The other lifeguard of Mantoloking...I don't even remember his name. I think it was Rick, but I'm probably wrong. He worked at an adjoining part of the beach and one of the nannies I met that summer suggested we wear our summer dresses and walk along the water at sunrise. I've no idea why. When I gained 20 lbs that summer I never noticed, because all I wore were swimsuits. I bought about 5 suits because I was by the water from 8-5 every day. We only went back to the house for lunch and naps. The swimsuits just stretched along with the added pounds. It wasn't until we were back in Bedminster and I tried to squeeze into my shorts that I realized there was a serious problem. Oooops.
I think the other nanny was tired of wearing swimsuits all day and wanted to "dress up" for once. So I put on a summer dress that was sage green with a small yellow and peach flower print, shirred bodice with off-the-shoulder sleeves, and long skirt that fell to my ankles. I left my hair down, which was bleached almost blond from the sun and fell to my waist. I probably put on mascara. It was a Sunday morning and as we walked along the water, we, well, I guess, "I" (since I was the one who was under 200 lbs), caught the eye of a blond lifeguard. He gave us his phone number and took mine. After that, I noticed him riding his bike near our beach all the time, juggling his guitar strapped across his back as he rode.
He asked me to meet him at the beach, late one night, for a "picnic". I had to sneak out of the house. I left after it was dark and there was only the moon to illuminate the sand and water. He was waiting for me and spread out a blanket. I had thought he was going to bring his guitar but he didn't. He told me he was in a band in town. We talked about music and he asked what kind of music I liked. I said, "Ummm, oh, I like everything." He said, "Like what?" and I said, "I don't know, all kinds of music". He asked me if I'd heard of _____ and ______ and _______. I'd never heard of them. Then he said, "You've never heard of The Indigo Girls?!!?" No, I had not. This guy was at least 10 years older than I was so I thought maybe it was some old 80s band. He asked what songs I knew and I said, "Mostly christian songs, and show tunes." At that time, my exposure to music had been very limited. After I said, "christian songs and show tunes" he dropped the conversation about music. He sang something for me and his voice was alright. He told me he'd gone to a boarding school when he was younger and that he lived near his mother in Mantoloking. Said it was a ghost town after the summer.
I was talking about something and he started to lean forward. His eyes were tranced on mine. He was closer, and closer, and then, I said, "WAIT!". He jumped back. We were sitting cross-legged, facing eachother, and he leaned back. "What?" he said. "Umm, I need to tell you something first." He waited. "Okay?" I didn't know how to say it. I kept stammering and saying, "Umm, well..." And then I blurted it out: "I'm a virgin!" The guy looked at me and said "that's it?" and I said yes nervously. I told him I didn't want to give him the wrong idea because I wasn't looking for, and then he cut me off. He said, "A kiss isn't going to change that." He told me I'd scared him and he thought I had a big secret or something.
I laughed and said, "I know, but..." In my mind, I didn't want kissing to lead to anything else. I was petrified. I'd only kissed one other person in my life and that was all we did--kiss, and that was after I'd known him 2 years. I hadn't even held hands with anyone else. I dated all the time, but dating to me never involved anything physical.
Rick tried again and I was too nervous. He was trying to hug a rock. So he suggested walking along the water. We got up and went to the shoreline, and it was a beautiful night. The stars were bright and Rick pointed them out. The ocean was black until the waves broke, in cannon succession, white. Off to the right, far away, there were lights from the casino, giving that part of the Shore a hazy gray halo. Rick put his hands on my waist from behind me, and pulled me close to him. I instantly froze. My eyes probably widened. He nuzzled my neck and I didn't move. (Maybe if I didn't move he'd go away?) I was like an animal caught in the headlights. Then he backed off. Gave up. Whew! I was relieved and we talked and I thought I'd see him again. I saw him and he waved, but we never went out again. So many women, so little time.
This lifeguard, Rick or whatever-his-name-was (there've been so maaany! ha!), and I, at that moment, never would have imagined that after that night I would go yet another 6 years without kissing anyone else. I was 18 then and I was saving myself for marriage, so I figured it was best not to really start anything. Until I was 24 years old, I had kissed only one boy-man, my "boyfriend" from high school. I was waiting to meet the right person, and, well, never did! Had I known then what was in the future, I would have kissed him, and the guy I later dated from Farleigh-Dickenson, and maybe even the lifeguard Ken. The graduate from Farleigh-Dickenson missed the right exit three times on the freeway, once after I told him I was still a virgin, and twice after I sang him a song: "I'm dreaming of a man/the man I love/and he'll be big and strong/the man I love...I know I'll meet him someday/maybe Monday, maybe not/still I'm sure I'll meet him one day/maybe Tuesday, will be my good news day?/He'll build a little home/just meant for two/from which I'll never roam/who would? would you?/I'll ask the stars above, and dream of...the man I love.
I cast them all aside-- There were so many men, and I had plenty of time.
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