Working Up To It & "A Cause of Action"

I'm going to blog about other things until I work up to writing about the other things.

I posted a comment from someone about a New Jersey man who called in, about continued MK-Ultra style work that is ongoing so I did a preliminary search into locations, however, most headquarters or locations would be all over the place. Where records are stored though...my guess is where, if you don't want to get caught and sanctioned, probably offshore. I highly doubt all the records were simply destroyed. They wouldn't do all that work for nothing. They'd move stuff and maybe shred a few pieces to give appearance of, well, if missing, destroyed and not still around and being used for reference.

I was at this lawyer's office a few days ago and asked them if I could take something, a booklet, of stories of legal cases where lawsuits had made a difference and a positive change. One of the stories, was horrific, the first one, about a bunch of boys being systematically abused at an orphanage. It had nothing to do with any religious organization, but was like a boys' home where, actually, DSHS in Washington State was held a a liable party and sued.

It is called "A Cause of Action: Washington Families Search for Justice" and is a project of the Washington State Trial Lawyers Association. I guess it was compiled by the law association in 1997.

The story that was so horrific was one about the "O.K. Boys Ranch" and the article is titled "A Breach Of Duty."

The only parts I've read are this article and then I read the very back, about someone who committed suicide after a major Boeing chemical negligence suit and how this one woman believe she killed herself (better language than 'committed suicide' probably), after "years of workplace intimidation and harassment, coupled with her chemical poisoning."

That's all I read and then I had to take a nap in the middle of the afternoon again because seriously, I must still be anaemic somehow because I'm fine all day but really crash, like I need a major siesta, in the afternoons. So I was lying there and I didn't pray or anything, not really, but I sort of maybe asked God one really quick question, not in prayer mode but "God, if I turn to something in this book will one of these stories apply to me?" and I hadn't looked through it at all though I've been carrying it around.

I flipped the book open and looked and it was a story about medical malpractice. I turned right to page 28 which is titled "With The Strength Of Family" and at first thought, how does that apply to me when I feel isolated from my own family? but then I read underneath: "Ten years after their medical negligence lawsuit settled, a close-knit Seattle family continues to cope with the special needs of one family member." It is about childbirth trauma. I couldn't believe I turned to this. As I was reading, I learned new things...that after a heart-rate drops past a certain point, it is required that an emergency C-section is performed, which, in my case, wasn't done, even though the attending nurse got extremely nervous and was panicky herself. Instead, they then forced it and tore us both up.

Turning to this, for me, was like turning to the article about domestic abuse. It was an eye-opener of how God can validate me, at any given moment, and gives me reassurance that He is on my side, even if others are fighting not just me and my son, but His Will.

I feel my son and I could relate to this story and also to the story about the Boys Ranch.

The difference is, with the story about the boy affected by childbirth damages and medical negligence, is that it wasn't just this. Other things later affected both me and my son and it wasn't from the original negligence. But then, things just continue to be covered up so it's ongoing. It would almost seem as though there are gangs that covered for others who had more money and didn't want to be sued for medical negligence and had people to call on to cause further harm. I've been told, if true, that a lawsuit on behalf of even just my son, could be a very big deal.

What it also brings to mind, for me, is that the law putting a cap on punitive damages in the State of Washington, needs to be revoked. When it's an "accident" or sheer negligence, the damages award is going to be reasonable, and most juries would be reasonable. However, if a jury discovers a lot of cover up and retaliation, that drives up the cause for requesting punitive damages. It is the right of a jury to really slam any facility or organization that engages in this kind of behavior and those who lobby AGAINST this provision, are not interested in protection of public interests but in the interests of those on the top of the food chain and that's it.
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I met one person and I won't say anything except that his name began with A. and when we'd talked a short time I got the word "traditionalist" but wasn't sure what it meant to him. One of those things where I didn't/don't know, but I thought maybe he would and he said yes, that at least some of his culture and food, this pertained.

I had come back to my table with a ton of books. I sort of thought I would pick out some books at random, where led, and maybe de-stress that way for awhile. I first was going to find some tarot cards, just for no reason, and got the rider-waite ones even though the other day I saw the return of the italian ones I like, but didn't want to get into it when I have all this stuff going on with my son.

