There Goes Carol Smith, friend of Mykal Holt

I hope I didn't see what I think I just saw but I think I did. I went to a church to find this woman who said I could stay with her but maybe it was another of those gdiscovery things, to keep me monitored until someone could try to get rid of me.

Carol Smith showed up to get rid of my Ex, Alvaro, and she was directly connected to Mykal Holt, who not only slept with my Ex, but did her best to slam me and then lie about me and put "alien" crap all over her house. I saw Carol nodding off to Mykal Holt one day when she was giving me a ride.

So now, I walk by and I think that it was Carol, I am sure, who just drove off, ignoring me when she saw me and I had my glasses off.

There was also another guy connected to Mykal Holt who had the same photo Holt had on her refrigerator, on HIS fridge. And he gave me stuff to eat that affected my system. I went to the church one time and that's when it was the big "King" day and they had some rabbi there with a yamika and I said, "What is

oing on?" and they said it was a special speaker and then this nasty old woman was behind the counter serving coffee and was she ever a beeatch. I never am mean to elderly, so I was nice and polite even though she just went on and on and on and grilled me and had this Star of David charm on and asked me "How many languages do YOU know?!!!"

Some of the people were nice and looking back, but they all did NOT want me with my Ex when it possibly could have helped me get my son back. I decided I didn't want to be with my Ex again after I realized he'd had me medicated with some kind of birth control or something that tapered off my periods to nothing and didn't tell me about it.

Alvaro liked me, against his own will. And then some assholes got in there and screwed up something that could have actually been decent. I went to his birthday party and discovered his newest mistress and saw, at that party, who was behind it. I still remember the couple, dancing to the right side of the room when I was dancing in the middle torwards the front. They were Jewish and they were smirking right after I saw him kiss this woman behind my back and texted something about "true blue" which I think they found hilarious because they knew how everyone was connected and didn't think I knew. I told Alvaro, "If you think I'M a honeytrap you are so wrong. How do you know other people aren't trying to set YOU up?" and I knew they were. They were trying to screw with a situation they didn't like because some were afraid I was in the way, in some regard.

They decided to try to have me JAILED for federal offenses over there--my own Ex was the only one who knew I was going to the courthouse one day to file for harassment by the landlord that knocked the hell out of my back to the point that I couldn't work. And I got my laptop from a U.S. federal communications contractor for the Dept. of Defense and CIA and when we separated, I was paid a visit by the Dept. of State for foreign relations.

I WANT MY SON BACK.

Supposedly, I was going to NYC after I was engaged to Alvaro. Why, I don't know, but I wondered. I had people from all kinds of countries, either wanting to groom me for something big, or trying to tear me down with all their claws out.

I was the nicest person in the whole thing. I lied about ONE thing, and that was to wait a little to figure out more of what was going on, with papers, but that was it.

And then I have people trying to fucking kill me.

I didn't know if I was being groomed to be mistress for one of the English royalty or if I was just alternately being set up to be trashed. All these people, everywhere, keeping tabs on me for every little thing.

One man shook my hand on the subway in D.C. and said "See you in Canada in 2 years."

He's the one who noticed that I used my left hand to shake his hand and I noticed that HE noticed. I remembered thinking, "What does he mean I'll be in Canada in 2 years? Is the implying I'm losing my son and will just resort to Canada? or that there is some exchange going on and I will go to Canada, with my son and a husband in 2 years?"

So 2 years goes by and this state and people here have acted like pieces of shit. I had some people who WANTED me to marry him, maybe to get me out of the way in another form. The only time people from the U.S. govt. higher up treated me well, or even on a state level, was if Alvaro was interested in me. If Alvaro wanted me, I must be treated with care and my son as well. If not, I was a piece of shit to kick around.

These state people were going to supposedly set me up with a psych evaluation from the very start and help me clear my name and when I separated from Alvaro, I was a piece of shit all over again. If I was with him, they felt I was under his control or someone's control I guess.

Then, for months I had people sucking up to me and stalling on my time and pretending to be nice but just trying to get close or keep me distracted and occupied.

I had these Wenatchee and state workers back out on every single thing they said they were going to do regarding my son, to punish me over not signing those papers with Alvaro and then I had a different group trying with all their might to keep it from happening and putting women in his path and other things, to draw him away.

After we separated, hideous things, hideous, have happened to me and my son. My son especially and my family has been threatened that he'll be removed from our famly completely I guess, if they don't go along because they know I certaintly won't go along.

