Torture Kept Me From Law Library & Lotus Chandelier

Sounds like a great excuse. Really crazy when it's the truth. I was about to write "tortious interference" or something but no, it's torturous interference. I wanted to go to the law library today and couldn't get out of bed basically, because I was exhausted from being tortured the past previous days. Today it wasn't very bad at all, but after these last few days, it wiped me out and made it impossible.

Then, this computer I've been able to use hasn't been operating normally at all so it's created a lot of problems that take up my time and keep me from attending to the actual issues going on.

Before this, at the library, if I ever wrote anything online in my blog, I was being cut off from the computer at whatever point someone (I guess) decided my blog post would be a nice note to end on. For example, I was writing about this flower purse my mother got which resembled flowers I had noticed in an art book which related to chandeliers at buckingham (palace)...I wrote something about how she'd bought it and I didn't think it was like her (my mom) because she didn't need it (like the corncob holders) and someone just thought "I don't need it" was a great way to cut me off and cut off my connection on that note. Which was not the kind of thought I had for writing about my mother or need vs want and that kind of thing...I had more to add, but oh no, someone thought it should end with my blog sounding like some grinch proclamation that my mother didn't "need" or we don't "need" such and such. Sure enough, the next day everything was about "NEED" this and need that.

Just out of context. The chandelier was not actually one that is at Buckingham, it's the Lotus Chandelier and it said it was in the Music Room at the Brighton or something. It's not my favorite thing ever, but it was something I noticed and focused on.

I had been looking at the flower design that wreaths around and thinking exactly what my mother repeated to me the next day as she said she had bought a purse. Then I saw her purse and it matched what I'd been looking at.

For awhile it was a little spooky because my books randomly arranged on my table in a way that looked like some kind of foretold premonition come to life. I can't really describe it, but it was the design of things, falling into place. I didn't intend any of it, or pre-arrange either. So it gave me a lot to think about.

For example, I have this Adele Davis book called "Let's Get Well" and it's sort of cream with turquoise on the cover (paperback). It has this flower design with outlines on the cover but I don't see it as a flower really. One night I burned a little white candle and then decided to blow it out and randomly set it to the side, where this book happened to be. I realized all of a sudden, this little white light was in the center of the turquoise seal on this book and looked like a water lily. Underneath it were the waves and ripples from the lily pad.

It was nothing I created or intended, it just happened and then I thought, "That is so weird." It was as if this book always intended as a foundation for this design. But it's just my artistic notion.

We didn't have this book when I was growing up, my mother had a different Adele Davis book: "Let's Eat Right To Keep Fit." I just happened to take this one paperback from a stack of give-away books at a homeless shelter in TN because it reminded me of my family and then it smelled like some of my books bc, I think, it has the acid paper (not the acid-free kind) which gives off a certain scent after a long time (sometimes, some of them do, in certain conditions). I always had a thing for smelling my books. The smell of a brand new book, that paper smell...

The first thing I did when my Dad finally produced a passport for me to see, was I smelled it and declared: "This is hot off the press." I said it made me think it was an FBI attempt to hastily put together a passport to replace the one they took, to try to prove to me my parents are not held hostage and have passports and can leave. So anyway, I smell things now and then, to figure things out.

Then, it went from these pink egg candles and white lily likes, to one day, I walked into my house and noticed this math book that I had opened was pointing in a v straight to another v that had the conjecture of this Davis book and a Romeo & Juliet book featuring a photo of one hand over another hand. It's from one of my math books.

I have a correction to make too...I said all of the books have mistakes and typos but actually, I haven't found one in this one yet, the one with a piano on it. There is probably something there, but so far, all of the math books, high to low, have a dozen typos but this one doesn't (to credit the editor where credit is due).

I guess you had to see it, but it was spooky because I had left this math book opened to a page about lasers and it showed this woman who looked like either Diana or Sarah (a Davis girl) from the 80s or something, next to this man and looking into something. It almost looked like looking into a jewelry case but then the laser created this v and the v on the page matched the way the books above were laid out, of the water lily candle on the one book, intersecting with the R&J book with hand over hand and then over a couple of green glasses (tinted green and/or clear against green background) from a glass art book.

It deserved a photo but I had no way to photograph.

It was, again, something that looked almost predestined by design, and yet it was absolutely random placement with no thought or intention by me.

Other things in books that I've noticed...just, in my opinion, incorrect assumptions...from the holocaust IBM book, the author claims a census was against jewish tradition or law because it was letting people know where you are--being counted, and that in the scriptures, it had displeased God for this reason. However, I have read the same scripture and it wasn't the discovery ability for the enemy that displeased God but the lack of faith. It was the idea that someone was told by God to do something and then they wavered and wanted to "count up" and see if it looked like it would work or not. It was lack of faith in the word of God and putting trust in men and in numbers.

That's not to say that the Bible doesn't also speak of "counting the cost" but in this specific example, according to scripture, the reason God didn't like it was because it was a demonstration that this leader did not accept or trust the word of God. Since so many Rabbis and jewish editors reviewed this book, I don't know why they didn't think to correct the author on that point.

Also, found an assumption in the Hagia Sophia that is not accurate. It is a book about the Hagia Sophia In History by Lord Kinross. He writes on p. 57 that someone was ejected from being a ruler and that a patriarch was forced to then ride around on the back of a donkey, and that this was a form of humiliation.

