Of The Day (human rights at end)

Have to write Aunt Mary first after this. She writes the most exquisite letters and I promised her one.

That was before someone drugged my food or drink with (lithium?) and my hair started falling out after stomach cramps.

She asked how I was doing and between being blocked from getting on buses (to leave towns), and no sleep, and being followed and harassed, and possibly drugged, I haven't had a lot of time to get back to the idea of a nice long cheery but realistic letter.

She writes beautiful letters and when I wonder why I remember (just remembered now) that she has her PhD in English Literature.

I accidentally took headphones from the library with me to the restroom when I was going to drop them off at the desk, and when I got out I realized it was already locked up and closed, so I have headphones with me, but don't really need them here. I haven't listened to very much music lately.

As to being drugged, I know I was. I don't know what I was given, but I am positive I was drugged or some kind of medication put into something I ate or drank. I have been under plenty of stress and my hair doesn't fall out in clumps with a comb. Right after I had very severe stomach cramping, which wasn't related to any kind of period or normal problem I have (I never have this as I have a tough stomach) I felt something sort of go to my head too. And then the very next day, it took less than 24 hours, my hair was falling out. When I say falling out, I mean that every time I combed my hair after this, the comb was full of hair, where I would pull it out and it was enough to fill my entire hand. It is a lot of hair that has fallen out. I had plenty of stress so it's not as if it was just a symptom of stress. I guess I had been given something and right after, I had the stomach cramping which was very severe and no other symptom with it (no flu or cold). Right after the stomach cramping, loss of immense amounts of hair.

My thought was lithium because of the symptoms I've read about, but it may have been something else.

At my doctor appointment a few days ago, she wanted to check my feet. I didn't know why. I think now, maybe for edema. She didn't do any kind of nervous system exam, where one draws a metal probe along the sole to check reflex. She just looked at my ankles and feet and noted there was edema but that it wasn't bad. I thought, mainly from the socks I was wearing, and I told her I usually have no problems with edema, no matter how long I am on my feet or walking, but at least I could see my ankles (in that moment).

I paused here, and read a few news items. Looked up my silly stuff, about wardrobes, though I haven't practiced guessing. Just got stuck in the habit of looking now. I wasn't going to go to the british monarchy site at all, but I did, after looking up other things. None of the video clips were titled, just rated with stars. I chose one with a 1/2 star. It was the reception of the people of Quatar. It's the only one I watched and the only one I want to click on. One was enough, or maybe it was the only one I felt I was meant to see.

What I found most amazing, out of all the refinery, were the flowers. This was my favorite part of all of it. There was all of this gold everywhere, and statues, and architecture, and wine glasses all in a row and so many things on such a great scale, but from the crown to the jewels to the dresses and the table, aside from probably some of the people there who are beautiful on the inside, it was the flowers. I loved the arrangements. And then the chair that went back when the people stood to toast--something tells me, intuitively, that it was not accidental. What it means is nothing big, I'm sure, but it wasn't an accident. The only part I didn't like, in the whole clip, was the position of the horse statue next to the Quatar officials' face. Whoever was filming or seating, could have better prevented the effect of a horses' ass next the Quatar guy. Unless it's a great honor, in the country of Quatar, to be photographed or filmed next to a horse ass, I would say it's not the best diplomatic effect. I was disturbed, myself, to go to a restaurant in Spokane that featured a large horse ass statue. I almost turned around and left, but thinking this was expected of me, that I would leave, I went in anyway. Maybe it's a heads & tails shot. Horse tails and Quatar heads. I don't know. I may look at other clips, maybe. Or at the same one. I thought about it. Hmm, no. I don't want to look. I don't want to know more right now, or see more.

So, I'm back to music and my Aunt Mary!

Just saw an ad I don't care for. About white light vs yellow light. I didn't like it. I am trying to find some decent music right now and then writing to my Aunt.

