TTSOML #49: Assault By Mt. Angel Abbey Priest

After I found out the "chapel" in the woods was a shack with a bed, I sent an email letting the Abbot know I'd made the discovery.

I went to the next church service at the Abbey, thinking I would just sit there, and let them see me, period, knowing I KNEW they had been lying. I wasn't trying to cause problems, and I'd already been harassed by them and reported to police for nothing. So I guess I thought if someone saw me, maybe they'd feel guilty and atone and fix the situation. I was so wrong...again.

I sat there and the monks filed in and took their places in the choir booths. The Abbot was nudging Br. Ansgar again and they whispered to eachother and laughed at me. I was upset by this but didn't show it. I just sat there.

I was sitting only one or two rows from the front. The other people in the chapel sat at least 6 rows behind me. There was quite a distance between us.

A priest who had filed in, glared with rage when he saw me. It wasn't the Abbot, or anyone I knew personally. I still don't know who he was, but I could identify him with a photo. He said some prayer and then took a long stick (the one for sprinkling people with water) and walked directly up to me. There was no one else sitting next to me, or directly behind me. He yanked the stick down, so that the top of it was at my knee level. With this force, I was doused head-to-toe with water.

It wasn't a "sprinkling". I'd been sprinkled with "holy water" before, and when a priest does that, they tap the stick out above the heads and a spray goes forth. This was a deliberate attempt to soak me, and the stick was yanked all the way down, almost to the ground, which sent water flying all over me. I was soaked, and yet so shocked, I didn't move. I was frozen for a minute. I heard a gasp by the people in the congregation behind me.

I had to take my glasses off to see out of them. They were covered in water. My face was wet, hair was wet, and my shirt and pants were wet. I almost burst into tears on the spot, and then when I looked up I saw Abbot Nathan Zodrow smirking at me. This smirk changed my sadness and humiliation into determination not to let them see me cry.

I stood up, and I said in a calm but firm voice, clearly: "You're hypocrites." I didn't yell, and didn't need to yell. The whole church was so quiet one could hear a pin drop. I didn't yell "YOU hypocrites" as the Willamette Week changed it to. I simply said, "You're hypocrites", and then I turned around and walked straight out.

I then began to cry, tears streaming down my face. I drove down the hill, and an officer was going up the hill and I waved him down and told him what had just happened. He told me what had been done to me fit the criminal statute for "assault" in the something or other. He could see I was still wet from the dousing. He said he wanted to press charges, and then later he told me his superior had told him not to. But he told me I had a civil claim.

He went up to the Abbey, got their lie that I was the one disturbing the peace, and said they had asked him to "trespass" me from their property. Which means, they ask you not to go on their property again. I was fine with that, and I never violated their request.

I did get an email from Josef, the librarian I had helped at the library, with him insinuating I had stolen a book from them. I was shocked by this and said I most certaintly did NOT and had not even checked out, I think, the book in question. Then, when I asked him if he would testify on my behalf as to what I had told him was happening with Br. Ansgar and Fr. Joachim, and his observations of me in the library, he wrote to me and begged me not to bring him into it. He knew what the truth was, but he didn't want to speak against the church. He cited his old age.

So that was how I was "banned" from the Mt. Angel Abbey. It wasn't because I did anything wrong. The Willamette Week quoted the Abbey officials as saying dramatically it was the only time they'd ever had to "ban" anyone in their entire history, making me sound like a crazy lunatic. They had assaulted me, or one of their priests had, in a church service, and everyone saw it, and then they tried to say I was the one doing something wrong.

I was never on their property protesting, or harassing anyone, or being a nuisance, or putting up signs. I was never given a citation for doing anything on their property. I was banned purely after one of their priests had assaulted me and they tried to make me look bad.

I later found out, from a City Hall employee, that the Abbey's claim I had been the only one to ever be "banned" was a lie in and of itself. She told me the Mt. Angel Abbey had "banned" a lot of people from their property, and that there was record of it and it was common knowledge. She didn't know why they were trying to make me out to be the stand-out.

So they lied, and then they lied again.

No one has ever apologized, once, for anything. They've only tried to coerce me into confidentiality agreements to never tell my story, in exchange for money, and have used the media and police against me for their own gain.

I swear to God this is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Every single one of these "true story of my life" (TTSOML) posts is true and I have no reason to lie. I never had a "revenge" motive because I was the one who broke up with Ansgar more than once, and went to priests about it for help, and I have letters to prove it.

I hope anyone reading this, who has had something similar happen to them, will feel free to contact me. I also hope what was done to me doesn't scare other women and men from coming forward who were also abused.