I sometimes wonder why I didn't major in Sociology rather than English Lit. I had found 3 loves in college: Art (considered graphic design), English Literature, and Sociology.
I didn't have even on psychology class but I loved my Sociology professor. When she confessed it took her a decade to get a job and that she had to lie to dumb herself down to be accepted for a fast food job, I thought, "Hmm, maybe not." But she was very good and we did a few sociology experiments.
Psychology is the study of the individual whereas sociology concerns groups. I do like personality theory and neuroscience and the individual, but group stuff always fascinated me too. Which is why, I think, I checked out about 30 books on the "green party" and events which led up to, I thought, the rise of the Nazi party. Just curious about how groups work.
And then it's love-hate because I am so non-conformist (in some ways) and believe strongly in individual civil rights.
So, all that to say this is what I had in mind when I noticed how many people are following my every move again today.
I went to one place, and they had to have my full name and everything and then intentionally mixed it up and this guy comes out to take my trash off of my table and acts like he needs latex gloves. That was offensive to me, so I cancelled the second order I had put in. It is one thing to put on latex gloves to carry out a whole bag of trash, and another thing to be so offensive as to put on gloves while standing over someone's table and asking if they can clear your place.
It's not 5 star restaurant, but I don't care. SO I cancelled and then joked about it being my turn to be Queen as I rang a cowbell. I was totally kidding and then...I just noticed, every single place I go...! people always watching what I do!
So I went to this one place and they had a stand-up man, some cardboard NASCAR driver and I was joking and asked if I could tuck him under my arm for an hour. I said I would like to see what kind of looks I got then. I thought about my sociology class and about getting work done as well, but for kicks and the guys were laughing, but I said, "So who IS this anyway?" and they said it was "Carl Edwards" and I've never heard of him. I said I wanted to know who I was advertising for if I had him under my arm bc someone might take a photo.
He was the only guy there so it wasn't like there was a team to choose from. So I grabbed the guy and said I'd return with him in an hour or so, and as I walked across the street, these 2 girls were crossing and I said, "You need a man?" and they cracked up laughing. I didn't crack a smile though, the whole time I walked bc I had to look serious as if I were serious. Nonchalant. Like "So what? what's it to you?" as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world. Wasn't taking him to my hotel room though. That would be too weird. I just propped him up in the kitchen.
He was trying to wrap his legs around me as I fought the wind while crossing outside. I yelled at the top of my lungs, "CARL! KNOCK IT OFF! DON"T TOUCH ME!" when he tried to pull THAT stunt. I saw a lot of Hummers and Landrovers and high end cars driving by and I could tell the women inside were really jealous of me. (Okay, just kidding about yelling out loud about Carl in public. I said nothing and kept a straight face actually).
The whole thing was bending in the wind. And then I was trying to get him out of the door and I hit his head on the glass. I thought "Feet first? or head first?"
So anyway.
I also thought about CIA guy, Edwards. Of course. I'm not an idiot people. Edwards and Edwards? Dummy man and Dummy man?
I know who I was in my past life. I was a major, serious, spy. Oh yeah. I was such a pre-cog the U.S. Govt. kept me around in a sealed vaccum and let me out under mysterious circumstances surrounding my birth, and they've been using me for their mind control experiments ever since. Yep.
Oh, and by the way, I don't know why ANYONE was blaming BP for that, or this? little oil slick thing.
That was ME sillies!
Didn't you get it? The whole thing about the shell sign? You know, that I found in the Cheerio box? So don't fire them, just give me my son back and I will ask God to set the world back on its axis again, just for you peeps.
By the way. Do not be confused. Originally, the Shell sign was lure to bait that fucked up Unicorn who thinks HE's the one who will be ruling the world. Plan B: Make her Master/Mistress of the Universe.
Unicorn or Universe.
Of course I am spoofing.
But yeah, I put Edwards in the window so the attention is on HIM instead of ME. Just like that other Edwards guy. Oh, and maybe that other, other, Edwards guy too...from the UK back when. Man, how many Edwards can I think of?
I almost used the names Edward and Henry for my son. It was just that he already had a long name and I figured he's not royalty or anything (well, actually...I guess he could be if you go by lineage alone and not legitimacy), but anyway, I think the next time I have a kid, he's getting a LOT of names because then he can use whichever one he wants, legally, and not get into trouble for it.
You could give a kid, like, 10 names and it's legal. I should have added more. Well, for all you pregnant women out there, give your child some options.
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I was thinking about Edwards' car number: 99.
9x9 is 81
9+9 is 18
perfect inverse
8-1 is 7
1-8 is -7
8+1 is 9
hmmm, what is a corollary?
anyway.
I have to have him back before closing--he has a curfew.
Curfew starts with a "C". So does Carl. So does Cameo! I might be schitzo if I notice these things! 3 cheers (starts with a c!) for Me! Here's to me ringing the cowbell: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BovQyphS8kA&feature=fvw
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