know or plan to do it and didn't even know any of the lemons and limes were moldy because I had not opened that drawer as I was using the oldest ones first and they were not molding. When I first got the fruit I put the oldest ones at the top, to use first and then the next and then the best looking ones in the drawer. How my mom knew I don't know. I also checked the apple crisper and there was one that needed to be used up right away and it was the sonja apple. Then another one needed to be trimmed before it ruined the rest of the apple so I did this and put it back.

So I write this and then get a serious jab to the metal in my neck and it's not from the neck injury. They quit torturing me their old-style way, about an hour ago, which started up again against all of us when I wrote about FBI/Archdiocese and then said I don't want to talk to Catholics and Jews. My mom came home looking depressed and miserable and my Dad answered the door sounding angry like I did when I was tortured that way non-stop. I told my mom I was cold because, "It's been sort of heating up and then the chills all day today" and she knew what I was talking about and knows it's not hot flashes. She got tears in her eyes and then I thought oh no, that's probably what happened to her at work.

I tried to call her at work and this man answered with a weird sound on the other end like he was right next door. I realized this is the same sound on the phone I've heard when my mom or dad is just up the street on their cell phone too, but this was a landline. Then, I've heard this sound when I called my mom at her workplace before and then no one was around and I heard someone pick up the phone at her work. SO I said, "Mom who is on the other line right now at your work?" and she said no one but I knew someone was and she wouldn't say. So I mentioned how the phone sounded weird, today, and after that, as if on a mandated "cue" my mom let out this laugh that didn't sound like her real laugh at all but something someone wanted her to do to keep up appearances.

As for Catholics, I'll talk to them, but I don't want to have them "managing" my affairs or having me as their client when I have so much past experience of being screwed over. So it's not like I won't talk to people. However, any Judge, rep, doctor, nurse, lawyer, casa worker, social worker/cps worker (or supervisor)...that I've had in the past has managed to be Catholic or Jewish and things haven't turned out well. So no, I have nothing against Catholics whose kids were assaulted. If you understand my reasonable PTSD, it's in having one of them in a position of authority over my life because in almost every single case, they've done great harm.

Thinking back (tangent) again, I barely remember that last name Rosincranz.

I knew some Rosins, from Newburg, Oregon, before I met the Rosincranz's in 1998. Kurt, Andy, Stephanie Rosin...That was back in the early 90s, 1990-1993. We had BBQs with them and spent time at their house. She was a cross-country runner. We all went to the Assembly of God church in Newburg.

I can't remember what Halea's families background was, religiously. I think one of her grandparents or both, were Catholic and then her own mom and dad were nothing--not religious. Halea said she became a christian later, after high school I think. I went to the wedding of the Rosincranz's. She had been to Europe because Hilary was a model.

Oh yeah. I forgot. Hilary as a model in Europe--well U.S. and then took Halea with her to Europe. Then later, after I lived with her and after I was raped, she went to Israel and the middle east but I can't remember what for or who with. The only thing I remember her saying was she said she was glad to have worked for Lorraine and Laura first because the Palestinians were nice but the Jewish were mean (she said) so she didn't have a good impression (that's what she said then). I think maybe she went there before I was raped though bc I think I remember I brought up Palestinian with Lorraine later and she bristled at the term. She called them by another name but I cannot remember what! And I don't know why else I would use this term or mention it to Lorraine unless I heard it from Halea so therefore. I think she went somewhere after that one incident in my life though, bc I have this vague idea that she did and was gone from the house for awhile. She and I and all of us went to D.R. in 1997 and I had my passport for that purpose. So the red turtleneck I wore when Ragnar saw me in 1998, I still had and had worn for my passport photo.

