Wenatchee (UPDATED)

Saving this one for a post about Wenatchee "progress" in wanting to cooperate with me or be a community that "builds bridges (river to river no less)".

I think if anyone has tried, and tried, and tried again, it is probably me. I am not exaggerating, even as I am total flawed, the treatment and shutting out here, and mockery or pulling out of the rug over and over, is something I do not believe I will overcome by any kind of good deed. It doesn't matter how good I am, or how badly my son needs me. Most of the people around here have had nothing better to do than to ostrasize me, harass me, and try to make me feel, in every way, that they are superior and I am inadequate.

UPDATE:

No, that was wrong of me to write. It's not true. There have been many supportive people. So I'm sorry. But some individuals just want to be apples that spoil the barrel or ruin my chances of making ends meet with anyone here. I don't even know if half the people here get the facts about me straight or not, bc I don't know what they're told.

I was at the Applewood bc this guy was kind enough to offer to make dinner for me and pay for me and then the singer/guitarist comes in and specifically turns his back to me the whole time. I was seated next to the main singer, who then was only one foot from me, and he made sure his back was to me and everyone else the whole time. He faced a wall basically. It wasn't normal and even the main bartenders knew bc they asked if maybe he could turn around or something.

So the music was nice, but it was like me and this guy with his back to me up on the upper level where everyone could see, and I just thought about all my honest attempts to get somewhere with housing and basic work and how others do just fine here, and after 2 glasses of wine right away, I started to cry, in public. I began to cry at the Applewood.

So there I am, on my actually THIRD glass of wine, and I'm trying my best not to cry but I'm crying anyway, and then I got up to get my things and knocked over my ice water. Then, I grabbed my take out and accidentally knocked over the rest of the glass of my reisling. I knocked over two glasses in a row, which broke on the floor, and my eyes were clouded with tears so I just wanted to get out of there.

I didn't want people to see me and mock me and maybe they weren't, but I don't know what it is here, and I don't get it.

I don't know why some people want everyone else to just push me down, but I know others are supportive yet they never approach me. So I'm just on the outside the whole time. I mean, some people really do try, but a lot of others get very odd propaganda about me.

It shouldn't be a big deal. I had to fix this post because it was wrong of me to just write that the whole town isn't supportive bc this isn't true. It really is not true. It's that I don't understand a lot of things and SOME people go out of their way to make me feel bad or keep me down.

I could give better details, so it's not just an opinion and maybe I will later, but for now, I just wanted to clear up the first part of my post.

I had all three glasses of wine within an hour or so, so, it was a little too much and is probably why I actually started to cry, which isn't typical for me. I just felt isolated and ostrasized.

I was trying to be sociable and sort of got the passive aggressive treatment.

But who knows. Is turning ones back on someone, so obviously, is that a GOOD thing here? for all I know, because I don't get this town at ALL, is that this is actually a sign of approval....???!!!///???? I don't THINK so, but I don't get anything. I just know it was done deliberately and it wasn't pleasant. The songs were beautiful, but it seemed to me that there was more of a message in the back to me, just inches away from my own nose.

Who knows.

Is this one of those, "Tomorrow is a new day" things?

I don't know.

I felt bad when I left.