I guess the FBI/DOJ has decided to do whatever they want to my computer now. They never responded to my request to have someone investigate computer crimes interferring with federal online activities but I didn't realize then that some of the problem was federal to begin with.
Today they deleted parts of my blogpost and changed the titles on photos I had saved, forcing me to re-enter the photos and with different titles on the photos.
Then I was doing Bible exegesis on I Kings and they first froze my screen and when I got back to the site I was on, then they made all of my pages to internet disappear even though I didn't press any buttons and it wasn't disconnected. So I was forced to re-enter the same search and then Google wouldn't pull up the same pages I had been on.
So basically, governmental interference with my freedom of religion and it's not the first time either.
They just did it again. I had a second tab opened to the search for exegesis on I Kings and now it's gone again.
I was on a good site with several links to studies on this book and now I can't find it because Google isn't putting it up when I type in the same request "I Kings exegesis". It was a gray screen and had little cobalt blue squares on it with links.
First I was on a site that said something about logos. I first got a yellow and green book that was published in 1950 that said: I Kings. It was a book review. So I switched out of that and next I was on a site with 3 people with their arms raised up in the air. It was a drawing/graphic of head with arms raised up and on the left side. Then from there it was a gray page sort of crinkly background and then 2 blue squares on either side, on to the left and one to the right, before the links to the scholars for exegesis. And I had clicked on the first two links and then it disappeared and I was obstructed from my Bible study.
The first link was for a Bible community group or something and then I got to soniclight and it had a black and white lighthouse at the top. I clicked on the link there for I Kings and that's when someone kept interfering and removed everything.
I am tired of this.
I can't find it yet. I'm going through internet files now.
I was going to look up I Kings 2.
It's been on my mind for about 2 days? Not Saturday, but possibly Friday. Thursday or Friday and I think it was Friday. I knelt and prayed and asked God for some people to believe that I am not lying about having been raped. I've been mocked over all kinds of things. So I prayed this and then asked God to please show me something in the Bible that might reflect on this and I prayed for awhile first and then opened up my Bible and fell on I Kings 2. Which didn't make any sense to me, regarding rape, because what my eyes came upon was the section where this one guy is trying to make himself king over the one that was supposed to be king. It was where Adjon-something, Adonijah goes to Bathsheba and says please give me the Shummalite as my wife, so Bathsheba goes to her son king Solomon to request this for him, and then Solomon becomes outraged and says how dare he ask for her as his wife! he's trying to usurp me!
So I read this and thought, "What does this have to do with my being raped?"
And I had it in my mind to look it up and do an exegesis on it to understand the section better. So that's what I was trying to find.
And someone kept trying to keep me from doing this. And then, just now, I was looking up I Kings and they totally tried to redirect my page to Matthew which has nothing to do with this.
I pages and sites I selected and clicked on was one through biblia.com and got an olive green book with bright yellow letters for the title "I KINGS" published 1950. Then I clicked on one that took me to bible.org (the site with figure of 3 people in blue with arms lifted up and a "clean hands, pure heart" flower thing) for I Kings and it was just this little blurb there for I Kings 2. So then I found a good one, where it had links to scholars I know are good, like Chuck Smith, and others and that was the gray one with the two square blue diamond things one to right and one to left framing text and that's the one I need, because it has the list of links. So I had clicked on the first couple of one and then it quit on me when I got to soniclight with the black and white lighthouse. I clicked on I Kings and the screen froze. So I tried to click back to the blue square-gray site and it wouldn't let me and then Google has hidden it ever since.
Anyway, I'm tired of people messing around with my laptop and ruining my work and my religious studies, and collaboratively ruining my life. I was going to write about my exegesis later maybe, if I found something important and instead I'm writing about laptop hackers.
I did realize today, that this is close to a section I had read recently in II Kings, about Nathan telling Bathsheba Adjon had become king and go tell King David because it was supposed to go to Solomon.
What I found in response to my prayer about me was I Kings 2. Which is similiar to II Kings on the same subject, but a little different inclusion of history. I still have no idea what it has to do with my being raped or having people believe me about what has been done to me, but that's what I was going to find out.
This morning I turned to 2 different passages and now I can't find either one but looking. One was from Haggathiah's (?) prayer and I read the whole thing and then the other thing was from the New Testament about the new covenant and how the Spirit triumphs over the letter. It's talking about the spirit of the law being written in our hearts, and how this is better than the law that is written down.
Habbakkuk's Prayer! from Habbakkuk 3. And the section about the letter vs spirit of the law that I read is from 2 Corinthians 3. I read at 2 Corinthians 3:4 and then went to the whole chapter since it's short. The letter kills, the spirit gives life.
It was the first thing I read when I woke up and then I wanted to find the I Kings 2 exegesis.
