This Morning (dreams and other)

COHEN DREAM
Probably someone is implanting dreams. I had no dreams until a few days ago and now it's more restless sleep and a series of odd dreams. The night before last night's was weird but I didn't write about it. Last night I had a dream that some man with the last name Cohen was trying to seduce me (in a mutual way) but then I didn't trust his motives as to why he was trying to get close to me even if there was a mutual attraction. In the dream the attraction was so strong I thought, in my dream, is this who is going to ruin my celibacy streak and then I wondered if he was someone serious. I determined to only let it go so far. And then I doubted everything about his motives and wondered if they were political in some way. He was good looking, dark hair and maybe average to tall (probably more on the taller side but hard to tell, and lean average build). Then I was reading something in my dream that said 1 out of 2 people didn't drink Tennessee water.

So then some guy comes walking by this morning with a hat that said "Aaron" on it and it sort of made me think of the dream a little bit. Then I went to the cafe to look up Cohen on wiki. It stands for a lot of things. It has some reference to Aaron as well. Supposedly a Cohen is in the same geneaology line as Aaron.

In the dream there were 2 other men in the periphery and sort of looking in and checking on things outside as well. But I don't remember it all. It was very detailed and the only parts I remember are what I described. In the dream nothing was settled. I wasn't with him and I wasn't without him (nothing decided but interrupted and then I woke up) but I didn't fully trust him and wondered if it was another person or attempt to redirect me out of some path God wanted me to take. I didn't know if he was acting as a honeypot even if he was genuinely attracted, as some have done (I believe) with me in the past.

I maybe had Cohen come into the dream because there is some building with that name in town and maybe somehow it transfered to a dream.

Just sort of random.

Then I walked to the cafe with Libera's "Sanctus" running through my mind so I'm playing it first this morning.
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SICK YESTERDAY
Yesterday I really did get sick. I then had someone tell me they thought I did get something bad. I only had coffee at a church and then lunch at a place where everyone had pretty much the same thing and only the cupcakes could have been different from eachother.

I was sick enough to look up hospitals just in case but I didn't go anywhere because I figured it was some kind of food poisoning.

First I noticed my eyes looked glassy and not normal. That's when, before having any symptoms at all, I said to someone: "I look like I've been drugged--look at my eyes." I was sort of shocked to see my own appearance because I looked so out of it or strange to my own eyes--terrible and I thought "Did I look like this at church this morning?"

Then, I must have been out of it because I left my key in my locker lock.

Then an hour later I almost passed out and asked God for strength and continued and felt fine and then one hour after this, I was in the bathroom about 10 times, over and over, literally sick. I sucked on a couple of pieces of fresh lemon and felt slightly better. Then it passed and I felt weak but I still made it to a church carols and lessons service.
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CHRISTMAS CAROL CONCERT
I heard some classical christmas hymns that I haven't heard before, which was great, and some good readings. There were also sing-a-long hymns which I enjoyed. A couple of parts had more impact for me (personally) than other parts.

One thing I didn't really care for, was that in a service which was to be about worship and remembering the Lord's birth and incarnation, a few small gestures were made which referenced things I've said in the past I guess, and it felt out of place as if all that should be left behind upon entering church. Like the little dragging of the finger along the outside of the eye when there is no tear, and done in a manner of sarcasm. When I am seeing this from a head pastor or priest it makes me feel disappointed on behalf of God. Then, I saw him being caned or spanked at some point in his life and prayed for him. I was getting more of a stick of some kind than just a hand when he was spanked and I had pity for him and remembered we all come with our issues.
I just tried to redirect my thoughts after seeing this more than once. And prayed for everyone and especially for the kids.

I was praying "out of the mouths of babes you ordain praise" when this baby in front of me was cooing and babbling.

One cool thing that happened that morning earlier was that right after I had specifically prayed, "God please bless Opal and Audrey", Opal then laughed out loud. Bless means "make happy". I thought that was very cool. I think it's because her sister tickled her in service but they both started giggling and I thanked God for giving them joy or happiness. Opal was 2 and Audrey was 7.

I also was noticing this man in the choir when I started praying for all of the kids and then later found out, when I asked who he was, that he was the children's or "acolytes" minister or director. I found out acolyte (I think I'm misspelling it) means someone a child who is learning service to the church, like altar boy or girl, or choir or lighting of the candles--that kind of thing.

