American Art Deco (& other things): landmines and atom bombs

I had to make so many separate requests for my medical records I was just back and forth, and while being tortured too.

I am wearing a shirt from Cambodia today because my body, "Cam's body" is a walking landmine. Which is almost like being a walking atom bomb, isn't it?

I was crying on the phone to my parents the other night, saying that what is being done to me, and the use of metal in my body to inflict torture, is no different from being like a field that was had a landmine planted in it, and then the person's responsible don't want to do anything but profit from it, rather than be accountable and remove the harm.

My computer is not working at all, and I was just being tortured and then the UN is sending confusing signals, so I have done what I can these last few days, to walk up and down a hill to the hospital and back just to fill out multiple requests for my records.

A couple of days ago I picked up math books from a school, but I am being tortured while I attempt to study. I was studying the wrong book too, and it was so slow, that I was slow--a pre-algebra one. So I went to the Algebra I book and it's much, much, better and more fluid, which then sped up my own time, even though I was still tortured, but there is a problem with the answer key in the back. I sent a note today, to ask if there is a teacher's copy key.

Also! there are 2 different books on homeopathic medicines and they contradict each other at one part. It can't be both, there is only one answer, so I have to contrast and find out which one is right for this particular section.

Finally, over a week ago, before I even got these math books, I found a scripture verse missing from one of my Bibles. It's not that big of a deal, but the only way you knew, is if you read the footnotes to confirm something is missing. I happened to be reading the footnotes to scripture and it was verse 11 that was not there. The footnote is there, for the verse, but not the verse.

Who removes a verse from a Holy Bible and then leaves the footnote?

I guess mistakes happen but there are so many bad editors and proof-readers.

I had this epiphany, while my parents were in Yuma, AZ, that, while gathering my records, I was like a landmine. And then I had this fusion thought of how it's like my shirt from Cambodia, and how Cam-body is planted with things the government is using to create harm and then actually refuses to take it out and do something, and is making money off of me instead. While I suffer.
I don't know why, but I started sobbing when I was saying this, leaving a message on their voice-mail.

Then I also found out, just yesterday, that the first atomic bomb was made in the U.S. and named "Trinity". Which is a discovery I made on the same day that I had a key in my pocket with a tri-sign on it.

In addition to coming to discoveries about missing notes and verses and mistakes, and having to compare and contrast things, I have so many horrible things happening and then some very good things happening at the same time.

I still have verses and things from scripture coming to me, in very strange coincidental timing. I mean, even things I do. I will do something and then open to my Bible or pray and something will come to me that matches what I did before and I wasn't planning to do. A lot of it is just coincidence, but I think for me it is helping to affirm more, or lay emphasis on what I read. So it helps as a reinforcement, like "trust" is with "truth".

After getting my math books I wanted to round out my self-education and loaded up with some books. One of them, I don't know why I picked it out, but it was an American book to hand-weaving. I don't do hand-weaving and I've never been interested except for when I was a kid, I wove pot holders on a loom for my parents, out of orange, white, and green and a little yellow. That was one of them but I made more and gave them as gifts. I didn't have this in mind at all when I took the book out, because I was more interesting in paintings and glass art, but I went to it, and when I opened it up, it said:

"Combine Trust With Truth".

It was a heraldy emblem from an ancient English hand-weavers' guild.

I have my arrow of "truth", and my graphic design arrow I made for this word "Truth" long ago, in 1998, and then this strange arrow rock coming into my house from my shoe, literally, and thought, what is this "trust"?

Trust.

So I brought in my symbol of "trust" to my house last night when I first picked up this book and the woman said, "Doing some weaving?" and I said, "No, I had thought it would be a good adjunctive to my math studies." Which is true. I first saw the layout and thought, this might complement my algebra studies, so I decided to get it and then turned again, and BAM, right there.

Combine Trust With Truth.

Last night I listened to classical music, some Christian music, and made some notes, while looking at art books and doing some algebra.

I especially enjoyed the American Art Deco book, by Eva Weber. I went through this one very slowly, studying all the detail, and just, in awe. I had done some art studies of Art Nouveau and Art Deco back in the mid-late 90s when I found it, but I was revived last night, looking at this again. I also looked through some pre-raphaelite works by Rossetti and Waterhouse, which I had liked when I was younger. I still do like a lot of it, some of it is fantastic, for the color and imagery, but I am more into art deco/nouveau. I will be looking through them more so I didn't return them though I've gone through them already. I also got 2 books on glass, one on world glass art and one by felice mehlman. Some of it is horrible, some of the glass work is tolerable, and some of it is gorgeous. My tastes in glass art are particular.

Which then had me wondering what happened to all of my mother's "amber-ware". My mother had this enormous collection of glass, and since we moved to Sherwood, Oregon, at some point, it disappeared and I've not seen it.

She had amber glass, that was irridescent, like Tiffany's glass. A huge collection. Then she was also collecting, in Moses Lake, WA, some rose-colored pieces of glass.

Our house in Moses Lake, WA, which we moved from in 1990, had pink lace curtains at the window, antique furniture with copper-clad tacks to lock in the good upholstery, and then a rust colored carpet which made the rose accents not as "prissy". So to go with it, there was a HUGE collection of this irridescent amber glass, and it was all out for display. She had over 100 pieces and it wasn't cheap--it was an antique collection. Granny, Granny Baird, first had the amber glass, and then my mother got into it.

All of a sudden, it's just "gone"?

Suddenly, it was "fiesta" ware. I think that's what it is, this green glass and other glass she collects, along with my Aunt Holly. I like it as well, but where is her huge and expensive collection of amber and rose glass?