And then anytime I started getting into Princess Di research or had any insight at all about William, Charles, or Henry or any of them, someone decides to strip me of everything and turn up the juice and torment me and my son.

I kept calling my Ex at one point, just to see if he would get it to stop. So it worked sometimes. I could call him and something would change. But then it went back to the same thing and then my own father, and total strangers, and even Alvaro, they were all saying "it's too late".

I'd like to know what the fuck was too late. And then I'm wondering if Alvaro is just stalling and wants me to call all the time so he can make me later look sort of obsessive or something and yet when he was drunk he admitted and he was not lying, that he preferred me to anyone else.

But my son and I have been yanked around and tortured, and for WHAT?

I had lawyers screwing me over and other people going out of their way to trash me so badly I was completely undesirable in any way, to anyone, as a mother, as a potential girlfriend, or ANYTHING. And then torturing me to the point that I am then writing about it and sounding nuts again and literally being harmed and aggistated because of what was happening...and no proof...until I put up a couple of photos that at LEAST show how my legs were red and swelling up, just like I said. I didn't lie or make up ANY of that. And the Red Cross over here doesn't even want my blood? when I have no STDs or anything? These fuckers have KNOWN what is going on.

So maybe, what happened, was that someone tried to make me look so bad, that they figured I was pretty much not getting anywhere with a man OR with my son and I was so disgraced that something had to be done to "save face" for anyone who was originally interested in me to begin with. I mean, HOW EMBARRESSING to have wanted someone that looks like HER who has NOTHING (except a fucking good brain and heart and a lot of shit on others).

My own lawyers took money and stalled to ALLOW trash to be written about me and not allow me to even be able to defend myself.

There are sick people out there, who try to cover up the truth and do a lot of shitty favors for others. And in my case, a lot of money has gone into trashing the hell out of me.

There is nothing wrong with me except for trauma over what has happened with my son and some of the constant defamation and harassment. Otherwise, no, I cannot represent myself in this case but I could have worked and can work, if given a chance, and I get excellent grades in college and want to continue education, and I'm decent looking even when I am tortured, made to see my son tortured, and then forced out of even basic fucking housing.

If I'm counting my blessings there might be ONE:
Thank you God that no one was able to screw me over and put me in federal prison for 10 years to keep me out of someone's way.

Instead I got sent to Wenatchee jail more than once, after and before separating from my ex, for things I didn't do and lost the one good job offered to me at sort of a 5 star place on the harbor in Seattle. It was probably the only way I was going to make my own money and help myself and my son out, indepedently. And these fuckers come in and JAIL me beforre my training day, and DESTROY evidence of good visits with my son too, which proved people were lying about my visits not going well.

There was a guy with a British accent at that dance for the Birthday Party. I have a very good memory, still, which is a miracle, and I said to him, laughing, "Everything is so fucked up" and I think he knew what I was talking about. If he remembers which part of the room we were dancing on, the people who thought it was so hilarious that they were trying to screw me over, were to the left. The DJ was straight ahead and I remember a couple with a lot of interest in me, dancing to the left of me and sort of laughing when they knew I was upset about this other woman. That woman was a honeypot if I ever saw one. And yet even after he'd been with her he was saying I was different and that some women can be very beautiful and still, have something that is missing.

But then it was strange bc we were in Seattle and people nodding to him and he knew or didn't doubt someone at the University of Washington had tampered with and altered my medical records.
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So what was "too late"? someone got pregnant? someone decided to abort plan and jump ship? something happened to someone who really cared about me? a group who was deceived changed their minds about me? money was stolen? what the FUCK was too late that made it impossible for me to get my own SON back? someone decided they were going to have to be in love with someone they didn't weren't really in love with? someone fell in love unexpectedly? someone backed out because of fear? intimidation? i was too old to be with someone who was working for the CIA, FBI, or MI5? I was too old to bear children for the Kingdom? Canada had second thoughts? I lost my voice when someone tortured me in Bainbridge and Seattle so now I couldn't make someone money as a singing diva? Someone lost interest or was forced to lose interest?

I want to know what the FUCK happened.

One thing I DO know is that a lot of my medical records have been stolen and altered and I've had groups who have to be putting a ton of money into keeping me high and dry and making me as low as possible, as a favor to others.

