My first random impression of a foreign word today: plaisir.
I looked it up, and it is french (that much I knew already) for "pleasure", which is something I am trying to deny myself in some ways, during fasting.
I was going to buy Toblerone chocolate yesterday and then thought how I wanted it because of the taste and decided it was a "pleasure" that I could give up for the purpose of the fast.
This was the last time I thought of the word in English but didn't have anything come to mind until I was sitting down at a table. It's 8:42 a.m. Central Standard Time. I guess the word came to mind about 10-15 minutes ago. I wasn't talking to anyone. I had just finished talking to an older man who was pretty interesting, had been in the air force and we talked about tea and different states and the water (sea) on opposite coasts. No one was speaking french. I just had it come to my mind.
So I started looking up youtube songs with "plaisir" in it. plaisir d'amour first, by joan baez and then madame kay's plaisir solitaires. Can I say, I love this song! plaisir solitaires. Maybe it's sort of standard but I haven't heard a song in french for awhile.
There was a girl or young woman who sat next and she sort of "looked" french to me but I got the word before I saw her. She seemed charming and very articulate from what I could tell.
I don't think plaisir was from a song though, but something someone must have been saying.
I am wondering if 2006-2009 was the era of large stuffed mascots for music videos. watching porquoi tu pleures by madame kay and reminded of the killers "can you read my mind" video. invasion of the teletubbies.
So...anyway, not to sound weird about fasting at any rate. I am eating and just choosing to eliminate a few things here and there. Today I went out without putting any make up on at all. I wanted to get an early start to the day and didn't have time but I'm not at work and just getting some other things done today.
I sang this song last night, "I Will Not Move", by Kate Miner (from her 1995 CD "Sacred"), and then made up a ditty. Later I sang this song about Jesus (will have to think about which one it was). Someone asked what I'd been singing (in the bathroom) and I explained this one called "I Will Not Move" as a song about standing firm in a request to God. Also, about not moving away from God. But to continue and declare one will continue and not let go of the "hem" until the petition is granted (Mark 5:21-32; Matthew 9:18-22). I will not move from this fast, God, until you answer me. There is a time to "let go and let God" (not a bible verse but an american colloquialism, based on verses about God in control probably, Ephesians 1:11 for an example) and a time to stand fast and firm in a peition to God (Matthew 24:12--stand firm), which follows the scripture about the widow who did not quit "pestering" the master until he granted her request and how God is the same (Luke 18:1-8, the faith of the widow to the Judge or ruler). Which also follows the scripture about how "even dogs get the crumbs under the table" and how much more will God give to those He loves and calls his own? (Mark 7:24-30 (the faith of the syrophoenician woman); Matthew 7:7-9 (ask and you shall receive) Will he give them crumbs or will he give them what they ask for? As long as it is a righteous request, within the will of God, it is not wrong to stand firm. There is "fear of the Lord" (Isaiah 11:2-3 and then see near the bottom of this section where I explain how those who were servants and carried the ark were killed by getting too close) which is a healthy respect and reverence and then there is having the "boldness and confidence" to "come before the throne of God". (Hebrews 4:14-16)
The themes running through my mind have been about faith. Without faith it is impossible to please God. (Hebrews 11:6)
How does this reconcile those who have faith and are faithful and yet only have bad things happen to them? I don't know. I still believe it is necessary to have faith.
I wasn't expecting to write about spiritual things or scripture but I may as well share a few things I'm learning (not everything but a few things). Last night, I read in Hebrews, about how "Abraham, through faith, offered up Isaac as a sacrifice, believing God would literally resurrect him from the dead." But what God did was return him from an imminent death. It was a resurrection but not in the way Abraham thought it was going to be. The Hebrews chapter about faith and to sustain and endure all things, from sacrifice to ill treatment to jeers, in imitiation of Christ who also suffered these things, and in imitation of the saints (those gone before) "of whom the world was not worthy". Hebrews 11.
I believe in endurance and perserverance in trials and also in establishing your claim and rights, through common law and also through the law of God, and this is of equal opportunity to happiness and the gifts God gives, which include the gift of children. (Hebrews 12:1)
Whereas once the only way to access "the throne of God" was through a mediator, a literal priest, and sacrifice of something perfect, the New Testament message is that when Christ died, through his blood, we now go to the throne of mercy and grace with our petitions, in boldness and confidence, because we KNOW we are children of God. Unless you are as little children, (in their faith), you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven. Which means we do not wait at the end of the hall like Esther did (as good and brave as she was, in this time) and wait for the king to extend his sceptor and admit us into his presence--We run to the feet of the king and expect him to hear us, like little children do, like the Mary of Magdalene. We are worthy enough to be in his presence and have faith in his acceptance and love, no matter how imperfect we may be. (Luke 18:15-17 and Titus 1:10 (to the pure all things are pure).
If you have even a mustard seed of faith, you can say to this mountain, "Move" and it will be moved. Matthew 17:17-20.
