Bear: That's What Little Boys Are Made Of!

Hello Little Bear,

You're watching a short documentary for preschoolers called "There Goes a Train". We don't have Saturday cartoons--we have movies.

You know how to put movies in, take them out, fast-forward and rewind, and stop. Have I written about this before? I have let you play with the buttons from the start, because that's how you learn. I'm not worried about things getting "screwed up".

Yesterday we went to the park and you wanted to play with a little girl so you pulled her hair. Ooops. And again, and again. You did it with a smile on your face. I knew you were just being friendly but she turned and looked at you with a pained expression like, "Oww. What are you doing to me?!" and then she looked at me with an expression of, "Do you see what he's doing?" I saved her hair a few times and told her you didn't understand it hurt and it was your way of being friendly. Then you went up to the other little boy and were trying to be friendly and hit him on the back. He looked at you. And ran away. I think it's kind of funny because you're only 1 1/2 and you're pulling hair and slapping backs already. But I felt a little sad too because you had a lonely look on your face, a little sad, when they rejected your offers of friendship. You did play more with the little girl though and had fun.

I can tell you already feel self-conscious because you would interact with the kids and when you looked at me and saw me watching, you stopped and became shy. That is exactly how I was with my parents, for some reason. I didn't like being in the spotlight. When I was a little older, 5 or 6, we went to a church that had the kids come forward for a special sermonette, in front of all the adults in church and I HATED that. I didn't like being on stage for all the adults and always begged my parents to let me sit with them.

Yesterday we went shopping for kitty litter box and food, and passed a Halloween display. I tried to rush you by because there was a scary large statute of a green man who talked and moved and then lifted his severed head and neck from his chest, up into the air and said ghoulish things. I thought you'd be scared, but you wanted to go back. So I let you. You couldn't tear youself away. You were not scared at all. You were fascinated and went: "room-rooom!" You knew it a machine! I thought that was interesting. I allowed you at least 10 minutes to watch that thing, and kept wondering who, passing by, saw this and was thinking how horrible it was that I was showing you horror images. Anyway, you knew it was fake. What are you going to be for Halloween this year?!

Also, after our swim last time, I took you to a playcenter with a bunch of toys. You went right for the cars, trucks, and tractors, out of everything in the room. There were all kinds of toys, but you wanted wheels.

Right now you're not watching the movie and are moving beads on a wire toy, with sound effects.

You are SUCH a BOY!

Love you