It was called "carnival glass", colloquially.

Did someone steal this from my family?

I found it and thought about it after first seeing the lotus vase by Tiffany.

I remembered it when I was looking at the glass book, and saw the irridescent pieces made by Tiffanys. It was the same thing. Higher quality, but that was the kind of glass collection. So this is what sparked my memory last night, of my mother's glass collection. I first looked at the glass book, by Equinox, Oxford press. Then I looked at the World Glass book by George Savage.

While I thought about these things, I also noticed this painting by Rosetti, I think, called "the empty purse", pink and red colors and other things and then this morning I found out that in addition to a few other things my parents bought in Mexico, she bought a purse with a flower embroidered on it. She said it was gaudy but she liked it.

I thought, yeah. Someone emptied my parent's pockets.

This stealing from my family has been going on for too long. I even first noticed my own jewelry and clothing being stolen from me after 1990, when we moved to Sherwood, Oregon. That was when I was wearing the skirt that had been my mother's in the 70s too, between 1990-1993 (I graduated from high school in 1993)--the one Kate Middleton is later photographed wearing a replica of?

I don't know. It's not normal. I had shirts and jewelry that had been my mother's in the 70s stolen from me, starting then. The next horrific events began when I had to sue to protect my good name and reputation. That's when it got very bad, but there were a few things happening earlier. After I was made Homecoming Queen, approximately, in 1992, or people imagined I was with a boyfriend or had offended his church by not wanting to be with a catholic, this is when they were stealing from me, but probably all groups did.

I got a key box the other day, that has a magnet on the back which looks just like the round shapes on the Art Deco Chrystler building. It's like a lip smuckers box, which slides at the tin top, like my lipglosses from grad school. On the back of it is a magnet that I thought, that matches this building and the little hospital magnets showing up in my CT radiology scans.

At the start of that morning I opened to Prov. 8, about Wisdom. I read the entire thing and just picked up some books, among them Hagia Sophia and then noticed the wisdom and knowledge art from the Art Deco book. I didn't know it would be in the book, but it was and thought it was nice to see.

This Jefferson Radio DJ, who is from New York I believe, named Bill McLaughlin, is somewhat sort of offensive, but he's had a few nice music selections. I turned to the station at Romeo & Juliet which is also what I got at the library. It was "Romeo & Juliet" with Suzanne Murphy and "Nazi, nazee? Yermi?" Then I turned it and listened to christian music. I heard a christian song about sleeper's awake which I sang to as I shot my turquoise rubberband out into the grass.

I was reading with a candle lit, and by lamp at my window, outside on my porch, with a heater at my feet, and making notes, drinking cocoa and having dinner. I felt like being outdoors. So I took my stereo out there too and listened to music while reading.

As soon as I shot out one turquoise band, I rediscovered a maroon band. There were other interesting synchronicities. A LOT of them, actually. I was thinking of David and Goliath when I shot it out into the night.

Then I opened my Bible at random and it was with Elijah saying, "Shoot your arrow!" and the archer shoots his arrow out into the night.

I am not kidding. Right to the spot, right after I shot out a rubberband like a sling-shot, into the night. Instead of one full circle from my finger to my other finger, I twisted it into a figure 8 and shot. I was thinking of my son, how I did this with him in our visits.

I just went to the counter to request another pass and said, "Is it okay to have another? I've used one time but..." and she gave me a pass for more time. (just happened at 3:51 p.m.)

So, many many things with doing something, or something to mind, and then all of a sudden, something happening from scripture.

I also directly (not randomly) turned to Psalm 1, after looking up another one. This one man had just named a composer of William Lawes and then I decided to look up, not at random, but on my own iniative, Psalm 1, which is about studying the law.

Before this however, there was the sleeper's awake song from christian music and then I changed it and it was "Annie Lauree"--a Scot's tune, being sung by the King Singers. After this, was another rendition of "sleepers awake" and it was from Bach Cantata #140, by Philip Bride (french instrumental).

I heard both.

There was this German piece I heard and loved, from Berlin symphony, late romantic, partino in E major (Bach) 1869, Hunts (huntz) Fitzner. With Max Stroop. Also, more Tchai, and then there were other pieces I wrote down and will write about later.

But it was after the christian music that I knew "He who dwells in the shadow of the Most High..." and I was looking this up (Psalm 91) and then knew to look up Psalm 1, and that followed William Lawes' piece and then I heard knew to look up Psalm 91 and did. Then, I prayed and closed my eyes and asked God to show me what to find and I landed, at random, on Psalm 91. The first time, I tried to find it. The second time, it found me.

The other thing with scripture, today, was that after my mother and I spoke, she said they were going to have more fig shakes today and I came across, at random, a verse about figs. This morning, late morning, I looked at random and found Zechariah 9:14-17 and then read further, right after I had set a candle into a container for enclosure which made me think about the section of jewels in the crown, in a religious sense.

So, as I was saying, sort of affirmative scripture things

Right after this, I turned at random to I King 10 about Queen of Sheba, and then Hebrews 2:5-18 and how he knows our suffering, and then "Figs!" I answered, "The good ones are very good." from Jeremiah 24:3-1. Then 2 Chron. 19:1-2 "Why help the wicked?" right after I had thought this aloud, why do they get help?

I also found many passages about dark cloud, and God in the dark cloud, which shadows us, and some temple stuff from last night. I wrote next to it, "Why, I'm a little black cloud!" and smiled thinking of my son.