Thursday, September 6, 2007

self critique of writing

Hmm. Reminder to self to edit that last entry. I don't like it. The language is all over the place and it's a little disorganized. I wrote it because I felt I "had" to since it had been several days since I made an entry for NFTN. But I've been tired and am tired now and that's a bad time to freewrite and post. I don't know. The point is to post without editing. Maybe I'll leave it, and then copy it onto a new post that I edit. Just to feel better about it. Too tired to do it tonight. Bad title for that post too. and maybe too long with too much info, info to share in better context later. Rushed. Feels rushed. and show-y instead of tell-y. Also remembered, I think the dude DID bring his guitar, but he only played one song. he seemed a little competitive--like, he stopped playing after i joined in to sing along. why? also, remembered the part about him saying I looked different in the dark (in a "good way" is basically what he said through his actions. we were lying down, both on our backs, facing the sky at one point. oh, and the part about his house and his mother and their seaship and seashell house. and the fact that the only thing I remember about farleigh-d guy is that he went to farleigh-d and that we went out several times and then i was just bored and he was serious and i didn't return his calls, or maybe it was that i told him i was uninterested. that walk...ha...so dumb. dresses on a sunday morning, cruising the strip for some attention. part about swimsuit and weight gain is tangental/runs together strangely, and don't know about that hazy gray halo sound. that crazy hazy gray halo. halo over the casino.. there was a picture in my mind of the blinking lights and the "aura" above the casino but needs better expression.

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