The True Story of My Life #22 (Br. Ansgar Santogrossi, OSB)

When I first met the monks, I knew nothing about catholic terminology. I didn't know what a parish was exactly, how they were organized, and I didn't know the difference between a "brother" and a "father". For the sake of those who also have little knowledge of these things, I'm going to explain what some of these things mean.

Br. Ansgar Santogrossi, OSB, is a title which indicates he is a "brother" (monk) but not ordained to be a "father" (priest, who may or may not also be a monk). The OSB is for "Order of St. Benedict" which is the "order" or religious community he belongs to within the Catholic church. When a man becomes a monk, at least with the order of St. Benedict, they are given 3 choices of "new names" to propose, and then a priest selects one from the three. For example, Br. Ansgar was born "Michael Santogrossi" and yet he was given a new name when he became a monk: "Ansgar". The new name must be the name of a saint whose character or virtues one wishes to emmulate.

That's just the name.

When I approached the first monk who seemed to be available, I had no idea what he did and what his role within the church was.

Br. Ansgar asked me to give him my name and address so he could write me and send religious materials to me to further answer my questions. I gave him my contact information.

I later found out Br. Ansgar Santogrossi was very well-known in international academic circles. When I went to an Anglican church in Portland, Oregon, years later, briefly, one of pastors there knew he was by name and said, "Oh! the scholar!"

Br. Ansgar was not an ordinary monk. He was, I was told by many, a bona fide "genius" in the I.Q. sense of the word, knew 7 languages, was a professor of Philosophy for the Mt. Angel Seminary, on an international lecture circuit where his church flew him abroad every so many months, and he wrote important academic papers on behalf of the Vatican.

His father had been a government (I think) chemist and the family was from the New York region, I believe, and transfered to California and then Oregon when Ansgar became a monk and his mother and father were retired. They were Italian, and Br. Ansgar had 2 other brothers, one whom I believe was married and the other who was called the "wild child". His upbringing was strict, rigorous, and extremely conservative. Br. Ansgar was known for being one of the most conservative Catholic thinkers, and wished for a return of the Latin mass, and pre-Vatican II ideology.

I don't know where Br. Ansgar went to college first, but it was probably a Catholic university, and then he did go to the Catholic University (of America?) in Washington D.C. and later received a degree in France at a prestigious university (will have to find the names).

Ironically, of all the people to run into, though my intellect didn't match Ansgar's in any way, I was possibly one of the smarter women he met, especially as regards my knowledge of scripture, intellectual curiosity, and love for reading and research.

I lived in the library, and Ansgar lived in the library. Out of all the monks at the seminary and Abbey, Ansgar was the only one to have his own table set aside, a circular one in the periodical room of the library, where he could leave his books out to return to after mass and prayer times. I imagine one of the greatest tests of his patience was to leave his studies and train of thought to hasten to the Abbey for 15 minutes of prayer and singing at various points in the day.

Then again, he was lauded as a musician as well, especially his voice. I think he was second tenor.

When I met him, I simply met a man in a monk robe. I didn't know anything else. I heard "scholar", "genuis", and "academian" and saw raised eyebrows and impressed expressions, but although I knew there was something special in the way we almost immediately connected in conversation, and were matched in some uncommon interests, I didn't think too much about it. I was on a quest for the truth, and this was my focus.

I was often asked what he looked like. He was about 5'6", or 5'7", dark brown or black hair, brown eyes, and wore somewhat thick glasses. He wore the traditional black robe with the belt, and black shoes, usually dress shoes. I mainly remember how his hands looked, because this was the only part exposed other than his face. He was not especially good-looking, with somewhat sloping and narrow shoulders and ordinary features, but his speaking voice was very good, and his mind as well.

I didn't pick up on too much the first time I met him, but I thought perhaps he had expressed a slight attraction (his eyes grazed over my sweater, which was loose, and a turtleneck, but still)--initially, though, the thought didn't enter my mind much. We had made a sort of connection right away, but that was about it. I thought I was lucky to have run into "just the right person!" and my interest in him was what he could provide in religious materials or answers. He was also more conservative and I was as well. I leaned toward conservative interpretations as did he. I later had someone tell me he had issues with women, but I didn't know of them at the start. I was told he was very rude to his own mother, who volunteered at the library her son practically lived in. I guess a woman in one of his classes once spoke up in class to tell him she'd had a dream (which included him) and he cut her off in an explosive manner, and left, and couldn't get over it. I had people at the Abbey wondering what his relationship was to me, as he didn't seem to have time for other women.