My driver's licenses keep disappearing. I'm sure some I've lost, and some have been stolen, but this is getting out of hand. In the last year or two, I've had to go in and apply for a new license at least 15 times. I am not even kidding. And most of the visits have been in the last year. I get a license, and then it's gone.
What seems odd is that I have retained plenty of other cards. I still have my original debit card that was issued to me over 5 years ago. I still have my original set of car keys. I have original hospital or medical clinic cards, and I have my social security card. I have my birth certificate, and I have my coffee cards, and I have my library cards. The only card that keeps disappearing on a consistent basis is my driver's license.
What is also strange, is that when I've been pulled over, the police never cite me for not having a driver's license with me. They cite me on everything else, and twice I've had someone make a couple of things up. But never for my driver's license.
I am not kidding. I have literally gone to the Wenatchee DMV and smiled in front of their camera about 15 times, 10 times in just the last year. I just got my last license mailed to me a month ago and it's already gone. And out of all those licenses, none of the older ones are turning up anywhere.
It's been interesting. You go in for a picture, and the DMV shot always stinks. But since I went in so many times, they got a real variety of expressions from me and a variety of hair-dos and make-up applications. Since my weight has varied, they even have the fat face photos and the skinny face photos. I'd like to see a line-up of my DMV head shots. Happy, laughing, straight face, tired face, crooked smile, fresh face, made-up eyes, made-up mouth face, ponytail face, hair-down face, hair curled, hair straight face, zombie face, bad hair-day face, white winter face, tan summer face...
I'm just thinking about this because last night on my way home, I noticed a shiny new black Mercedes SUV. The guy kept looking at me, and then hiding his face when I looked. So I finally got a better look. It was the DMV man! The same one I always get at the DMV. Out of all the different clerks, I always get him. And one time, a year or two ago, he specifically asked me if I had "other" licenses to turn in. I said no, and he wouldn't take no for an answer. So Mr. DMV was behind my car yesterday, and then when I looked directly at him, he smiled at me. Of course he knows who I am. I'm the only person in the entire town who goes to the DMV on a regular basis, at least once a month, for a photo shoot.
Next time I go in, which will be next week, I'm not going to smile for the camera. I'm going to make a sad face.
As for DMV man, who knew he was livin' large?
As for my driver's licenses, I'd like to know where they're all ending up. At this point, using my remote sensory skills, I'm beginning to visualize a desk.
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