Bad, bad energy but improving in last few minutes...however

I had some very bad things happen in Walla Walla. It's not even funny.

And although there were so many people doing things, there was still sometimes an even kind of energy. Then tonight it got very very bad.

And then I think I had the impression, maybe unconnected, of men sexually abusing a man, as a form of punishment.

The feeling I had, whether or not this happened, is bad enough that I called over to Wenatchee and asked someone to check on my son, to make sure he's okay. Usually they won't do anything but they said they would tonight and I don't know why.

They were still playing games, with the same woman answering the phone for Rivercom as Misty and then Jenny. At least it sounded like the same person. Everything I'm going through here is getting relayed to Wenatchee.

I was going to go to this place called the redmonkey and then I ended up at a green lantern place just because it's open later, but I wonder if I should have gone to the other place. It's better, the vibe now, but it was very bad before. It's still a little bit bad but slightly better.

I had some really horrible things happen to me today, as well as the last few days.

This woman who purposefully blocked me from leaving this town did this for a reason. I guess people were trying to provoke me on purpose in order to have me follow past response. So I thought I would at least get out of town to the next town, and then keep going, and the whole thing was set up in the sense that I ended up at another house with a Rick and Debbie.

They were nice. But it basically made me feel bad because the woman who refused to allow me to leave was Debbie and she said the new driver's name was "Rick".

I was basically forced to stay in town and then harassed and provoked so someone could attempt to get me to fulfill their wish. I don't blame the people I met later, but I still feel very upset that the first people would even do this to me.

I think the energy is better now though. I was feeling seriously concerned and about my son and then, at least right now, it's cleared up a little bit. So thank goodness. I really wish I knew, or could pinpoint things better. But I'm not good at that.

It sometimes feels like an empathy thing that is more distant. I don't know. I think it's not always my son, but of course, he is who I think of first, always. I can't help it.

Thank you God that it is better right now. I admit I had a shot or two, bc I have to kill time here (first time for shots in the town), but I don't think it's the effects, I do think something is better for someone out there. Don't want it to be bad for anyone really...just truly mean people.

One little thing, but not really big I guess...just a small cool thing, where I think "This is how the psychic gift or intuition is just to enhance things in life"...was that I was talking with some hunter-fisher guys and I said one of them I guessed really liked fishing and more than hunting and he said he loved fishing but about half and half. Then I said, about this other guy, I said, "I see you as really liking to make the campfire!" and the other ones laughed and he grinned and almost blushed. It was sort of cool and I guess it was right. I wasn't trying to be psychic, just fun and social but it was cool and I let them do their guy talk about their expeditions. Maybe it wasn't that big of a deal, but I did look at him and see him really into laying out the sticks and logs and everything for the campfire. I met them because I wanted to call and make sure my son was okay. I started feeling better a little bit later.

I just looked at news. I found something about Taliban leaders meeting and thought it was kind of cool or interesting that I had my hands together in the same way the man on the far left had his hands together. I looked at that and quit doing this with my hands! It's from an MSNBC article at center about their meeting.

I also met a nice taxi guy and just enjoyed talking with him so we drove around for awhile.

I am so tired now though. I have a lot to write about but I went walking for miles instead. I had to get out of town and at least with people driving by, they couldn't sit around and stalk, and had to keep moving. I don't think it was a good idea though. I should have known better. I saw a couple of genuinely concerned. i mean, soft hearted genuine. I felt it was initially better to de-stress by walking than blogging at this point though.

Oh, I guess I will add that I walked through wheat, grass, and then loose dirt. I felt all my country girl roots coming back. Said to myself, see what this girl knows, how to walk through a field...(could have used some wisdom though...yeah, but at least I was sort of like...it's all coming back to me...country stuff)

But I felt bad about some of my reactions today, which were completely out of kilter, but given, I had not slept at all for 3 days straight and had been harassed most of that time and no one really knows how much, and I don't think many are as low already, with their kid wrongly taken and lack of money and work...still...I felt this was purposed, that i go to this town and sort of wished I had never set foot and gone straight to another place, because I had a feeling ahead of time. I still say, somehow, sometimes even wrongs or bad, can be turned into good in some way, eventually. it can be written over, like going over old stuff on a tape. You can record over it, or God can record over it and put his own lean to it, whatever that may be.

I just need sleep. maybe write tomorrow. Sleep now.

I did try to pray for others, sporadically in the day. I did. small little prrayers. I hope it helped someone. I still need to prepare more for the day ahead at the start. but when I had time, I tried to pray a few things.