That is possibly an incorrect assumption.

Riding on the back of a donkey was the sign of service to the people for kings and queens. In that time, it was customary for new rulers to ride through on the back of a donkey as a symbol of humility and respect for the people. It was an ancient and historical rite, not a rite of humiliation but of humility when ascending a position of greatness or power. They did ride through on a horse, but on a donkey.

Therefore, the assumption that someone riding on the back of a donkey was punishment or humiliation is not conclusive without a complete understanding of the facts.

This customary rite is also alluded to when Jesus Christ rode the back of a donkey on Palm Sunday. It wasn't for humiliation, it was humility but also an outward show of being a ruler. This then makes it more obvious why some onlookers could have felt aghast and jealous and wanted to ruin him. Having Jesus ride through town on a donkey was as if he had assumed his position as "king of the jews" which he was later mocked for when he was crucified with this sign over his head. Pilate wasn't mocking Jesus when, in court, he asked Jesus, "aren't you the king of the jews?" it wasn't figurative speech--Jews had kings, even under ruling of Rome and other authorities. They had a divided kingdom with Judea and Israel and after Samuel annointed the first king of the Jews, Saul, jews had kings and queens like other countries. Before this, they had a collection of judges and seers. So when Jesus took this rite of going through town on a donkey with people laying out palm branches before him, as they did with kings, he appeared by all outward signs and to Pilate, to be some kind of king. Therefore, he addressed him in court as a king. The pharissees and sadducees were so angry at this validation of kingship, uttered by Pilate, they spat out, "NO! He is NOT a king!" and they did NOT want any kind of document, utterance, or sign surrounding Jesus that he had any kind of earthly (much less spiritual) power or position. So later, it was guards that mocked him and put up this sign anyway, but the religious Jews didn't want it, because it reinforced the idea of Christ as a martyr. Basically, Jesus went from being a king of the people to being mocked and tortured over the idea.

Think of that and the stone over the tomb while listening to the song "They paved paradise, to put up a parking lot." (that sort of makes me laugh--it's a good creative idea though). I don't know what the title of that song is..."You Don't Know What You've Got 'Til It's Gone?"

At any rate, I thought I would share some of these ideas about incorrect assumptions or conclusions or possible half-understandings from published materials.

Context is important. It's what has ruined my case with my son...the deliberate destruction and withholding of evidence that shows context. Anything can sound right, taken out of context, and anything can be used against someone or made to prove a point, out of context. Most people believe whatever they've told to believe, if the smallest amount of seeming evidence supports a conclusion. --Especially if it's coming from an official or authority or someone presumed to be more educated.

Between taking things out of context and torture, how does one have a normal life at all?

My son is being tortured and has been tortured ever since he was taken from me. They did it to my face. They tortured my son and then took him to see me with all the signs of this torture, knowing I had zero control and would feel helpless. These are people who got paid to do this.

This country tortured me, is still torturing my family, and is possibly torturing other children as well, to "get at" someone, or some group and use it for their religious or political reasons.

The longer my son is out of my care, the more damage is done.

I experienced worse torture after having an argument with some of the people with financial aid at Eastern Oregon University. Which is odd, I guess, I mean, does someone in their offices know FBI or mobsters? or are some of them Catholic and is it attributed to religious hate crime connections again? I know that my Uncle Howard died after the first round with them, in September 2011.

At the same time that I've tried to straighten out some odd loan holding problems that continue to come up, I have been ignored by the same SSI disability people where I would get healthcare insurance to cover cost of biopsy for tumors and/or cysts that suddenly appeared and were confirmed (and doubled) in CT scans.

I left an emergency phone call to this woman with SSI when I am trying to deal with legal matters involving my son, and she just flat-out ignored me for weeks, preventing me from getting urgent healthcare.

At the same time, my laptop was shut down and ruined, leaving me with zero ability to do anything legally for this case involving my son when it's at the last minute, last hour, and they have used friends in government to block me from money, work, housing, and then tortured me for years. I finally tried to make a complaint to the UN and my entire computer was ruined and we were all tortured worse.

Then, after over a month, I am able to use this other computer and nothing works on it correctly and all it's been, is a disaster after another with whoever is behind the operating system. It kept disconnecting me when I had a connection, refused to open pages I needed, and then, for example, I tried to system restore to an earlier date and it said it refused to do this and said there was an unspecified error of (0x8000ffff). The time has not stayed the same, going to Mountain Time ("-8 hours" it said) instead of the PST I had to reset it to. It's just obnoxious stuff.

Reminds me of when I first had my desktop computer that supposedly couldn't be hacked so they tortured me and my son to facilitate their illegal hacking by extending radio waves to my house to make it easier for them to jump on. They did other things as well. We were tortured, my son and I, and only when I fled did it stop and did people realize I wasn't crazy and I was sounding normal bc I was not tortured anymore.

For those who didn't know what to think, there is no blame. How can those in Washington D.C. be blameless?

They knew we were tortured, threw us a buoy for a few months, and then dumped us back into the same torture, knowing all along what was happening.

I read from a few passages in scripture tonight. One was from the New Testament, where Jesus says, you hypocrites, you were blind but since you didn't see and didn't know, you were not guilty. However, now that you see (and therefore know), you are not blameless and your guilt remains.