And then got out of bed and dressed in blue jeans and white and cobalt blue. Ate wheat sprouts and soup, green spirulina/kelp/soy lecithin sludge, and had tea.
The book review is from International Critical Commentary and it only came up as saying I Kings. Now it's showing a Kings 1 & 2 but that's not what I got. It showed olive green and bright yellow letters and I Kings. I only mention this bc someone is trying to alter things still. Here it is as "KINGS"
2. Then it was this site with an ad banner at some point for clean heart, clean hands. Regardless, I chose the section for "Solomon", the first one listed. And then I scrolled down to I Kings 2 and read it and it's not exactly exegesis so I moved on.http://bible.org/passage/278/I%20Kings
3. I think someone has tried to remove the next site from the temporary files and I'm not kidding. The link isn't there and it came after this one. I will keep looking but I think it was removed somehow. After I went to the gray and blue site that had links I then went to soniclight and then it froze up. There is all this stuff for godrules.net but that's not the site and I think someone removed the site. I found it. I think I clicked on the God Rules site but I clicked out because it wasn't what I was looking for, for exegesis. So yes, God Rules but I scrolled on, and then here's the one I was talking about--The Bible Commentary Page: http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?hl=en&gbv=2&q=cache:5RWiT9Lsj7gJ:http://home.ctcweb.net/~cochac/library.htm+I+Kings,+exegesis&ct=clnk
So then I was there and went to I Kings and didn't like the first link or the second one (adam clarke) and went to the 3rd one they have listed and it was soniclight. I was on the first of 86 pages by Thomas Constable and then a hacker ruined it.
I wrote down the notes about 20 kings from Judah and 20 from Israel and one woman Athaliah which I didn't know about. This was new to me so I made a note of it to look up. A Queen.
Aha. And it was not 2 Kings that talked about Adonijah that I read about, with regard to Nathan. That was Absalom and I read that in II Samuel 15 a week ago.
So Adonijah is a different story. And what I'm reading is that Abishag, the woman he wanted for wife, was King David's nurse, so this is maybe why Solomon thought he was trying to get ahead, by marrying a nurse that had been for David (their father who had passed away).
Hmmph. Well Dr. Constable's "notes" which he made an entire book out of, are wrong. He mixes up Absalom with Adonijah. Two totally different people. He even writes first how there are two different guys, and then he proceeds to mix them up.
Adonijah, from I Kings 2, doesn't make his request for Abishag while David is living. And he doesn't ask Bathsheba to ask David either. He asks her to ask King Solomon, the man who is already king, for her.
Oh wait, the II Sam is not the one I read. That one is about Absalom but I read the one about Adonijah from II Kings or Chronicles or something. I think Chronicles. In one version he makes himself King before David dies. Adonijah does, in the Chronicles version where Nathan tells Bathsheba. David doesn't kill him I don't think--that's the one about the horn of oil and horns of the alter. Then in this other story, from I Kings, it talks about how later, AFTER King Solomon is on the throne, and David has died, then Adonijah goes to Bathsheba and asks for David's former nurse in marriage. She goes to Solomon and asks for him and Solomon interprets this as an attempt to usurp him indirectly. So then this time he doesn't spare him, he kills Adonijah.
So I guess this Thomas Constable isn't wrong, it's just sort of intermixing two different stories which could be confusing to someone if they don't know the history and how they are different or in different periods of time. But yeah, he's right in general. I just read the first several pages and going to another commentor now. But yes, he's right.
Hmm. Disapppointing. Chuck Smith has it wrong.
The other textbook writer is just confusing to a person who doesn't know the timeframe of events of Adonijah but he really doesn't mix them. Chuck Smith does though. He first talks about Abishag and how Adonijah wants her for his wife and then starts talking about Adonijah making himself king and then having Solomon put on instead. But he is supposedly teaching from I Kings 1-4 and that's not what this is about. I mean, if he's going to talk about Adonijah earlier, that's a different book of the Bible and he should be letting people know that, that he's referring to Chronicles instead of I Kings. They are totally separate.
I really don't like it when anyone starts muddling things.
I listened to part of his audio sermon available through Calvary Chapel in California and it's a disappointment--
Adonijah is one person, but these are two different events and things that occured. And I still have no idea why I had this I Kings section pointed out to me when I was praying to God for something about my being raped.
What does my being raped or wanting God to have others believe me have to do with the story of Adonijah and what was going on?
I am starting to wonder if it's God that has the most accurate version of events as to whether the apple came before the cart or which way around things were supposed to be perhaps. Maybe God is confirming there was a plot to usurp ME. As in, taking something from me but trying to do it in a round-about way. I guess only those it's intended for will know, because that's what I wanted, was something to have others consider, and not just for me to learn more about or understand.
