Being Different

Hello Little Bear,

Sometimes this site is not about you, but it is still for you. If ever I'm gone or you can't remember what I thought about a particular matter, you will have this. This blog is about you, in detail, which you and I can reference later, and it is also about me and my thoughts. Some things I don't write here, but write privately, in a separate diary that isn't online, and you will have access to this in the future. This is the book, and that other diary, is the key. You will see what I mean.

About Britney Spears, I've never been a fan, and never owned one CD. But because she's in the spotlight, she helps me to focus on what the status of women is. Along with other women who have that attention. I think of these women as Woman, larger than life. It's not a preoccupation with fame and fortune for me, but on the symbolism. How the media and society treats these women gives insights into how women, in general, are viewed.

It wasn't that long ago that women were denied the right to vote or to hold property apart from husbands. In some countries, only the man can divorce the woman, and, in a trial for rape, there must be several male "witnesses". While there are now laws about the equal rights of women to property, vote, and divorce, there are unwritten rules about the place of women in society, and what is the norm, acceptable, and appropriate for women is often different from the allowances given to men. This is what I notice, and like to focus on, because these ideas permeate the lives of women everyday in relationships, custody matters, the justice system...everything.

It is my belief that Britney Spears was forced into rehab, and she claims the same, when she had no problems with alcoholism or drug addiction. I'm not saying she's never tried anything, but tried and addicted are two different things. People have wanted to put a label on her "behavior" to them more comfortable. They don't understand, and a label will help. Her? Them. If it's not drugs and alcohol, they want to pin her with a psychological diagnosis, like Post-Partum Depression. And when they still don't understand, the generalized "erratic", "troubled", and "out-of-control" adjectives help.

It really makes you wonder how dull a woman needs to be, to be considered "normal".

Women really get the worst of it. But then, anyone who stands out in the least way as being different, is suspect. In the movie, And Justice For All, this guy shaves his head bald and it's a one sign he's going nuts. You see, he's a lawyer-to-be and lawyers are stable people right? A somewhat conservative lot with their noses in the books. The guy doesn't have the excuse of being a rock star. He's a lawyer and is expected to fit the part (which means you can be a drug-dealer and be an alcoholic but shouldn't ever shave your head). Brad Pitt, sporting a new bleached yellow do, was mocked by his ex as trying to copy "Billy Idol". She said, "Bill Idol wants his look back". Being different, especially trying something new after being one way most of your life, will raise eyebrows--but no one ever learned more about themself and life, or grew, or acquired wisdom, or was ever free, in a self-imposed straight-jacket. If you choose to be free, someone else will try to keep you down.

I think what it comes down to is that most people expect others to fit a certain stereotype. If you're multidimensional, to them, it looks like instability.

My high school boyfriend told me I was the most complicated woman he'd ever met. He said other women were more predictable. I take that as a compliment, to this day.