If I wrote about politics, screwed. If I wrote about religion, screwed. If I wrote about suing people because of what happened to my son and about what seemed like constant, strange, surveillance of my life on a grand scale, screwed. If I wrote about Di or even tried to look into Di, people all over my ass out of the woodwork wanting to know this and that and what do I think and who do I know. If I look up other royals, screwed and slammed and tortured more so I sound like a nut. If I write about Hanford, which I now think was something this guy-spy from Virginia WANTED me to mention so I'd have even more heat on my ass, screwed. I have nervous lawyers approaching me in Seattle saying, "What do you know about Hanford?" and biting their nails and adjusting their ties. Then, some people, before fucking trying to take my voice away like some epic horror movie, didn't even want to let me sing at a club in downtown Seattle! These people didn't want me to stand out in a GOOD way, EVER. They wanted to rip off my shit but no one wanted me to get ahead in anyway on my own, and that trumpet player there, who I didn't know, was at least one person who DID know. Thank God some people KNOW. He was the last person to hear me sing the way I used to be able to sing.

It wasn't the cigarettes either. I smoked for a total of 2 months and tapered for another half a month. I also learned I am most definitely NOT an "addictive" personality type because I was able to be fully addicted and then get off of it on my own, even though I was up to 6-8 a day and very stressed.

I also DO enjoy intimacy and have a very good drive and yet I am not someone who goes out and grabs someone just to have anyone and I went from 1-5x/day to nothing for over a year. So I do not think I am an "addictive" personality type.

I have never been a drug user, of ilicit drugs, and I smoked briefly, and I was never an alcoholic when the state tried to call me an alcoholic, and I am not "severely mentally ill" or a lot of nuthouse doctors would be interested me rather than upper end military. I don't think high end military types have a lot of interest in total nutcases. The military, and CIA, and foreign embassy types, generally, do not give a rip about the truly mentally ill. They also don't give a fuck what they write about or torture them or their children or allow this to happen.

Oh, but whoooo knows. Maybe there is some new special program that involves giving away of laptops to nuts. THAT must be it. It's like the CIA way of "giving back to the community". Fucking Indian Givers. And I can say that because I'm part Indian. And maybe a little "too native" for the tastes of some.

And yes there were bona fide spies all over the place there. And half the time, they already knew who eachother WAS. I had one guy from Morocco or something, my housemate, calling out a guy from Israel who took me out. They were BOTH fucking spies and then I called BOTH of them out on it. They seemed a little freaked out about that. Then I got to see a reeeeaal live MI5 guy when my Ex and I were signing papers. He looked over his shoulders at me, with his pregnant Colombian bride who probably wasn't even carrying his child but the child of another man, who just needed to marry someone else for show, he looked at me like I was just some kind of skipper with toothpick legs in styrofoam shoes.

I sometimes think NO one ever liked me and that I was just being pawned off here and there and being distracted until I couldn't have my son. Then I think, no, someone must have loved me or there wouldn't have been all of that fiasco and trying to disgrace me, poison me, take my voice, medicate me, imprison me, trash me, and attempts to kill me going on.

Then again, some just wanted to use me. It got to the point where these men thought that the best pick up up line was "Do you want to be a spy?" and thought if I smelled the B.O. or familiar scent of someone I'd been very attracted to, I was just going to pounce into bed with them. If someone wore a kind of shirt, I'd just be hypnotized by some memory or phrase.

Meanwhile, my mother and father are all nonchalant about Alvaro and then I saw how SCARED they were, that they were literally afraid and almost begging him to be with me because they knew my situation here wasn't good and he had some kind of sway of some sort. I was like, "But he cheated on me!" and how many times did I have to tell them a deal is a deal and the deal was that he was honest with me if he wanted to be with someone else and couldn't humiliate me in a small town like Wenatchee of all things.

I guess Alvaro was some kind of Lord of the Rings or knew people who were, because that's the only time people left me and my son alone and I'd like to know why my own country can't take care of things if HE can make a difference and they knew about it. I don't see why my son and I should suffer anymore and I don't think I should be losing my son over attempts of others to take everything I have and leave me defenseless.

I feel, with the knowledge the U.S. already has, they are partly responsible for righting the wrongs, and if that means bringing in other people to immediately intervene in this situation, then I think that's what needs to be done. There is no reason, given the actual facts, that someone cannot come in and say, "This child was wrongfully removed and we have evidence to support this and the fact that the mother and child have been terrorized."

P.S. Please forgive us because some of us are, know, or are related to the alleged terrorists.

So anyway, just a note to say I saw Carol driving by today and I waved, and she didn't wave back.