I think I'm going to have to go with the classics. Like Wesley and Spurgeon. Not even there. It's a select sermon from "I Kings" that is about II Chronicles. Going to Tanach. Well I learned something new there. The name Solomon means "his peace". I did not know that. I found it through artscroll tanach. Anyway.
One of the main things I wondered, having nothing to do with me (or putting myself there) is why would Solomon just kill him for asking for a certain wife? and I guess it's that some people felt it was kind of like by assuming the former King's property, one is also laying claim to the throne. Women were viewed sort of like property back then I think. So it was the idea that yes, while some could do something and have it not mean anything for the future, to ruin something or pave the way for something else down the road, somehow the motives and intentions were already known that this was maybe not love, true love, or compassion for her, but rather a way to undermine or weaken the position of the one God chose. Maybe not the one the most people wanted but God had chosen.
UPDATE: I had looked up Althathia next but then disconnected. I found her in a Jewish site and Christian sites and then through 2 Chronicles 24:7, NIV. It said she was a Queen whose followers broke into homes and offered sacred items to Baal. She reigned over Judah.
So think of Judean lands like Italy. North and South. The northern kingdom didn't always get along with the southern one, even though they were all part of the same religion and race. In fact, they killed eachother. Slaughtered eachother sometimes. It was like North and South of the U.S. history. What's the deal with N S stuff anyway? What happened to E and W? You don't hear about the Eastern kingdom and the Western kingdom. Sort of with U.S. but not a lot.
I then cleaned up things around the house and yard. Burned stuff, and dug stuff up and then I was taking some things out of the firepit that wouldn't burn and tossed this bowl out and it broke over the other things--just splintered like bone china. Then I put things to the side that can't burn or won't burn and left them and then I got back and had pasta with sunflower seed puree (over 2 c. sunflower seeds blended to puree with Hx0)and spices because I'm still not eating meat broth and yeast things. I made it like marinara.
I was about to go to town and had a bad feeling about something so I went back and cleaned.
I think I'm on a drug or fumigated though--all I've been doing is cleaning. And I can't focus on anything else. I've been sick and tortured too, and then cleaning is about it.
I eucalyptus spray everything.
Then I opened up my bible to this thing about a pot breaking and thought, that's strange and decided a lot is about faith. Can't explain. Oh! and the other thing with my Bible! I prayed to God to show me something maybe and was thinking how often is it lot? or flipping a coin? because more often I think it's faith and trust. But I sort of thought for this one thing maybe I'd flip a coin and instead I flipped one of those bread clasps and then I thought take without seriousness and then I opened my Bible and it was the blessing from Deuteronomy,--I will make you fruitful and your fields fruitful, and you will be the head not the tail. It was right after I looked up I Kings from artscroll tanach site. Then I thought these things, turned a clasp in my hand and then this from the Bible. I don't know how to describe it...I have so many correlations with what I think or pray and then finding things in the Bible it's really odd. NOT that I apply everything to ME, like it's MY...you know what I mean.
It sounds "schitzo" but it's not when you're around military in secret psi programs and CIA.
So the other weird thing is that I put this conditioner in my hair today and left it in even though it's not a leave in. It's not really "weird" but it was earth, wind, fire or something and I used to have a book as a kid about so many nights of fire, days of rain. I'll have to look it up. And then all these sounds about rain and fire tonight on the radio. I guess I notice it more.
I just tried to upload the photos and they disappeared so I have to do it again. This kind of "disappearance" is normal, not having to do with Air Force experiments.
I know without any shadow of doubt that I am leaving this country. Maybe not immediately, but they are still drugging me without my consent and they used my boyfriend to drug and medicate me without my consent. I don't care if it was U.S. military, CIA, or Canada cooperating with the U.S. They have been drugging me ever since they took my son from me and they tortured me first. Then they drugged me AND tortured me.
I know I am leaving. Maybe not for a few years but the torture and non-consensual experimentation has to stop and I can't leave my family to be tortured alone.
My purpose in life is not to be cleaning my house and unable to be motivated to do anything else or have any of my natural creativity. Doctors lied about me and my son. I just put up proof they lied about the thrush and how they treated us. They did NOT treat us how they knew was required.
My purpose, God's "Will" for my life, is not to be a guinea pig for the U.S. government and religious hate criminals.
They illegally surveil me and I am positive they have hidden cameras in my trailer. They've done everything else. They FUMIGATE my house and recently did this several times. My entire house REEKED. And for the other people I stayed with and ate with, they drugged me. I don't care what their excuse is.
They wanted me to stay with Alvaro just so he or his friends could keep doping what I ate. I had no thrush the entire time with him. So why not? It doesn't go away on its own. And I didn't have a period either.