I keep trying to play worship and praise music on lastfm and it keeps trying to redirect me to other stuff. I told God earlier today I would try to think of positive things and instead of asking for things, just praise Him or think of good things God has done. Because, I think, there is a time to communicate and go back and forth and petition God and negotiate and have a conversation, and then there is a time to maybe just thank God and not allow anything else in, except for praise and worship with no other motive. It usually works out that this strengthens all things but the idea is to not have a selfish motive or expect anything other than fortifying what good works and things have been done, and can be done. The other day I was reading how even angels sometimes, get tied up in other business before they are able to attend to the prayers of someone. I think of angels as a kind of invisible soldier and God as captain. Not really sure about all of it, but that's my idea.

I went to youtube. Lastfm wasn't letting me do anything I wanted to do. Wasn't letting me make up my own mind, so goodbye lastfm. I went to youtube and was looking for worship and then the song "Justify" came to my mind. So I clicked on a link to The Rasmus. At the start, terrifying. Scary looking video but the heart of it is normal, thank goodness. I thought, "WHAT have I clicked on? bad luck?" but I don't think so. I think I was supposed to see this before my praise music. from "Black Roses". ? Haven't heard thrasher music in awhile but found Chiodos - The Words ‘Best Friend’ Become Redefined came up next and it's not bad. The piano work at the end is an interesting touch. Then it went to "Celebrity Skin" by Hole. like it. Okay, now to worship stuff and Aunt Mary.

The first one I clicked on: Come Let Us Worship: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9liBXz1zJk
Seek Ye First: http://fooyoh.com/fitness_video/watch/V32mZR3X8Oc

I then had "Blessed Be The Name Of The Lord" come to mind but decided to click on this one first, out of curiosity. It is called The Lord Is A Sun and Shield (william croft).http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rADQMi-eE4 (the crazy cello part made me think of my friend geoff, whose last name resembles rasmus). I was going to then go to the other hymn but was curious about "let thy hand be strengthened" (thinking of being strengthened earlier) so clicked. This one was for George II and the one I just played was for George I. I am somehow going through the Georges. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foaKe9bVwOs&feature=related
Then I clicked on this one, thinking it was the Blessed be the name of the lord (the name of the lord is a strong tower) and got this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FG5lz52_fAY. I got this one next: english accent: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRvQGYnMjBk. I like all of the scripture references in this video. I finally got the one I was thinking of, but all nice digressions prior to finding it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMZu4PjeCp8
Sarabande and Ground: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-ZrcaFJ-Uo
Then heard track 8, andante, sonata in D major by Hubert Parry. from Glory and the Harp by David Watkins.

Jezebel by Sade. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2pFLZIrFqU&ob=av2n

I was looking up something jezebel that I thought billie holiday sang but couldn't find it. found sade and then edith piaf. someone commenting says valdemar matuska's version is best. Too heavy and not what I was looking for. I like the one by sade bc I like everything sade. first i was looking for something jericho and walls and then went to jezebel.