I guess it was interesting I met this one guy, because the first thing I saw was this book with his name on it when I sat down and I looked at it for awhile.

So i got the cards and then was looking for a Bible and went to the wrong aisle but there was religion there so I randomly looked and found the JPS Tanakh unpside-down and then some book of fiction on something about the Heart and a woman who rebuilds life after The Civil War. Didn't want fiction, so I then pulled out a book of Eckhart Tolle since it's come to mind "oneness wiith all life" and also "angels a to z" by matthew bunson, and one I went to randomly and I guess it was the one I picked out right after the first one of tanakh, was one called "the blood of lambs" and I pulled it out and it was about a former terrorist who was trained by age 7...kamal Saleem. Then I found another one which I didn't really care for but kept anyway: divine encouragement--living with the presence of hope." Then got something about dummies on gnostics bc I don't know anything about it, and then "the atlas of the lost cults--and mystery religions" by david douglas and then the liturgy of the hours and then I also got the kabbalah code to skim briefly bc I've had people bring it up. I told this guy back there, worker, that I will have to learn a little about some of the other religions...asian ones sometime, even if I know what I believe, to just know about the other ones is good for a better understanding of the world and people in general, I think. I looked at one on saints too, a catholic one I might go back and look at since I'm interested in heairng about examples of psychic or spiritual phenomena. And then I got a NKJ Bible. I flipped through the one on saints and saw one on Gonzaga, and Catherine of Sienna for nurses, and then John the Baptist which is mainly the one I looked at. But I didn't ask first, if I picked it up, what to apply to me or would reference. It reminded me though, of this book about Theresa of Lisieux "The Little Flower" I found one day when I was younger which I kept. I read it. I was younger and I think it was from my parents, from a stack of old antique books they'd found in a house they bought. And then I was reminded today, when someone wrote about use with MK-Ultra, of language, how I used to write words in the English/UK style and got marked down for it.

I did it because I was reading English novels and they spelled "gray" "grey" and "humor" "humour" and so I used the same and remember a MASSIVE argument blow-out I had with my teacher. "This IS right!" I said and she said, "NO, it's NOT!" Color-Colour. I kept insisting and she gave me bad grades for poor spelling and I had to come in with a book I think and SHOW her and then she said, "This is not ENGLAND." I don't think she even KNEW there were other ways, in the ENGLISH (composite) language, of spelling the same word.
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One other coincidence to report. Yesterday I was eating at that restaurant and sat at the table, after eating, with my hands under my chin and listening. He paid the bill or was looking at something else and I looked behind me and I had not even seen this, but it was a huge photo of Audrey Hepburn, from Breakfast At Tiffany's, with her hands under her chin the exact same way I had had mine. I thought, "what?!" and put my hands in my lap. When we walked in I didn't see it because it wasn't exactly behind but to the right and I didn't notice. But it was behind me, when we sat, and then from behind my shoulder it was to my left. She had both of her hands in fists and then tucked, next to eachother, under her chin, elbows resting on a counter. It was sort of strange.
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Okay, I'll ask God to maybe give me something random from the picture book of saints first. None of this is serious though--i take it with a grain of salt unless something really stands out very strongly and really hits the mark in a way I know isn't random.

Oh, I also decided to pull out this book with a portrait that caught my attention from a distance and found it was Leonardo da Vinci and it's of a woman with a band across her forehead and she's holding a white ferret. Will find title in a minute.

I opened up to"Saint John Baptist De la Salle"--patron of educators. Page 43 and a picture of his hand on the heads of young children, one on the head of a young boy with brown hair, looking down at him as the boy looks up at him. I guess a lot of John the Baptist stuff. That one and then the first one I noticed was the other John the Baptist and then this guy I met who came in, A., told me about a Baptist church and then I just opened the Leonardo book to look up the name of the portrait of the woman and as I was turning pages, I found the painting my son loved so much when he was very, very, small, a young baby. It was the only one he was just fascinated by, and I knew it was of John the Baptist but just found out it is done by Leonardo! So then continued on and found the woman is called "Lady With An Ermine." I guess it's not a "ferrett" and then on the next page there is some other drawing about "The ermine as a symbol of purity." Sort of curious now.

