CTR's "Billy": Ed Israel

Here we go.

Since I'm thinking back about things...I thought I'd mention "Billy". He was hired on after Diana died and he was African-American.

When I worked at CTR, Dave Kopra and Debbie Cooper never liked me that much. The others did but not them. I got the job through Express Temporary services I believe. I had used them in the past and took a job as temp-to-hire.

After the review period was over, in 1996-97, I was offered a permanent position and told after one year they'd move me into an executive position.

I worked at the front desk as a receptionist, greeting everyone coming in and going out, and kept a small space heater by my feet because my feet were always cold. I didn't have a lot of personal decorations for my desk--I pretty much kept it office-like. So they offered me the job and Dave Kopra wanted to pay me $9/hr. Maybe it was Dave and Ed, I don't know. $9/hr with benefits. I asked for $11/hr, with benefits. I held out and I got it. I knew I did a very good job and was helping with sales tasks and I said, "I have mortgage bills on my house to pay."

I was a home-owner and had to pay my bills. So it was a good argument, having a house with bills to pay. I owned my house before Diana died, using Di as a marker, because I remember using this argument for negotiating about my pay.

Dave Kopra was disgruntled about it.

I was worth every penny and more, and when headhunters came to pick me off to work for more money for them, I said no. I was loyal too.

They had a woman there already sometimes, named Sarah and we had different shifts and then I believe she was going back to college. This was the same approximate time that Diana died, because then they brought in "Billy" who was an African-American guy who was going to college PT and working there and he took a job of administrative assistant.

He did NOT like me. He never liked me and I never knew why, but he didn't. And then I think he was trying to find ways to get rid of me with a couple of others. I left my desk office-like but a little disordered, with a few papers or pencils here and there. He was a consummate neat freak. He had nothing on his desk at all. He was probably former military, judging by the way he cleaned. He didn't want to see anything in front of him ever. I liked having a few things out to work with, and see, and he had everything out of sight.

Dave Kopra loved him and pal'd around with him. And Debbie Cooper was mushy with him..."Billleeeee..." She almost flirted with him. I overheard because Debbie Cooper sat behind me in an office and always had her door open.

"Billleeee, could you help me with this? Billleeee, will you grab that file for me? Billleeeeee..."

So Billy already hated me and did small things to make me look bad or talked about me. Then one day I said, as I've mentioned, something out of HABIT, that I always used with my OWN BROTHER and in songs, and when Billy started yelling at me for something, after trying my patience repeatedly, and taking things from me, I said something and added "Boy" to it. My best friend could confirm I used this with my own brother all the time and in no way was it racially derogatory at all, and I would even think, after singing "can she bake a cherry pie billy boy, billy boy" it was like a natural reflex to attach boy to "Billy" when I said it. There was even a cassette tape with me singing this song when I was 2 years old. It was NOT a big deal.

However, he turned it into this HUGE deal. He was trying to have me fired from Day 1. If he WAS in the military, it would be kind of interesting to know what branch actually.

I think he turned it, this ONE comment, into some kind of claim that I insulted him by race or something. You know, like it was the same thing as calling him the n-word or something, but I never once thought this when I said. Ever.

He could have been a white man and I still knew he didn't like me and I would have said the same thing. It made no difference to me. Billy was then handling a lot of accounts for Nike.

He sort of went from personal assistant or office assistant to Sales and he got a lot of Nike accounts. I remember when he got his promotion to Sales. I was happy for him--I didn't care. And it was after this that he got meaner though.

So he took it personally and for all I know, he took it to the streets-personal. I don't know what his religion was but I sort of think it was Catholic. I'm not sure why I'm thinking Catholic instead of Baptist, because ...I don't know, I remember something about Catholic. And Dave Kopra was Catholic I think, and I think Debbie Cooper was maybe Baptist or something else but I can't recall.

After this happened, Ed Israel or Dave Kopra said they were going to do a review. Or was this for me to be hired? I almost think it was separate. Anyway, the company--THE ENTIRE company was told to write what they thought about me. There were 100+ people there and they were all asked to discuss me and vote about me.

