Sad Vibe

I got a little down this afternoon, or the energy felt sad I guess, at around 3-5 P.M. I think it's 5 P.M. now. Something left, or went wrong, or someone I love is down or my son isn't okay or he's feeling a little bit sad, or I did something wrong and somehow my subconscious knows it. Oh, and I feel bad about my argument with my mother. I also called about apartment options and found out some new news so I have to go in today and fill out apps, but it appears it's not possible to have a child in a studio, by state law, and yet I don't know if my son might be transfered into my care within 6 months, or at least the process initiated. If so, a one-bedroom is more practical. If not, a studio is because it would be less expensive. So I called CPS to ask about approximate timing and they didn't know. I felt fine arguing with my mother this morning but this evening I felt bad when I called the number. But I was feeling low anyway. I feel like someone is crying or sobbing. It's 5:13 p.m. PST.

I also saw pizza at about 4 and then went back to the place where I'm staying, and voila, pizza. One piece left for me. I sometimes wonder what the heck is wrong with my brain. How did I know pizza was in my midst?

5:48 p.m. Everything is okay. I feel better. I called about my son and he was fine and I could hear him in the background, sounding happy. After I heard this though, I was still feeling the sad vibe. I felt glad it wasn't my son, but something else was sad. Then, it lifted, around 5:30-35 or so. Just feels peaceful now, a little better. But I think it's probably that the facts about my son settled in. I asked if he'd been crying 15 minutes earlier or if anything was wrong and they said no.