Misc. on Development

Hello Little Bear,

Diapers. It's a big deal when you go through so many! I decided to see if bladder pads (for adults) fitted into your cloth underpants, were cheaper and worked. They work, but they're not cheaper. So I went back to diapers with the plan to use cloth when I'm up to handwashing about 12 times a day, and accidents (I tell you, I think it's a better idea to ask the landlord for new carpet in the Spring. We were told we'd get carpet, the color of our choice (I want deep red) this Fall, but I may hold off, for practical reasons.). So I just shrugged it all off and decided you'll let me know, and whaddya know?! when the pressure if off, you're a champ! Yesterday you saw me sitting as I told you what I was doing, and you crouched down too, and then patted your little toilet. I thought the minute I got your diaper off and set you down, you'd arch your back to get off again, but...Nope. You just sat there, and smiled at me. And, as I had the dresser mirror down on the floor by the toilet, you looked at yourself in the mirror and smiled. Big boy! You wanted to be on the potty all by yourself, of your own will and accord. So, if this continues, we've got the green light again.

You suddenly seem so big to me. You've matured the last few days--that's how it seems! You have the attention span for watching full-length movies...up to an hour and a half. Yesterday, I popped in The Land Before Time to see what it was about. I took it out when it got scary. I am going to have to prescreen before you see a minute of that stuff. I can't belive what is allowed in G-rated movies. So violent!!! I think there should be a new rating system for kids. "G" for age 7 and up, and a pre-G, or before-G, for ages 4-7, and then a beginners rating for up to age 3. Would little boys be pretend-fighting with guns and weapons so young if they didn't see violence on T.V. or in movies and cartoons? I don't think so. They wouldn't even know what a gun was for. Movies that are funny or very gentle, or which show a little natural anger or sadness and how to resolve it, should be the mainstay until kids are 7. When they're 7, then maybe a scene of fighting and killing and the death of the mother (as is shown in Land Before Time) is something to discuss as a fact of life.

I babysat for one family that asked me to stop Bambi at the scary scene of the forest fire and death of Bambi's mother. I thought that was so wise. Their kids were 2 and 4 (or 5?). This mother was also one of few I've babysat for that had a bookcase full of books about child development and parenting. That was Laura Rose. She was quite devoted.

Now that I'm a mother myself, I'm shocked by what passes as children's entertainment. I have babysat for other families who allowed their children to watch more adult movies (in one case, a 7 yr. old was allowed to watch, and loved, "Dick Tracey", in another case, the two girls, ages 5 and 9, were allowed to watch horror movies with their mother and grandmother, such as "Poltergeist" and "Stigmata"). The mother who allowed her girls to watch horror movies was a powerful business executive (I worked as her PT nanny) who was exceptionally gifted and smart (and, unfortunately, a pathological liar).

So, I suppose, if someone as intelligent as this last mother I mentioned, ignored ratings, what good would it do. It would be helpful to someone like me, though, who wanted a better idea of what we were getting into if we were looking at movies to rent.

Lately, you've wanted to help with chores, even with pushing the shopping cart at the store. You won't even run off if I get you out of the cart, because you want to push it for me. The other day, when we were at a clinic, I asked if we could borrow a wheelchair and I let you push me, which you thought was great fun, and then I pushed you around in it.

You are independant but then you want to be my baby. If I pay attention to another baby or child, you are later imitating their unique expressions or vocalizations. Recently, you drank from a cup by yourself, but although you've known how to do this for months, you don't WANT to. You want me to hold the cup for you, and your spoon sometimes, and almost always, your bottle. Most of the time, you refuse to eat or drink unless I'm feeding you partly. You also want to be close to me at bedtime, lying down beside you, with your hand curled around my finger. If I leave to do other things, you usually awaken at some point and can't go to sleep without me. But you sleep well and are a sound sleeper too. You never fuss at bedtime, ever. I never put you down, for a nap or for bed, until it's obvious you're tired. We don't have a set bedtime, which I think is unnatural. Sometimes you need more rest, and if you've had a longer nap, you're not tired until later. So we play it by ear. Pretty much, though, you rise with the sun and are ready for bed after it is dark.

You have a serious personality, for example, if I give you a ride in the wheelbarrow, you don't even look like you're having fun, until I take you out and then you demand to go back in! You are more serious, but you're also content and happy, and easygoing. When you get mad though, boy do you screeeeamm! You have lungs like no other.

A couple of days ago you wanted me to hold you up to the paintings you made, which I have on our walls. You touched the dried paint and especially the dried blobs. This morning, when we were in the tub, you laughed out loud everytime I made a "blub-blub-blub" noise while we watched the bubbles of air escaping from a toy with a small hole in it. We take our baths together. I tried giving you one on your own, and you won't have it and want out. If I'm there with you, you relax and have fun. We rearrange little fishies that stick to the walls, empty and fill containers, see what floats, read bath books, and wash hair.

You pull my hand or pants or skirt when you want me to go somewhere with you.

I think we should get a hamster for you, maybe for Christmas. I just read that dwarf ones don't stink. Or maybe a lizard. I read they're good small pets (where you can't have a dog or cat). A hamster would be soft to hold...but then I guess a lizard would just be a different texture. Will have to find out more about them. I had a friend once who had a regular "animal house". She had multiple dogs and cats, and a bunny running freely throughout a tiny little apartment. The last time I saw her, though, I didn't see any pets--just orchids.