I never knew what it was but I remember back then there was something going on and I didn't know what. Hilary didn't want to get close to me and was sometimes evasive and sometimes I thought she was a little jealous but that was before she was married. Then later they visited and showed photos of their family backyard and some pottery. I think Halea did pottery too. I did it in art class in h.s. Halea and I were both into art so that was something we had in common. I was taking art at community college and then after I was there, sometime after I was raped (that's sort of a timepoint for me), she was into decorating and bought a new set of cherrywood (or mahogony?) furniture, computer, clothes, and went to college herself. Maybe she was working for Laura and Scott Schnitzer already and that's how she had the money because all of a sudden she either was working for them or got it from college and she was serioiusly decorating! She did a great job, in warm colors. She had this huge new bed, Queen sized. Or maybe King sized, it was huge and then a huge wardrobe, and a desk? and had this sort of redwood color (cherry or mahog but I think it was cherry) against warm walls and then she'd dress down in clothes for her cat "Lover" (or Sam) because he shed so much. She had these v-neck smocks out of nurse material and wore this or sweats when she got home to pet the cat. In my room it was a bed and all books and I bought bookshelves for my books. I'd sold many of them but still had enough to fill up a ceiling to floor bookshelf and then arranged them to the sides as well. I once had something disappear from my room but I don't remember what now (at least not now) and I think I had thought maybe it was a maintenance guy or someone bc people came in to do work now and then. And then I was living with Sharon. I was introduced to Christa Schneider while I still lived at Halea's I think. I don't even know if they knew of eachother but never heard they did. All of Christa's friends were from Lake Oswego high and that's where Halea went to h.s. so they probably know some of the same people.

Maybe, since I suffered through all of the migraines at that house, if someone who knew Halea told Christa, that's how she knew and why she commented and asked how it was possible I made it through college. I didn't tell her about my migraines, she brought it up and said, when I announced I'd gotten through it and with B's and A's, she stopped and was clearly shocked and asked all these questions to confirm I had really done it. Then she was silent.

I was in so much pain, I laid in bed for days and brought in a rock from outside to put my head on. I kept trying to push in the back of my head to numb it or stop the flow of blood or constrict something and I couldn't push hard enough. The triptans didn't work. Why? bc it wasn't a natural migraine is my opinion. It was being triggered by something else. So I went outside and got a smooth rock and then laid on it and pushed it as hard as I could, into my head and the blood vessels. I laid like this for days. Then I was fine and then in the middle of the night, I would have another triggered and suffer for days. I then bought super strong peppermint and lavendar oil to help with my nausea from the severity of untreated pain and in the middle of the night, when someone would trigger one of the migraines, I would get up, go to the bathroom and keep the lights off and fill the bathtub half full of scalding hot water. Then I put my feet in, hoping the heat and pain to my feet would force blood down from my head to my feet and help with the head pain. And I filled the tub with these oils. When I later found tigerbalm it was even better. But the suffering was tremendous and extreme and that's me talking about suffering then, while I am still being tortured (in other ways). I know Halea and her mom Catherine heard me and witnessed it because my room was inbetween their rooms down a hall. Then Terrie had the downstairs to herself and there was a garage, so I don't think Terri knew about the late night trips to the bathroom but I would stay there, in the dark, for hours, praying. Sometimes not even praying because it was too painful. When I finally got a prescription for Vicodin, after trying other things, it was the first time I ever felt enough relief to then, exhausted, sleep and recover. I felt sort of nauseous still, but it helped a little. I had lights turned off, was breathing shallowly because it hurt to move or breath much, and it was this rock, oils, and scalding water and that's all I had until I had Vicodin. And narcotics for pain are a blessing from God. I have never abused them. I tried Sumatriptan and other triptans and they kind of dulled the pain or altered it but it was still there. Someone, or some group, was using equipment or technology that created a sudden rapid expansion in the head of blood vessels. It was always one-sided, like migraine. When I had them so much, later doctors thought they were clusters (the worst of all headaches) bc of the severity of pain. But no, they were just migraines that enemies triggered to torture me with and I had no idea because I thought it was some disorder that was natural.

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