I take it with a grain of salt. All things in moderation. Nothing in extreme. (I am finding onling all these sayings about how "all things in moderation" isn't biblical and is an american idiom but it's directly based from a verse in the bible which I'll try to find, which states one should be temperate in all things. Here it is, in the King James Version it reads, "be temperate in all things", I Corinthians 9:25). Not to be so stubborn as to believe against God's will but also not to be someone who is a quitter and who gives up when the going gets rough. Just because it is hard does not mean it is not God's will. If anything, often, the harder path is the right one. It is the narrow and thorny and rocky path without any signposts.
An analogy from scripture: "Narrow is the path of righteous and few are they who find it; wide and easy is the path to destruction which many take." (to paraphrase. I know these verses by heart but I'm bad about references. Here it is, Matthew 7:13). I would have to go back and insert the references. This verse is about spiritual righteousness but it also applies to finding the path for your own life and it might be one that others don't readily want to share, or even believe in.
When people tell you to "Move on" sometimes you have to say to them, "Stand back. I will not move." And if God hasn't given YOU any directive to move or change course, it is cowardice and faithlessness that would lead you away from this position of faith. There may be set backs but ultimately if one is in the will of God, it will still move you forward. (Proverbs 3:5-6, he will make your path straight with your trust and faith; Ephesians 6:10-18, put on the armor of God and take a stand,; Isaiah 26:3, perfect peace for those whose minds are steadfast and do not waver in purpose)
There is "wisdom in the counsel of many" (Proverbs 11:14)but there is also a time to listen to the "still, small voice of God" (I Kings 19:10-13)and believe He will keep you in his care.
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I wrote about fear of the lord and said I would explain this. I think one of the biggest misconceptions about judeo-christian faith, is this idea of "fear of the lord". I had a school friend once say to me that he didn't believe in any "god" that would want people to fear him and that it should be a god of love. He understood fear of the lord to be the sense of being afraid of god, as a child might be scared of an enemy.
I said to him then, that I thought it mainly meant having a "healthy respect" for God.
However, if you read through the old testament, the idea of fear of the Lord is not just healthy respect, which we hear about in references scattered throughout the bible, but it is also explained through the stories of things which occured to those to those who either disobeyed God or who got too close to the holy presence of God. Many who disobeyed seriously were punished or the subsequent generations punished.
I am trying to find the reference but it is either a prophet or a king who gets mad at God because servants who are handling the ark are consumed by a fire. He asks God why He allowed this. And the high priest was only allowed to come near after a lengthy santification and if not done right, could endanger himself. When the philistines took the ark, so many bad things happened that they gladly returned it. And yet when the ark came into the City of David, David danced around it, in a linen wrap...Oh here it is, I opened right to the part I was thinking of: I Chronicles 13:7-14, about how Uzzah was killed and David was angry with God. That must have been providential bc I couldn't remember where it was and I just opened right to it. I think there is another passage about others being burned too but this is one of them at least.
There is another example I turned to just now, without looking for it, but it fits. When the angel of the Lord is seen with a sword drawn, standing between heaven and earth. David showed lack of faith in the strength of God. He started looking at the numbers. He was afraid there were not enough people in Israel to handle wars or for the defense so he called for a census to be taken. This lack of faith in the power of God, brought David a choice of punishments and he had to make a choice. After he made this choice, as God saw the angel destroying people and about to destroy Jerusalem, he was greived and halted everything. I can't imagine being Araunah the Jebusite, because this was where the angel was suspended, at his threshing floor, and when David and his company saw this, they all fell to the ground, faces to the floor. David said to kill him instead, and it was his fault, and God said instead to make a sacrifice and after this, the angel of the lord put his sword back into the sheath. I Chronicles Ch. 21.
So there is this whole idea of the literal power of God and "fear of the Lord", the Shekinah glory emanating from God (which Christians refer to as "the holy spirit"), and the angels and messengers of God, which is still present in the New Testament, but it's mediated by the offering of Christ, who made a perfect sacrifice so that we are then able to come "boldly before the throne of God", being purified and clean enough to be in the presence of God or to go to him directly, because of the blood of christ. There is no longer a veil which separates us from God, other than the one which we pass through when we approach God with a contrite spirit and through our confessions and request for forgiveness of sin.
By faith, we believe that we are worthy to stand before God, and as little children had no fear of approaching Christ, and do not understand the difference between a common person and a "king", so should christians believe they are able to have a conversation with God. Abraham was called a friend of God (James 2:23). Choosing to be a friend of the world (or immoral or corrupt persons) is to be an enemy of God (James 4:4). Jesus calls us "friends" if we follow his ways (John 15:14-15).
Following him does not mean being perfect or doing everything correctly, but in trying and in renouncing bribery, corruption, deprivation of the rights of others, defaming others, jealousies, bullying of others, and leaving those leaders and/or followers who encourage these kinds of activities.