Joshua fit the battle of jericho. Ho Ho. First got a good guitar strummer and then Mahalia Jackson and I would say this is a "big thumbs up": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fY0G_S6ZrtE&feature=related
I cracked up laughing when I saw the thumb (personal inside joke)
baby beluga then came to mind but that reminds me of reading about P. William as "baby whale" and maybe some other fish named vanda. bc then I was thinking about villiam of vales and all w's v's and v's as w's. and then, of course, I was thinking, "get your mind out of the gutter" (is that a pun?) back to worship.
Majesty by Hillsong:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgT67fPmeJg (it's only half the song though).
looking for a song and clicked on this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CzH6Sh7bI0&p=8812B6C63189623F&playnext=1&index=52. this is another one from england. daventry, wherever that is. it sounds like it's better in person, because of the sound. i'm not sure why it was filmed this way, from this angle, either, but who knows. all I know, is that I'm getting this weird psychic impression that someone's eyes are bugging out watching this one. ? don't know why though. I had to look up the wiki on Daventry. It was last modified on my birthday! helloooo BBC. Then it went automatically to this one, the song as sung by teens (had to look up malayalam on wiki after seeing it): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mq1rFdwXW3E&p=8812B6C63189623F&index=54&playnext=2
The next one I got, I had an impression of today, of the hand in the sand drawing a line. I wasn't sure what it was from but maybe this movie. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6wL1IvMuWo&p=8812B6C63189623F&index=55&playnext=3
South African praise: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4g49wRYqihQ&p=8812B6C63189623F&index=56&playnext=4
This was one of my favorite songs as a girl; Debbie Boone's "Be Ye Glad":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTP8dVByrbk
I don't love the video on this one, but I used to sing this song all the time. I guess, all of the Debbie Boone and Amy Grant songs from back then. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1ise7A0CYs
Went to "Something in the water (does not compute)" by Prince (then looked up wiki on Prince). I haven't heard this song before, it's from 1982.
Trying To Throw Your Arms Around The World by U2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0MRgp_9k1Q (I came up with the idea for looking this one up when I closed my eyes after hearing the prince song and got an impression of arms around someone, in a hug--and by the way, I don't need people coming up to me hereafter asking if I need a hug, fyi).
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Majesty by Delirious: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33ySjUMS9dQ
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I felt someone wanted me to look up Eastern Orthodox photos or song about Mary so I am doing this. Looking, out of curiosity, probably a few different sites. Then, to Mary Magdalene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q--bTDTJDNk (this one a chant with a painting that made me think of a cup)
this one beautiful singing (rachmaninov-ave maria): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b629iShZtCA&p=75D81C179C1F46F4&playnext=1&index=71. my favorite part is the highest notes which are in the background. I didn't know if it was that one effect (can't remember the term now, where a note or two are played and then mysteriously a third tone can be heard out of it, or if it was separate parts, but delicate and beautiful). Then there was one following, about the angels of the cross and then one with a preface of "no more war".http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mVKdE9ZEVE&p=75D81C179C1F46F4&index=74&playnext=3. I got some impression of russian language while hearing the ave maria one or right after. then, someone in english saying "oh my god," repeatedly. I looked at a few things which were mary magdalene but not what I was looking for. went to hagia sophia.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyQAZQt9ma0

Looked up hagia sophia on wiki and then a site and never read before that she is sometimes associated with mary magdalene so I suppose it followed that I looked up the hagia sophia after wanting to find something about magdalene. sort of followed. slightly, maybe. http://shawnacohen.tripod.com/thetribaltraditions/id56.html.

I sent my Aunt Mary the link to Rachmaninov's ave maria. and then I looked him up on wiki and was suprised to find what I noticed about the piece also reflects what critics and reviewers have said, about conversation with tone and the "polyphonic dialogue" (?) I think, is what I meant. Yes, I looked it up and that is part of it. The other part is that vocabulary word or term I have forgotten but when this note is not even a separate note or voice, but arises out of a kind of resonance or ring that emanates from the actual voices. I can't remember what this is called. It is the holy spirit, or dove, that rises up from the voices I think, but I can't remember the technical word. I never studied music formally, so I can't be held responsible for my lack of knowledge (?) I hope. There is also a difference between eastern and western music and recognition of notes but this isn't what I mean either...the eastern music sometimes incorporates a half step of a note, not a full note as is on a keyboard, but the halfway point and makes use of it as not either sharp or flat (I don't think) but an actual note. Western composers do not use this, to my knowledge, unless there is new modern music bc it sounds strange to our ears, as if it might be wrong. It makes for diverse music though, I think. I THINK, but I don't know for sure.

