Shacking Up With Special Interests

Is it possible to take money without returning a favor? I've questioned my position on this, especially as it concerns money for political interests. I was then forced to examine my own response to a direct offer of money which came days after this same gentleman hinted at the mistress arrangment.

On one hand, to refuse money from certain individuals (say, in a campaign) but accept money from others directly implies there is such an exchange. Otherwise, one would take money from any source at all and use it for good, or bad, or their own interests, and not be selective. So first I was commending John McCain for being more mature in his willingness to take money from someone who he may disagree with.

But THEN, I got onto Obama's site, which makes a point of letting supporters know he is the ONLY candidate that doesn't take money from special interests (Oil, Health Insurance, and Weapons). I thought this was good. Until I realized I might have to clarify my thinking. Perhaps I think it is possible to receive money from small groups or individuals without returning favors, but not large political or lobbying groups?

After the mistress proposal (which I wrote about in my post "Veni, Domicella"), some time after, I was talking with this man in his car. I had done nothing with him but talk. I had already told him I was still thinking about "the options". He took money out, before he left, and offered it to me. I asked what it was for. He simply asked if I needed some money. I certaintly DID! but for anything immediate, no. I had shelter, food, and clothing. Not the best, but I was covered. He asked me again. I told I felt guilty taking it when I didn't need anything at that very moment. He mentioned a few things I could spend it on. I took the money. After taking the money, he THEN said, "Now, can I have a kiss or a hug?" I didn't have to think. I said, "I'll give you a hug." I had given him a hug before, without taking money, and I felt I was being genuine in staying true to myself at that moment, and giving him the same thing I would have given with or without money. When I did, he held my hand to his mouth as I was pulling away--sort of a sensuous grazing of my hand and wrist. He left, saying "Ciao" and I said the same.

This got me thinking even more. I took the money and didn't give favors in return. But did I somehow obligate myself? or was there a slippery slope? and what if he had offered me a very large sum when I needed it? I am still processing things, but I am also relating it to politics and my opinions about exchanges and favors. Perhaps if I were not taking money from one individual, but a group of 50 men or more, who all pulled out their wallets, and offered me the same amount, I would give someone I knew a hug, but would I then extend this to the entire group, regardless of who they were, and whether I liked them or not? And if I did, how many of the men I gave hugs to would kiss my arm, pull me close, or try, in varying ways, to get just a little bit more than I was initially prepared to give?

First over the border, I had a few drinks over the course of weeks, at a bar in Blaine. A fabulous Mexican restaurant/bar. I think I paid for one drink myself. I accepted drinks, freely. Why not? One night, I had dinner offered spontaneously by two men, which I accepted, and then I accepted one drink from 2 other men later. I didn't feel obligated in the least. The small-town female bartender, great feminist that she was, told me in no uncertain terms, that if I continued to do "this", I would get a bad "reputation." "WHY?!" I thought. She said, "People will think you're screwing the guys you take drinks from, or that you're loose". She said something like that. I paid for my own dinner almost all the time, but it was a huge faux pas to accept a drink from ONE man, and then allow the next one to buy me a drink, in the same night; according to her and the other bartender, this was "sleeping around". Or giving false hope? What should a man expect if he offers a woman a drink and she accepts?

Everything is relating to politics to me, right now.

In some ways, I am very genuinely attracted to the man who proposed I be his mistress. In that case, why NOT take the money, along with everything else? Yet something holds me back, and it's the idea that I will do what I want when I want and no one can buy me, under any conditions. Then again, there is sort of a thrill to the very idea of doing something so naughty (shame on me), even when I don't believe I ever could do such a thing. And since I haven't been fully intimate with anyone since my pregnancy (3 years ago), this holds me in check too.

I spent the money he gave me on food, when I didn't have time to bring a lunch to work (or forgot), and taxi service + tips. It's gone as of today and I pretty much used it for essentials. Can't say I used it "for good" as in giving it away charitably, but right now, using it for good can include me (I'm sort of good...sometimes ;)), and I HAVE left tips. It's going towards the "I'm Getting Back On My Feet" campaign, which is a good cause as I can only serve myself, my son, and society better with more advantageous footing (right?).

I haven't sold out and I've been honest with myself. When is it selling out? Is it possible to take even large amounts of money without selling out or compromising, especially when it's needed? Perhaps taking money from certain political groups is not so much the idea of "shacking up" as "what will the neighbors think?"
Shacking up was a shame in the 50s, but not now. Good? or Not Good?