8:35 a.m. shout out to Charlie-ho. (not from the church but won't say which, he'll know)

But there was some good energy from somewhere, and I sensed it at different parts. Songs I liked and felt energy from were:
1. Creator of the stars of night (contindor alme siderum)
3rd and 4th verses esp. We sang this one together and I felt it deeply at these parts. Glory given to God. I also thought it was right for the main bishop to take off his crown for this.
2. Adam Lay Ybounden in the sense of thinking it would be a good dancing song. Not as emotional but thought it was a joyful jig type of song.
3. Rorte caeli I noticed because the right pronunciation for the latin words came to my mind before they were sung. I guess that was just intuitive guesswork but I was surprised.
4. Christ hath a garden by Gary Davison (b.1961)
I didn't feel emotional in the sense of the "Creator of the stars of the night" in the glory of God, but a calming and deep sense and closed my eyes from "by Eden's stream to "stir up, O south the boughts that bloom". It made me think of Song of Solomon and an impression I had earlier in the day of a dove flying out from roses in a green garden. I think it was just imagination and must have been during church in the morning, not the evening service but then this song was sang and it reminded me of the impression I'd had earlier. A dove, and this beautiful green garden. The dove coming from the left (where there was a rose bush or some roses) and flying out crossing past and up and across the minds view.
5. Sans Day Carol (Cornish traditional carol, arr. John Rutter)
I really liked this one. It's simple but I loved it. I had the idea of children for a pageant singing this one, with a child stepping forward to sing the different verses.
6. I thought about this one reading, where Herod heard of a prophecy and was so afraid he might be unseated he desperately send out orders to quash any chance of it occuring. I thought about this, for the first time ever, as the wise men or magi went out, in modern terms. How would this look today? A modern prophecy (do they happen in this age) which some want to destroy or quash? and however did Mary and Joseph manage to keep Jesus "under wraps" when the magi went out to honor him with gold and myrhh and things.
"Where'dja get the gold Mabel?*
"Oh Darcy, we got lucky and found it under the manger."
"I really like that perfume...Um...where can I get some?"
"Umm. I don't know. This guy just gave me a sample at the farmer's market last week to try on Jesu."
(* Mabel, as nickname for Mary)
10 Years later: (an aside from one neighbor to the other, whispered) "Do you think he's the one?"
"Shh! Naw, look at 'im. He's too scrawny."
20 Years later: "Do ya think it's 'im? there's something about him..."
"So he went from scrawny to brawny. So what. He's a carpenter. Didn't he fix the leak in Reginalds roof the other day? and I thought he did some of the framing for your cousin's house?"

So I thought about how hard this would be, to escape notice and then get good notice later and do whatever it is you're supposed to do, and not be blocked. Eventually he gets notice, good and bad and is having to change locations frequently. Developing believers and also arousing concerns and some jealousies. I thought of it in modern terms. Like of what I read about Duke Philip as a refugee in a fruit box. Or others who go through weird things in order to make it, no matter what their birth is, or their position.
7. The Star-Song by Jonathan Dove (b. 1959)
I liked this one for the the lyrics. It's all poetry. I could see all kinds of great things with this one, sort of the Venus of Milan images.
8. My favorite reading was by Anne, and I felt it in a powerful way. From John 1:1-14. I sensed power and strength with it. Felt like a very deep moment.
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CHAPEL
Then I was glad to hear a chapel with a message about John 3:16, and not giving up and that at this time many people have lost a lot and despair, and this is the worst season for bringing it out, but to not give up. It was about the antidote to giving up on life. Which is a good reminder to be looking out for eachother and encouraging one another, no matter what the circumstances, through testimonies of what we have been brought through. That you are not alone.

It was nice because in the first service (concert with carols) I felt one could focus on Christ and God alone and then in the next, bring it home to practical terms of how to share the good news and support others with encouragement.
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CHARLES SPENCER
I guess it's better not to be vague about Charlie. I had Diana's brother come to mind. I didn't know why because I wasn't thinking about any of them. It was when I was writing about the acolytes. I don't remember ever reading that Charles was an acolyte so I don't know why this came to my mind but his face flashed up. I figured there must be a reason for it. I can't confirm everything but sometimes I've had confirmations later on things. If something so random comes to mind, I figure it has to be an authentic impression or intuition about something.

Then I was in the restroom at about 9:20 or 9:25 and thinking about one message about how Christ was eating and drinking with sinners and saw him as a rabble-rouser in the pub or tavern and then the giggle from my favorite clip of Harry and William with their mom came to mind. Just Harry's giggle. I figure this is because then I did think about their family with some as sometime-refugees or someone was watching this and I picked up on it somehow.