I looked for a new indian song that might incorporate this but fell back on my favorite Ganesha stuti, so far. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ax3z77LENQE. I love this one for the innocent voices and the way it crescendos at just the right moment with the change in melody. This one I think someone could even run cross-country to because I can imagine going over a lot of small hills and feeling in rhythm to the flow of this song. It makes me think of a course we ran a few times in Oregon.
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I noticed Osama bin ladin had issued another message sometime when I was writing my post about him (or I think a day before). I am not on his side at all but I was close to saying what he at least said himself. He spoke of an "equation" and I sort of thought the CIA is not too much on the hunt for him bc they know his sentiments are commensurate (or equal to) what he feels has happened maybe with him or the people he cares about. Of course I don't want any conflicts and I don't take sides for him, but I was only saying I believe maybe he's not out for conquest as much as protection. I think there is a difference between conquest or greed, or exterminatoin of people or families, and self defense. I don't think he or anyone should kill Americans because values are different but I don't think this was his original feeling either. I guess I don't know the politics enough. I should stick with learning more from cookbooks right now maybe, and fun things.

Now I know why people told me to think about puppies and butterflies. Sure. I didn't know then that I had a whole arsenal of psychics who wanted to pick my brain. Well, I can say, most of the time, you're wrong! maybe close sometimes, but still wrong.
Washington's Speech to Troops:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41ADglMZ6Eo&feature=fvsr

George Washington's Speech After Busy Schedule (red eye fight):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wC0POEGBT1g

George Washington Rises From The Dead: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkTM3XFDodU&feature=related

Abe Lincoln on House Divided: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrAGZ8LDHi4

International Human Rights Law (The Universal Declaration of Civil Rights): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTlrSYbCbHE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiFIu_z4dM8&feature=related

This one with a comment from someone in the UK who expresses the same concern some have in the U.S., over CPS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpvbO6LSVbM&feature=related

Rights For Children (including freedom from persecution and deprivationn of natural rights by arbitrary CPS action and stalling by U.S. Judges, courts, and public defenders)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixjACBvv2mE&feature=related

Song About Rights: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITw6Ci1j7FA&feature=related

UNICEF (children's rights): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPWr6Eg_dC4&feature=related
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I post these links, and watch them and wonder how in the world what has happened with me and my son is allowed to continue.

If we are really going by the Declaration of Human Rights, which includes the right to be free from torture, my son and I never would endure what we've been through. If we are entitled to security, then the right people would, or will, step forward to investigate and protect these rights. If we are going by the law, which prohibits discrimination, probably what happened in Wenatchee regarding housing never would have happened. Most likely, what I have been subjected to recently and in the last trip I took, would amount to "degrading treatment" at the very least. Probably, while looking up these posts and this evening, while on the computer, I wouldn't have been subjected to what amounts to torture, and probably, anyone who was able to determine which mechanism was responsible for this, would destroy the equipment and all facilities used to create such problems and conditions. And I don't need to elaborate on that point. If we are talking about Star Wars, then fine. If not, fine. I think it is clear that someone is holding powerful information in their hands, which they are going to be responsible for using in a manner that is consistent with laws, natural rights, and regard for the free will and rights that God has given all people. Probably, if someone or some group was interested in human rights, they would respect the right of someone to travel freely without hindering my movement. Probably, my son and I would have been free from defamation and a chase into Canada went we had a right to leave and a right to seek freedom from persecution as well, wherever that may have been. Probably, if people who support agencies like UNICEF and UN, were serious and not hypocritical about their support, they would not do to me and my son, what has been done. Probably, I would have been free from false arrest and harassment, which has interfered with my and my son's healthcare and with my employment and also my legal affairs and college, on every count.

Watching these videos, about human rights, is beautiful and inspiring. It helps me, when I am away from the trivial things I have to deal with here, to recognize who I am again and what good I would like to do. It helps me to feel like a normal person to engage in what I love and find the things I care about: music, art, political rights and laws, and that kind of thing. Then, I step away and I get dragged down again.

Then I read the comments under the UN ads, and it is true, that these are right laws and yet there is no one to enforce them. Politics still play and people still choose to ignore situations. In my case, the same group that might act heavily concerned about civil rights, and be involved in the ACLU or possibly a branch of UN (not the whole thing but maybe domestically), could be the very same group that targets me and harasses me and provides no assistance. Some of the "do-gooders" like to do good for only the people they believe are not really "equal" but sufficiently beneath them.