As for the picture book of saints, will try a couple more randomly. It was interesting to me because on the opposite side was a "Bellarmine" guy and I have HAD this NAME, something about it come to mind and here it is a saint too but he was really mean I think, to Protestants--Jesuit...I don't know but it's not worded very nicely. I wonder if there has been someone against me who imagines themself or did, to be some kind of enemy against me in this way? but I wouldn't know really.

Will look once again, and see what I get the next 2 times. Well, I got St. Augustine and I've read his first account works. And then 3rd was John of Eudes. So that's all for that. The one which my son liked is:

Well, it's certaintly a John the Baptist day of sorts, because I went back to the book to find the title again and I got a different one of a baptism by John, and a dove about it, and it's sandwiched inbetween a couple of other pictures. The one I just got again was "The Baptism of Christ" by da Vinci an Del Verrocchio. But the one my son likes, and the one I prefer as well, is oh, NO, it's not Da Vinci. It's
by Piero della Francesca, The Baptism of Christ, c. 1440-1445. Tempera on wood panel, 167x116 cm. The National Gallery, London.

Does Oliver have a good eye or what?

I don't think I ever knew the artist who did this. We discovered it in a DK book on art history and I showed him different things and this was one that he just studied for a very long time and so long, I thought it was unusual. He was able to spend a long time concentrating on things most babies wouldn't focus on...here and there. It depended upon what caught his interest.

I didn't think it was that great then, but I remembered because of his own interest. Then, I look at it now and the way that dove is is the same way I had the image of it above me that one day. It was suspended like that, and wings out, in the middle. I look at this painting now and think it has a good balance. Colors are alright but I like how the trees and sky take up space and balance and then I like how he is stnading in a river. As an untrained eye, what stands out to me is balance. Which, given my other issues with indecision and right-left brain and hand issues, makes sense for a Libra to notice. Scales of balance. Which is maybe why I liked the "High Priestess" in the cards, between pillars of justice and mercy, and why I liked the idea of holding up a finger with one hand and smoking a cigarette with the other (pissed vs tranquil). haha.
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Okay, going to the Tanakh. I got the passage I was made to type over and over and over, the whole Chapter of "a time for everything", from Ecclessiastes. It was typing class and I had a huge manual iron typewriter. Everytime I talked in class or passed a note, the type teacher made me type this out.

Just opened randomly and I got 2 Sam. at "In reply, the king said to the woman, "Do not withhold from me anything I ask you!"

WELL NOW! that is quite a reversal of the king telling the woman he will give HER whatever SHE wants, up to half the kingdom.

It goes on: The woman answered, "Let my lord the king speak." It's from 2 Sam. 14:18. That's the only part I got to read. It wasn't the whole thing like Ecclessiaste, my eye to one part alone.

Every man thinks he is king.

So, next one...and last one from this book. It is Daniel. I got it from the part where it says "let Daniel now be called to tell the meaning of the writing." It goes on to how he interprets the dream of a king. Beginning with Daniel 5:12.
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From the Divine Encouragement book I didn't pray first, but just opened randomly. It is on page 39 and says, (12):
"If you find a flower beckoning you or a tree or a vista, see that as a portal, as a beckoning friend, as an entrance to the depth of its beauty. Follow the invitation in your mind which is a portal opener; and journey into the beauty i have given you. You will meet Me there as well. The secret of this simplicity ist ht all beauty, including your own, is from the same author. You are gifts within gifts, and I have made it possible for My gifts to know one another."

Now I guess I will pray first...and try for the second one!

I got page 59, (11--I guess different sections) and this one really means a lot, though the first too, and fits me in its simplicity because I love nature and flowers:

"The world invites you to look, to know, to gain for yourself, as if information or technology is your possession rather than a revelation.

To dismiss the child from your vision as too many are wont to do in your time, is to ultimately lay yourselves blind, deaf and dumb to your own preciousness, thus furthering the exile of life itself from your consciousness. To shield yourself from children, and to wall wall them and their souls from you is to abandon the truth of your DESTINY (emphasis mine), for all the generations teach one another in every form of budding and ripening."

Oh, by the way, I was faced with Laura Bush when I prayed for this passage so maybe it's for her too.
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I'll do one from Eckhart Tolle's book: I got page 63, on ego. Interesting since I'm interested in humility (in proper measure).