He didn't encourage me to take drugs of any kind and he wasn't into that. I never did drugs with any of these people. I smoked a couple of puffs for one time and it helped my appetite when I was sick. He never encouraged me to do anything that was bad for me.
Here's the difference. Chris Rozollo wanted me to smoke cigarettes and be addicted. He offered and encouraged them. Alvaro never did. He never encouraged getting drunk or smoking or doing anything harmful. But I am sure that I was medicated in ways someone thought helped me, by someone there because I suddenly had no medical issues. Chris wanted me in jail and smoking. Alvaro I think set me up at the courthouse when I went there that day, and medicated me somehow or through friends.
So if anyone wonders why I'm still single, um, maybe it's religious hate crime and maybe it's US government taking advantage of an opportunity hate crime is encouraging.
I guess I'll just put the photo of the pills here:
The green one doesn't look green there but it is. It's an echinachea tablet. The one to the right is an ibuprofen and then further to the left is the grain of wheat (you can't see it, but it's there to the further to the left of the echinacea). The pile of tablets is down on the bottom of the screen and that's where the one ibuprofen rolled out from. I took another photo that shows all three, with the grain, and then the pills, but it's not showing up yet in my files. It shows up but I can't post it yet. It shows how they are all exactly the same distance apart.
And I noticed these scratches on my hand after I put up the photo. They're from cleaning the yard up today--I had to get through the blackberries.
The trim is gold on the top. It sort of makes me think of one of those levelers used for construction with the bubbles inside that tell you if something is level or not. The trim is thinner, but the objects and their distance is the same as this leveler I liked in the 80s. My Dad had it for working around the house and I guess it was one of my favorite tools, liked watching how the bubbles moved for telling how even something was.
I am looking it up. It's called a level tool and sometimes builder's tool. The one he had was shaped like a ruler, but was filled with bubbles that moved to let you know how level something was. It was maybe 2 feet long which is sort of the length of this arrangment here. I think it was separated into sections too, but the bubble would move left or right or middle depending on where it was level. I loved that tool! It was like a Museum store or science store novelty but practical. Anyway, have no idea how I got onto that tangent. He might still have the same one. Will have to find out. I think it was yellow. I can't remember for sure, but I remember something being yellow about it.
I looked up wiki on "Spirit level". It's also called a spirit level. I don't remember him calling it that. It was "level" and it wasn't the carpenter's level with sections going different ways. It was all one long thing and the bubble moved left or right down a rectangular thing. Not tubular, flat but a 1/2 inch to an inch thick. The fluid inside was yellow--the spirit. It had markings on the plexiglass all the way up and down. I can't remember the color of the frame but it was metal. My Dad would remember. I never personally used it, I just looked at it a lot while helping my Dad with projects or just to look at. I learned to use a hammer and screwdrivers when I was a kid. I helped on this one long project, holding plank after plank of wood still while my Dad cut it. Different sized boards and planks. My arms got very buff that summer. I held them still so he could cut through them evenly and straight, cutting through long vertical planks and boards. Then I watched him work, using the level. I did some hammering. He used a chainsaw. So since he was using a chainsaw and holding it, I had to keep the boards from moving around so they didn't move with the force from the chainsaw even though he usually brought the blade straight down onto the wood. We didn't have one of those chain machines where you feed the wood into it. He used a chainsaw for every single plank or stack of planks. It was a TON of wood.
I am telling you...a TON of WOOD. And I can't even remember what it was used for, I just remember it was hours and hours so how could I ever forget it my entire life? I could never forget it, of course not. It was burning hot too, and I sweated like the pig. I somehow don't think that is correct grammar ("I sweated like the pig") but I did. It was blazing hot out and I had streams of sweat coming off of my face and got very tanned and my arms were like steel--all muscle.
Anyway, I was between 8-11. I think I helped on projects like this from 8-13 maybe. Later he got one of those round blades shaped like a semi circle with teeth that cut and he didn't need my help.
But it was like Karate Kid. Never thought of it that way until tonight, but that's what it was like. We cut all the boards right in the middle, in half. (Go to the middle, get SQUASHED). I think I will make this a separate post bc it has nothing to do with "malicious hacking". My job was to hold the boards straight and keep them from moving. Hold the line in a figurative way. Now I can think of symbolism but I didn't then.
I think he enjoyed my company and having me out there helping but then came the semi-circle saw with teeth. Kind of looked like a swordfish. I didn't help him anymore. I know some of the boards were used for our fence around the property and there was acreage, and then he build his own "shed" which was sort of an insulated music studio basically. Inside, all kinds of musical instruments, music, mics, recording systems, everything and he played it very loud. He had a baby grand out there at one point, along with electric keyboard, and mics, speakers, everything.