Bear: Your First Time In The Pool

Hello Little Bear,

Love you, love you, love you! You've been so patient as Mama has been forced to take one-on-one playtime away from you to attend to matters others have brought.

I do what I can at night while you're sleeping, but business hours are during day. I am so sorry sweetie. You've had to play by yourself more because of it. It's not right, but it's not possible things be different right now. We cannot control the choices others make that affect our lives.

Despite this, I am, as always, deeply satisfied with my personal life, in my spirit. I'm proud of what I've done and who I am, and you are more than icing on the cake.

Today you loved this toy in the store, "Up-up Elmo" and didn't want to let it go. You protested when I had to put it back. You kept protesting until I explained, "I know you want this, and I really want to get it for you, but it costs a lot of money and I don't have that money right now." You totally stopped and released it, and didn't whine again. You were quiet. It was almost eerie--somehow you understood what I had said. I feel like I know you, and then I underestimate you again. I didn't want to bring up money because that's not for you to worry about but I didn't know how to explain. I'll have to think of something else because no kid should be worried about finances.

I told you maybe I could get it for you later, for Christmas or something. I did get you a little car that cost a dollar and a tape of kid's music which was equally cheap. You love music so I think you'll be happy about that.

Yesterday was your first time ever in the swimming pool. You were afraid at first and were wrapped all around my neck, but then you just let go and had fun. I could not believe how quickly you adapted to the water. You must have been watching another kid swim, because you fell forward fearlessly and started paddling your arms in a swim stroke and kicked your legs, with your head help up. It was the sweetest thing to see, because you went from being scared, to worried, to quietly delighted (with this look of wonder in your eyes and a prim smiling mouth), to excited and free. You threw your hands down to make a big splash. You enjoyed "jumping" from the wall into my arms in the water. Other kids there were shockingly good in the water already--some went underwater and others swam. But for your lack of experience, you impressed me in how quickly you caught on and began to enjoy yourself and loosen up.

There is more to write about, regarding you, but for now I'm tired and you're now calling me from the bed to come back to bed. So, more for later.