It says:
"One day I waill be free of the ego: I will awaken." Who is talking? The ego. To become free of the ego is not really a big job but a very small one. All you need to do is be awarre of your thoughts and emotions--as they happen. This is not really a "doing," but an alert "seeing." In that sense, it is true that there is nothingn you can do to become free of the ego. When that shift happens, which is the shift from thinking to awareness, an intelligence far greater than the ego's cleverness begins to operate in your life." It's from Chapter 4, (just looked) which includes excerpts on the topic of "Awakening". It is from a compilation of writings from "A New Earth". This is a really pretty book...it's the "Treasury Edition" and has a nice palette of colors for the topics.
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Okay, I have now the book "Angels A to Z" (actually, this is pretty encouraging so far...I am enjoying this.) by Matthew Bunson. I think I'll just pray and ask for only one or two. Maybe 2.

I got an Angel I've never heard of. Page 194. Na'aririel YHWH. Sounds like Ariel in a way. But this is what it says about this angel:

"An angel appearing in the Third Book of Enoch and ranked as one of the mighty princes of heaven. It is said that when the angel prince Atrugiel beholds him, he removes his crown and falls prostrate; likewise, when Na'aririel sees Sasnigiel, he removes his crown and falls prostrate."

That's all it says. Will have to look up more later. I have never heard of this angel but lately I've been praying and asking God's literal angels for protection for me and my son so I'm interested or curious.

I looked at Stephen King tapes as prayed for the angel. hahaha. Not thinking about horror or Stephen King though. Next one...have to pray first. This one is called "Israfel" or "Israfil": This one has a long explanation:

..."One of the great angels in Islamic lore, honored as the angel of the Last Judgement or angel of the Resurrection. At the end of the world, Israfel will descend to the earth, stand upon the holy rock in Jerusalem, and blow the awesome trumpet that will awaken the dead from their slumber and summon all who have ever lived to come forth and be judged. The trumpet in question is an enormous animal horn with uncounted honeycombs or cells in which all of the dead sleep. Described as possessing 4 wings, he is said to be covered with hair and a host of mouths, his impressive appearance matched by his incredible height; he is so tall that he is able to reach from the earth to the very pillars of heaven. A beautiful angel and the master of music, Israfel sings the praises of God not just in Arabic, but in a thousand different tongues; the Lord is so touched by his singing that he uses the very breath of Israfel to inject life into hosts of angels, who themselves take part in the ceaseless singing of Allah's praises.
While ot named specifically in the qur'an, Israfel is nevertheless counted as one of the 4 angels who will be destroyed at the end of the world. He is also thought to have appeared and given assistnace and counsel to Muhammad in the time of the Prophet's formation; the work of Israfel was later taken over by gabriel, the angel who is honored as revealing to Muhammad the Qur'an. Israfel is also ranked with Michael and Gabriel as the angels sent by God from heaven to gather dirt from across the earth with which Adam was to be made. He thus shared in the failure of the angels in extracitng it from the earth (the world refused to yield up its dirt because it knew that humanity would turn away from the Lord and it preferred to avoid the whole sorry event). Returning empty-handed to heaven, the 3 angels were replaced by Azrael, whose success earned him the post of the angel of deth. With Michael and gabriel, he is said to have been dispatched to warn Abraham of the impending destruction of sodom and Gomorrah, although the 3 visitors to Abraham's camp are often thought to be God himself. Perhaps the most touching story about Israfel is the one that displays his deep compassion. According to this, Israfel looks down into hell six times a day and is so striken with horror and grief and the plight of the damned souls that he begins to weep. His tears are so numerous and his weeping so intense that Allah must stop the flow lest the entire world is flooded. Edgar Allan Poe wrote in the poem "Israfel":
In heaven a spirit doth dwell
Whose heart-srings are a lute;
None sing so wildly well
As the angel Israfel,
And the giddy stars (so legends tell)
Ceasing their hymns, attend the spell
Of his voice, all mute...

I will go for one more!

From page 190, I got "Music" See box on pages 192-193. I don't know who the angel is for this yet...