It means we try to do the right thing and respect the God-given rights and gifts of others.
As for personal vices which do not harm others necessarily, I do not believe these are as big of a deal to God because they do not infringe on the rights of others. If the most important commandment is to love God with all our heart, mind, and soul, and the second is to love our neighbor as ourselves, this would mean personal habits which do not harm others, may be things to work on, but are not the main things to be concerned about. There, but for the grace of God, go I. The main reason to abstain from the personal vices would be, in my opinion, for a time of sanctification or fasting.
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The other topic that's been on my mind is about fasting and without the bridegroom. The Jews practiced fasting as part of their faith. The pharisees asked Jesus why his disciples did not fast according to religious custom, and Jesus' response was that no one fasts while the bridegroom is with them but that there would soon come a time when he would not be with them and they would then fast.
I then read this same idea about David eating after his son had died. He was asked why he wasn't mourning and he said while his son was still alive he fasted and hoped God would save his child but after he was gone, why should he mourn over the will of God? He washes his face, arises, eats, and accepts what has happened. This is not to say that some take things into their own hands. Natural causes is one thing and any child dying because of what others have done, or becoming ill through the hands of others, or harmed, is contrary to the will of God.
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I've been listening to some various random worship music from Mahalia Jackson to Michael J. Smith and this one came up. I clicked on it before I could see the selection, just randomly and wasn't watching the video but something about it made me smile so I clicked to look and it's from a concert in Holland. I wondered what flag it was and had to check. The song is: The Enemy Has Been Defeated.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRESOHXcqb0&feature=related. The first one that made me smile for some reason was Hillsong and MJ Smith's "Awesome God".http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MnzODn7g3I&feature=related. We just sang this one recently in a chapel service: How Great Is Our God:
***************http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OsyiGgSlqY&NR=1&feature=fvwp
I Will Rise
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bms0ZiM_KG0&NR=1&feature=
Oh my gosh. I had Denise Williams come to mind (we used to have worship songs by her) and I clicked on "Let's Hear It For The Boy" and it's a video of a little boy! reminds me of my son:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnuYhFRYbAw
went to portishead's glory box and then going back to worship. I'm doing an online test thing while listening to music. Went to hillsong. I like them, in general. Good feeling whenever I listen to them.
I just looked them up on wiki (I think for the first time) and found they are based in Australia but there are a lot of churches in other places. When I listen to the worship songs, I usually begin to have this very good, strong feeling that there is something to it. I guess there is a Hillsong church that just opened up in NYC in October 2010.
I feel good energy and power at different churches and sometimes even in the middle of other things which don't seem very good, and from worship music too, but for some reason, the Hillsong worship songs (most) bring out something good from somewhere. If it's not the music or praise itself, it's that it edifies someone, or many possibly, who I am connected to in some way.
I think it's the live recording of the power of so many people coming together to worship and praise God. Most of the music is centered on lifting God up in an kind of anthem. Which isn't unlike Coldplay or U2 in a sense, but with the theme more explicitly directed to God (not that other forms of music cannot exalt God or the talents others have).
I like the seriousness or respect that is given in the Anglican traditions (with the humor though, too, of the one Irish pastor I knew, Robin) and then I like the free form of praise that Hillsong has. And then I like really good or sincere gospel music.
This one is really beautiful: Lord of Lords, led by Brooke Fraser. As soon as it started, I was on another page and didn't see who was singing but before the first word, the power was in the song. And then I read about her, (wiki, yes), and she expresses discontent about commercialism of sacred music, just for profit. Which, if she is sincere, means the power in the song she sings, is coming partly from her heart, which might be in the right place when it comes to reasons for singing about God.
http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=2270104265789251186&postID=808877276897378810
At any rate, I tried to do a form of testing today and have to go into an office instead because of a few glitches. But it wasn't a wasted day. I had a really good day listening to music and writing about some of the things I've thought about and then some new things came up as I was writing as well. Like Araunel the Jebusite. I didn't even know the name, or think of it until I landed on it today for some reason. Then I was looking up angels that carry swords and Michael came up.
At first, I thought what I am writing sounds so stodgy and strange, and maybe spinster...no "appeal" in it really, but I just wrote anyway and I am imperfect or one with contrasts like anyone else. I swear and have issues, but I also do feel sincerely about spiritual things.
I also began to sense some of the "bad" power behind some of the gaming, was being defeated.
There was an upset.
Hallelujah
(I mean for me personally and things that are being worked or purposed against me, from sorcery and voodoo kinds of things to other plans. I felt them fall away, as I continued listening to the music and I saw a few becoming disconcerted and upset by it too)
I can't control things others do to interfere with even my taking tests online, or what they try to do around me. A few came in to try to distract me and I kept my headphones on all day and only listened to worship and then talked to a few normal people. Otherwise,I blocked all the others out and their energy was a waste of their time and not mine.
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