Thursday, May 15, 2008

Initial Tips For Aspiring Sugarbabies

I've some very good hits and very bad misses.

Light, fun, clever, witty--good.

But spare witty when describing why you're open to plastic surgery. If a man asks why you're open to it, don't TELL him why! At least NOT until you've nailed down the negotiations. It is better to be mysterious than to describe how you went from a 32 B to a 38 DD when pregnant, and how, if he really wants a picture, to imagine plastic wrap after it's been microwaved.

I think I have a career in comedy and might need to bag the whole sugarbaby thing...Ya think?

Or I'm just going to have to advertise as "Funny in Bed". What every man wants. A clown. Unless, ewww, he has a thing for real people in clown suits and I've heard some do have this fetish. I am NOT wearing a clown suit, under any circumstances. How weird would that be, to have some guy tell you he's paying for your spa and salon but then asks you to wear a squeaky red plastic nose and a rainbow wig. I don't know though, if I can get paid to wear a clown suit and just stay far away, on the other side of the room, and get legal fees paid, that might be okay...

Actually, if I had a webcam, that would be the easiest way to make money. Set up a voyeur site where people click in just to see you walking around in a modest clown suit, doing the normal everyday things. Maybe being a little dramatic now and then, do a little dance in the clown shoes...

Now, actually, to my credit, my body is not bad at ALL. Bad picture about the plastic wrap. Most people can't believe I've had a baby. But of course I'm open to some improvements at this point. Why not?

Oh yeah, serious advice for the sugarbaby inquirer. Don't take less than $5,000/mo., no matter what unless this is your boyfriend and you're already in love and just decided to ask for an allowance. I've seen ranges of $5,000-10,000; $10,000-20,000; and up, and that's in addition to other things. Apartment, car, shopping, spa & salon. I called about the tax thing. It's up to the guy. I spoke with CPAs and tax attorneys, just out of curiosity and to be on the right side of the law, and it's all legal. If you're working as an "assistant", I was told, you have to pay taxes. But if you're just receiving gifts, you don't have to claim anything. I asked him about the $11,000 or $12,000 maximum gift allowance per year, and this guy, who was a CPA, said don't worry about it. It doesn't apply. He said some things might apply to the responsibilities of the person giving gifts, but not to the person receiving gifts. Also, if it's an issue, they can pay for all your bills, pay off college debt, pay tuition, or whatever, without handing out liquid cash and I don't know if it's different but it might be.

At any rate, it's legal. That's what I found out.

No, I'm not doing this, and I haven't done this before. But I decided to check out all the particulars today and talked to the tax people today. I also called around to find out how much to negotiate for, for an allowance, and I tried calling various business that deal with escorts (which is different, but maybe they know?) and some other women's businesses and couldn't find a pat answer. It depends.

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