It is a separate section all on its own. It is headed with the title "MUSIC" and follows:

One of the most overlooked facets of the lives of angels, music forms a vital part of the duties and activities of all the members of the heavenly host. On a cosmic scale, the angels take part in the so-called Music of the Spheres, the harmonious sound that emanates from the throne of God, is echoed by all parts of Creation, and is joined by the music and singing of the 9 choirs. This profound image was presented in literary form by the renowned fantasy author J.R.R. Tokien in his work The Silmarillion, in which Eru, the One, leads his angel-like creations, the Valar, in an incomparable piece of music that is finally marred by the proud and stubborn independence of the Valar, Melkor, who becomes Morgoth, the father of evil.

There is a so-called Angel of Music, the resident of heaven who is patron over all aspects of things musical. According to the Muslims, the angel of music is Israfel, best known as the angel who will blast the trumpet at the end of the world.

Another angel named to the post is Uriel, who may have authority over the choirs of angels who sing eternally in praise of God. (see singing, angelic).

Much as angels would seem to have phenomenal language skills, by virtue of the will of God, so too do they possess remarkable abilities in the playing of musical instrument. Their supposedly favorite instrument is the harp, but artists have portrayed them using everything from trumpets and horns to violins and drums. While virtually any instrument can be played by anels, in art, at least, they choose the more delicate and lovely music makers, eschewing such ungainly pieces as the tuba or glockenspiel. (This is nt to say that an angel hoping to assist some mortal could not, if it so chose, play an instrument close to the human's heart, be it a harp, a saxophone, a bagpipe, or even a kazoo.)

Angels have also been the objects of music themselves. For example, they figure prominently in Christmas carols and are the subjects of classical adn modern composers. Angels were mentioned in Gregorian chant and the sacred music of the Church, especially in the pieces for the Christmas season and the Missa de Agngelis. Among the classical composers writing angel related works are Liszt (Dante Symphony and the Mephisto Waltz), Prokofiev (Third Symphony), Mahler (Second and Third Symphonies), Wagner (Der Engel), Schumann (Faust), and Verdi (Giovanna d'Arco). Even modern composers and musicians have ponderred about angels. Elvis Presley, for example, lamented in one song:
"Youu walk like an angel;/you talk like an angel;/But my, oh my;/You're like the Devil in disguise!" On the other hand, a band called the Heights, speaking for everyone, asked in a song: "How do you talk to an angel?"
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I think I'll leave it at that for my angel messages today. It was meaningful to me. Out of all the angels, to get so much about music is cool to me. I will have to research more about the first one, about the crown and being prostrate and taking it off, which one that is. Supposedly a mighty one.
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hahahah!! I just went back to my table to get another book to pray over and find something from, and I stood there and took a drink of water and my eyes went to this book I hadn't seen or noticed "The Great Awakening" by Wallis". hahaa. I am not kidding. It's a longer name than that but someone I think put a sticker over it. Funny though. Wallis is alive! I am not even going to joke more than that or I will be ToASTADAS by tommorrow.
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There is a Liturgy of The Hours and it smells like incense. I picked it up and there are cards inside and the book opens up to page 744. There is an invitory and then an Office of Readings with a Hymn, then Psalmody "I love you, Lord; you are my strength." and then Psalm 18:2-30 Thanksgiving for salvation and victory. I'll have to read this whole day next time because I will want to pay attention and focus and right now it's almost closing so I can't. It was published in 1975.
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Going to Zondervan "Handbook to the Bible" bc it's easier to find something quick. Maybe 5 things:
1. First one I opened up straight to is--Solomon's Temple and it's successors by Alan Millard, page 279. There are several sections to read for this item. 2 pages. Will do it later.
2. Opened straight to "Jesus and the kingdom" by David Field, page 563.
3. Got "A substandard priesthood" from 186 but it's a whole section about priesthood.
4. Got pg. 687: About Israel.
5. Got a photo of what looks like an enormous rock but I read the heading and it is Mt. Sinai.
6. One more for good measure and will do rest of my studies in depth later: Got a photo of a man wearing purple and turquoise? praying on his knees at the foot of a temple of some kind. It's in a section for Psalms, pg. 371 and I think it's to represent prayer and reading psalms.
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I am setting aside books.
For my last thing, I took the Bible, regular Bible and I got 2 Chronicles: 18:13
"And Micaiah ssaid, "As the Lord lives, whatever my God says, that I will speak."