Spies Like Us: Notes from the Nanny

We are in your bedroom. We know where the vaults are hidden, we hear the arguments, we learn gossip about you from your own best friends and family, we know your quirks and your prejudices, strengths and weaknesses, and if anyone ever had access to "the dirt", we do. We're your nanny. Your "help".

The best part, is that because of our position, we are assumed to be dull and unobservant. You want us to be seen and not heard--to disappear into the wallpaper, and we do. But sometimes, the most innocent, wide-eyed, seeming air-headed valleygirl, or subservient immigrant worker, is taking notes, and happens to be...quite shockingly...articulate.

I got into the nanny business because I loved kids and wanted practice before being a mom myself. I was also contemplating a career in elementary ed. (before I talked to a bunch of relatives who are teachers and said-no-way-would-they-do-that-again). I was, for a very long time, exceedingly naive, timid, and subservient. Then there was a breaking point, which I'll get into on another topic. In the meantime, I saw many things happen that most people don't get to see, and had an insider sort of experience into a few families, and became the confidant of many fellow nannies and other household employees.

After my first experience as a nanny, in 1993, The New York Times ran an article about the dangers of nannies. This was around the time the movie, "The Hand That Rocks the Cradle" came out. I was so upset with it I almost wrote a letter to the editor. Based on my meager experiences and the accounts of other nannies I talked to, nannies needed a "union" for protection from abuse and exploitation by employers. Fear of retribution keeps the help "in line".

Years later, after a few more stints as the household help (working not only as a nanny, but in another position as personal assistant/housekeeper), I realized I had acquired a vast storage of knowledge about individuals, and a particular position, that otherwise could not have been attained had I accepted this kind of work. I just did my job, then, and wrote in a diary, and kept close observations out of pure personal interest. Now, however, I realize the potential that is there, as a nanny, or houseworker, for undercover investigation.

It is the perfect undercover job. You see movies where the maintence man is tapping lines, but you don't often see any about the nanny in a long-term role as a spy.

I was a very honest (still am) and conscientous worker, but if someone wanted to, they could learn about security systems, vault locations, storage of private papers, and they also have access to tapping or bugging a place, and the advantage of being eyes and ears. Furthermore, habits, mannerisms, language, preferences, personality, health matters (what is in the bathroom cabinet and on the nightstand) and other general knowledge about the employer is easily obtained. All the while, you are expected NOT to discuss your own life (perfect!) and to learn about theirs.

I never thought about this until, perhaps, a couple years ago. For at least a decade, I was silenced by the threat of what those who have more power and money could do to me if I spoke up about some things. But I was witness to some important things, and at some point, you weigh social responsibility against personal gain.

I have heard of some excellent employers of household help. I know they're out there. But I know more about the other side.

As I consider what to write about this, I contemplate, in the meantime, how many undercover agents from any intelligence agency have utilized the position of domestic worker in a sting.