Guinness World Record For Writing

I checked the Guinness online and found there isn't a record for anything to do with writing. Not that I could find. I typed in the word "writing" and "prolific writing" and there were zero entries.

I have been trying to get by on only ONE OTC today and it was especially challenging. Now I have a "Tilt" in my hand, a malt with energy drink thing that this single Dad's girlfriend brought for me. She's already had about 3 of them, as the kids are driving us all crazy. I've decided I am no longer the nanny type. I mean, not in the same way. I love my son and could have fun with kids, and could even adopt more, and feel they were my own, but forget the 7-7 with someone else's kids as the babysitter. I did my time.

There are wives and there are mistresses. There are mothers and there are nannies. Believe me, the mistresses are probably having a LOT more fun than the nannies.

Last night, there was a beating (one child pummeled the other), public nuisance, (hip hop blasting from the car with a kid inside), and an attempted arson (fire). Yes. A fire. And I was NOT "on duty" thank God. One of the kids got a lighter and decided to see what happened to the oil in his scooter if he applied the torch. And a couple days ago he started the car on his own, having stolen the keys. He's four. Yes. He's four. I wasn't in charge, so it's not on me, and in general, they're okay, but it's been a rough few days, and perhaps this is affecting my writing? there were tulips plucked from other neighbor's gardens, and even rocks thrown at a house, to which a neighbor yelled, "(to the Dad) Keep your KIDS in control or I'll call the police! DO something." I'm afraid to write anything because of the clear and present danger of CPS shmucks on the look-out for justification of their paycheck. But I should document this, to parody and play up later.

I do have some opportunity to connect with people on a friendly basis, and have a huge stack of emails and phone numbers I need to start responding to. I've had some very good conversations even, so shouldn't forget or neglect to pick up my own slack and reach out a little bit.

I wish I were in a big mingling area though. I like to get a story, but it's fun to flit around from table to table too. Maybe I should just start up some really weird groups and see who comes. Like, "amateur psychic" groups, "how to play piano with your feet", and "guinness world records training and support group", etc. Just some random stuff. I should probably get that medical permit too and use it to slink into some hippie group like an insider who doesn't smoke for migraines but for fun. I'll have to learn how to dance to a mandolin though. And where's my rev. wright church anyway? I think I could even manage to drag myself to church if THAT one was around the corner, just to see-and-say-so.

I've noticed Law & Order is a really big deal over in this neck of the woods. It's on now. The girlfriend has a one year old who's really cute and I've played a lot of peek-a-boo with him. It should be my son I'm playing with.