I never got anything like that, myself, for another employee. And I don't know what the voting thing looked like or what the comments were, but I was only told "upper management people and sales really like you." If that was true, I would have no way of knowing because I wasn't allowed to see the results.

Then I sensed that I was going to be fired and had this weird dream too. I had this dream that there were all these very good pastries and things, under a long white tablecloth and when I asked for something too, because others were getting things, they gave me a couple and said, "We don't have anything else" and underneath the tablecloth was a huge hoarde and stash of pastries, bagels, muffins, desserts, the works. Mainly pastries and desserts. And in my dream it was CTR people and I knew, in the dream, they were lying to me and had something undercover and things they weren't sharing even though there was plenty to share. It was such a dramatic dream that I woke up, wrote it down, and told someone at work about it probably. Maybe just one person. When I woke up, I didn't usually interpret my own dreams or pay attention to them but I remember thinking, "They're withholding from me." Someone was, or some group was, and they didn't want me to know what was under the tablecloth.

I wrote about this dream in one of my journals that was stolen.

Next thing I knew, after I had this dream, my job looked like it was about to end. I could sense it, and thought it was probably Ed and Dave because of the way they treated me. But then Bruce Maland offered me a job and it was an excellent offer. It would have saved me, financially, but I had already known when I turned 24 and was independent, I wanted to go to college and I liked business, but I liked working with people even more.

So I thought about getting a degree, and becoming a teacher or social worker of some kind. Later, I changed my mind and decided that since I loved to read and write, I would go for an English Lit. degree and go on to teach or law.

When I worked there, I was top notch. Everyone came up to the front desk, where I was, to tell their secrets and gossip, because I never once shared anything with any other person. Ever. I never gossiped about anyone and I never passed on something I'd heard. And it got to the point where someone commented out loud that they'd better go to the front desk because they knew Cameo would never tell. I think they tested me, because different people would come up and ask what someone else said and I never told them. Even competitors, if they shared things with me, as long as it was at my desk, I didn't pass on anything to anyone in my own company. So I allowed them to say whatever they wanted and never told. I felt that was my job: to listen. So I did a lot of listening and never shared a thing.

They also knew I was beyond the norm in honesty. I never once lied, not even for someone else. Not even for the CEO. "Is Ed there?" "Ed, _____'s on the phone." "Tell her I'm not here, I left the office." "Ma'am, Ed is unavailable at this time, could I take a personal message?" I literally tried so hard to be honest, that I thought about how to phrase things in order to be discreet and not lie at the same time.

I also remember Sarah, a different Sarah, who worked in Marketing and I helped her with some things but once I thought she felt I was trying to show her up and I wasn't. I had just noticed something in the newspaper because I read the newspaper everyday, and pointed it out to her because it directly affected the company and was good information. She sort of took it like I was trying to steal her job, but I had just noticed by accident, and it was relevant.

Probably everyone there knew I was a virgin, in 1997, or some did, because I know I told Sarah, the other temp, and it probably got around. I may have told Lisa. People asked who I dated or why I wasn't dating and I never came out and said this, but just said no, and no one asked further and then in private I maybe shared with a couple people when they wanted to know more.

But I would like to know more about Billy and his background if I had to know, and some of the people there, because bad things happened after this time.

And then the other Jewish connection I remember, where these guys didn't like me or I had a bad vibe, was at a friend's wedding I sang for. She married a Jewish guy. And I was asked to sing with my Dad and the whole time I had a bad feeling about it. Stacey Roarke's wedding. It was after 1998. I remember her groom smirking over at me. Just bad vibe stuff. I know I had a bad attitude at the time, didn't like having my mother offer me to sing without asking me, but it was something else. Something was really off.

Stacey Roarke was the daughter of my parent's former next-door neighbors.
**************************
It is my opinion that some of the hate crime goes back to at least 1997. There wasn't a lot going on, but I do know Billy hated me and was out for revenge and Ed sort of turned and then his wife was interrogating me.

I think this is still affecting my family now.

Probably it could be traced back to then, without a doubt.

And I just went over to check on my mom and she's being tortured with technology at the house and my Dad isn't okay either.

I would bet money one of the CTR persons I listed is FBI connected.