If the courts and Judges are paying attention to the Declaration of Human Rights, my son would not still be waiting for an injunction in order to visit his mother, and in order to bring in evidence to clear his mother entirely and vacate all orders bc of crime and lack of jurisdiction of State workers.

I watch things about children's rights, for UNICEF, having been a daycare and nanny provider almost my entire life and having worked with youth until I was in college (later in life) and I find myself agreeing and feeling like part of a whole again and then I realize what madness it is, that I have been so put down, I am beneath any semblance of my true character or identity. Everything about me has been stripped away, and even my own confidence to the degree that I am suprised at how I still feel part of the whole that crusades for children's rights. How is this possible, that I have this much book knowledge, and hands-on experience, and devotion and love of my own child who was horribly traumatized by separation from me...how is this even POSSIBLE? in a just society or working justice system?

This system and these Judges, U.S. attorneys, and CPS workers, are altogether corrupt. CORRUPT.

There is no possible way that what has happened, could happen to ME, if this were not the case.

It is impossible to kidnap a child and collude with even another country's intelligence and personnel, unless the corruption is out of control. And for this to happen to me, with my record of not having taken drugs, not being an alcoholic, never harming or abusing another person, and having an amazing record with children, is outstanding.

It is not possible unless there is a large amount of money and corruption tied together. It is also not possible unless there has been a fair amount of hatred which was used to drive all of this.

I do not buy that any part of this was God's will, or was good intention. It was foul from the start.

And also, it was impossible. Yet, groups with power and money acheived the very impossible thing, and were able to not only get away with torture of me and my child in East Wenatchee, but then to defame me and kidnap my child and then hold both of us hostage by refusing work, housing, and falsely arresting me and stealing everything I owned.

I was told it would be "impossible" to get my son back. Why? Because, I think they realized, that the "impossible" had already occured--a group had managed to solicit the help of neighbors to defraud taxpayers and public institutions by disobeying civil and criminal laws.

It IS NOT possible, for what has happened, to have happened, without corruption. Money. Money, incentives, and personal bribes and rewards went into this one. Probably, torture of some as well, so they were "reminded" that if they didn't go along, they too would be called "crazy" and lose their jobs or families.

I watch things about UNICEF for kids, knowing I am a great candidate for such programs, and then think how ironic and ludicrous it is that my son was ever taken and that this many people have LIED and tried to rub "The Truth" or philosophies of, in my face.

I think how ironic it was, to sit in the hearings, or visitation, with monitors who know less about parenting than I do; with parenting evaluators who didn't even know the basics about Dr. Spock, attachment parenting, or any of the child development specialists. That woman could not even give the definition for what "attachment parenting" was. I sat there, a better mother than any and every single woman in that room, and with more knowledge than all of them combined.

Knowing this, and knowing God knows this, and yet they have been allowed to act like catty military she-wolves and abuse their authority on every single level there is to abuse authority on.

These were not mothers. None of them. And none of those men were fathers.

Not one person throughout the case with my son was a true mother or father. They were sheep, following a bad shepherd.

I know, in my heart of hearts, that while AG McIntosh claimed I was mentally ill and sneered at my mention of God, she loathed and hated me. But she loved her country! She loved her country as long as it was the silver spoon for her mouth. She did not and does not love her country as I do, for the laws and precepts it was founded on, and not out of selfish and ego driven greed.

Not one of the public defenders I had, paid by the government, loved God, his or her "country" or the law. They loved themselves and put themselves and their own interests above their client, above a 4 year old (then 2 and on to 4) child, and me. They demonstrated, by cheating, lying, defaming, and perjuring themselves, that they were the scum that this country employs and no one does anything about.

It is the scum that are in power.

And as long as scum are controlling things, the good will be oppressed.