Then today I also thought about my Dad because of this Blue Angel's plane called Fat Albert and we used to watch that show all the time. My Dad watched it too.

I also thought about some people from Washington and the NW yesterday and asked God to help let those know who DID and have tried to help, know I am thankful for their efforts which are even harder in that situation, or location. I asked God to help them know that even if I don't know what was going on all the time, I am thankful and still have great thanks to those who might still be looking out for my son, who is still there. I started to feel bad, as if some do not feel recognized for their efforts and as if I only appreciate people away from there. Things are better for me here, but those who fought and fight over THERE are very brave and went and go beyond incredible odds to do so. I thought about some in Seattle too, who were starting to pick up on things, and knew it was bad, so, to not give a bad name to all who are there, whose fault it's not, for some of the bullying and intimdation in the area against me and my son, I was asking God to forgive me if I made anyone feel bad.

I listened to There is No Rose of Such Virtue by Sting and then this version of Edleweiss by Andrew Rieu which is really beautiful:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzDlLtgt1BI

This flower is also beautiful! Photos of the Edleweiss:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leontopodium_alpinum

I think he's a great violinist--Andrew Rieu.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andr%C3%A9_Rieu
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I got curious and looked up Earl Charles Spencer. I found, right away, something about being a page of honour which is "sort" of like being an acolyte and I don't know if this is why he came to mind or if it was something else. Probably if it's something, only he would know.
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Looked up the Blue Angels article on wiki about charity. One man had only $10 left to his name and is optimistic.

Which helped me to think about those who could avoid feeling down or suicidal. It's hardest when you go from having a lot and losing almost everything because the shock and then the disparagment that comes with it. It's shocking to find out who your real friends are and how some can be very cruel when you're down.

Family betrayal at such a time makes it worse, but still, things can always turn around, even if it looks like it may take some time and some are just fine with your remaining right where you are.

I am hoping some of the women I've met all get good work if they can work and that more job opportunities come up.
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Impressions (all for one person, 10:30 a.m., all in different phases of time or history but about one person):
round crystal or clear ball
putting together a puzzle on the floor
putting a hand beneath some fold in a cloak, like with Mormonism but other secret sect, maybe Mason, maybe different
medieval crypt book with old pages and ink that's colored and hardback with illustrated photos in colorful ink of the tree in the garden of eden and of an angel on another page,
cream colored cable knit (?) type of sweater
also, navy blue jacket somewhere
woman in dark fur coat
something about twin sister (maybe not known publicly. not sure. Or maybe I got it for some other reason) felt really good energy after writing that. 11:07 p.m. CST.

I looked up masonic rite stuff and found there IS something like putting a hand in a fold of cloth but I sort of got it differently than what I see on the diagram tht I pulled up. In the diagram, someone inserts their hand into their shirt and what I got was more of a cloth or folded cloth being held by one person maybe and then someone else then putting their hand in and taking it out. But I might be wrong on that. Palm facing down.
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Okay. It was Charles Spencer. Some things I sort of got about him, right or wrong. I didn't think about his having twin daughters. I got "twin sister" so I wondered about him, if maybe he'd had a secret twin that was lost early in gestation or if there is someone out there. I'm sure that somewhere in the history of aristocracy, someone was whisked away to be raised like a normal person and undercover.

Something funny though, is that I was looking up fertility clinics and the next thing I knew, right after fertility clinics I got an article about Charles' (prince of wales one) motorbike aversion. So I clicked on it, thinking it's just about motorbikes. Noted the plate. KD. Kid? I was just looking up and calling about fertility stuff and then next thing ya know, it's Charles and the bike that says "KD", which made ME think of kid. Who cares. It's random. It was just a little weird. I wasn't trying to look up Charles either. I was trying to look something else up and that's what came up.
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Well, I'm glad SOMEONE is amused! 5:42 p.m. CST. Why this amusement also makes me laugh I have no idea. Who ARE you?!

More laughter. 5:43 p.m.

Alright. MOooooving on.

This song came on as I was thinking about pyschic connections, by Adam Stephens "Second Mind"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AumVFyMiEyc
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Someone's hands on his face, drawing down. Both hands on face, drawing down from top to bottom. Like, oh my gosh. 5:50 p.m. or so.

I might have to learn this song and try to sing it sometime at an open mic.

Descartes, following Theory of Mind:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meditations_on_First_Philosophy
Meditations on First Philosophy
might read tomorrow more and see whether I agree or disagree and how it fits or doesn't fit the theme of this song.
O Happy Tangent.