I will be more pissed tomorrow. Or try to be balanced, but relay some of these things that have happened. It's okay. Some of it though, is seriously fucked up and I really almost wish I had never come here. There were all these ads that said "nooo...it's a set up" but I went and it was screwed up. But I hope will turn around.

Honestly, when I start feeling the better energy, I have to say thank you and relax more.

Oh and by the way, while I have some things to share tomorrow, about what has happened to me today out of, I guess spite and hatred, at the end of the night guess who I was face to face with?

Obama.

Not really. It's just that the door opened and I was going to make a call to my family and the first thing I saw was this photo of Obama on the end of a book spine that said: endeavour to hope and it was between bookends.

I just felt this horrible energy though...at some point it was all negative and then it finally turned around a little, about a half hour ago or 45 minutes ago maybe. I talked to my cousina and started to feel better about 20 minutes later. I did get some impression of something really horrible happening to someone though, so this may have been part of it.

Then google puts out an ad for a therapist. I don't need one. I just need people to act like human beings and be normal and you know it's not when...well, more tomorrow.

I guess what it comes down to, is some seriously mean and vindictive ganging up on me, by a few people who are only trying to disgrace me and make me miserable. The good energy isn't in this bar, it's not that because I felt it bad before. It had to do, I believe, with my son, or someone else.

With a group of people who made it their goal to lure me in and then try to harass me and disgrace me. But I got some plates and info which I'll bring up later tonight, or tomorrow.

For example, I guess, touching on "Debbie". She just despised me. She then went out of her way to harass me and prevent me from leaving town when she knew it would be subjecting me to further harrassment.

Then, I had been forced out of any place to stay, and it wasn't just a few people harassing, it was, for example, every single person that came into the library (almost) that showed up after I was there. At least maybe 40 people came in and they took turns harassing me. This was after being harassed for staying at the Shari's. I have all the plate numbers but will have to do something tomorrow.
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Also, some of the friends of someone who got close to me, just to use me, is not helping. He might be helping my son now and then, but not me or my situation and I feel he's deliberately encouraged others to obstruct justice. he has been honest, with me, I feel, when it's benefitted himself to make it appear as though he is trying to give tips. He is someone who, I could see his real feelings after he wanted to see me in jail and was surprised when my real friend, Geoff, bailed me out. He put on this whole thing of being like Will of Wales but I now realize it more. Geoff is a married man and he and his wife did a huge thing for me when no one else would and I will never forget it. I haven't been with anyone since the one guy, who I was with short term after my fiance and I split. I regretted it and after that, I wasn't with anyone and haven't been but it's not because of having feelings for this guy. If he helps my son, this is good. But there isn't anyone that I know of, where there is some mutually hidden and secret crush or anything. If there is, I don't know who. I sometimes think someone or more than one but don't know who.

I don't walk around, in my day, with a psychic tuner on. I am normal like anyone and it's only if I stop, kneel, pray and focus specifically that I get anything remotely reliable. The other stuff is guesswork and chance. I'm not that gifted in this area. If anyone thinks I walk to different places with myself tuning in to what is going on, I don't. Smoetimes, maybe, but not most of the time because I have to set aside time to get it right.

The reason I've not been with anyone is because I don't have time, I'm focusing on my son, and I don't want to be used as I feel I was last time. So I don't want or need to be a conquest and can do without. Too many people around me would make it a game. I am waiting for someone who is discreet and not about game and is just straightforward and not getting close to me for any personal motivation other than a good one. I still think this doesn't matter when it seems sometimes the same person might be best for my son while I can't see him. So I am happy about that. My son is most important and any safety energy is most appreciated by me, spent on him and I wish I knew better who reaches out the most and makes the most effort because I don't know and I am thankful.

I also felt some good energy today most of the day even though it was a disaster for me personally, I was so tired and harassed, but someone good or something good or positive around.

I feel that whoever benefitted from what happened tonight, did so at my expense, and in a deliberate and illegal way. You don't block someone's right to travel so you can game and steal from others. that's my opinion.

I'll write more tomorrow but maybe something decent for ending this post. maybe about scripture stuff I was reading that as nicely fitting.

I suppose I will bring up how I had read a passage before I panicked and skipped church to walk back in, meekly at the end. It sort of coordinated.

I am so tired though...I don't think I can manage. Not taking the Bible out in a bar either. I could remember some of it but too tired right now.

Today, I looked up random things too. Went from Amish and horse carriages to firen on-whatever, to Beowulf but I never liked the end. Too depressing. Too Thelma and Louise. At church the message was about not calling down fire on people if they disagree with you, which Beowulf is sort about. I wrote down the verses so I could read up later and wanted to see if what I had read earlier matched at all or what I looked at that day at the same time. Just earmarked a lot of cool things.