Writing About Not Writing (Boring), Oh, and Hitchens (Not Boring)

I'm brimming with things to say. Aaaargggghhh! what have I done? I made a promise not to blog about current life and events, and only the past and fiction, but this is so resTRICTIVE! I think I'm a daily columnist type. Life is far too much fun and exciting to keep to myself. I could talk and talk, but then it's gone, like a vapor, and I have some STORIES to tell. It seems every day is an adventure, and there is always some burning question or revelation in my mind, or a simply comic event. The point of not writing about my life in current state, is to minimize coverage of who I'm talking to, where I'm going, and otherwise protect myself. But I thought, maybe I won't write about my PERSONAL life, but could still write about current events. And then I thought about this funny soap story I want to share, and realize it would reveal too much, and then there's this interesting other event which could "place" me at a certain time and location. It's difficult.

The thing is, I did it for a couple of days, but then I feel I lose the spontaneity of writing about the moment or the moment that just passed, which is still fresh. I could write privately, and save it, but what if something happens to it? I could create another annonymous blog or one just for me to read, but half of the fun in writing a blog, is imagining the reaction(s) (mixed probably) from my audience. Other times, I think something I write may be conducive to helping another person to not feel alone, and be supported.

Here I am, writing about not writing about certain things.

I feel I lose momentum if I don't write on the spot. It becomes yesterday's news and I'm tired of it and something more interesting has happened today. I can't say I'm constantly composing in my head, but I am composing at least a few times a day. I read recently that Hitchens doesn't feel "quite right" if he hasn't written anything and I feel the same, except I'm possibly more of a literary exhibitionist. I've found some very strange correlations to his "style" and habits and my own. I wonder if we're the same personality type? I read from his book "God Is Not Great", in the first chapter today, where he says he wouldn't simply write about a scripture verse, but first read everything before and after this first, for context. I'm the same way. And then, what really got me, was reading how he used to smoke cigarettes in the shower. I didn't smoke, but I used to eat in the shower. I used to, until life slowed down a bit. Pressed for time, I used to let the shower hit my back as I gobbled down a bowl of cereal, or had a piece of toast, or peeled an orange. My roommate was always like, "Cameo! Can you get this bowl out of here?" or reminding me there was a spoon left behind, or to please not leave another banana peel behind and that she stepped on it and it was gross. She really got pissed one day, finding toast crumbs and crust left behind where the soap should have been. Lots of coffee in the shower too.

Anyway, there was a method to my "madness". Oh, and it was only breakfast in the shower, not lunch or dinner.

I feel Mr. Hitchens should find me. I can't write to him without looking like a stalker. But the good part is that he has been a professor and mentor and worked with students, so it seems there could be a chance he's open to discussion.

I only skimmed his book today. It was checked out everywhere, or not even in (small town, where the Thomas Paine book will sell just fine by itself, thank you) and I skimmed but it's not a book I could read sitting at the table in a coffeehouse or bookstore. This is one to take to bed. Not as a sleep aid, but to get under the covers with, and devote some attention to.

UPDATE: I have just posted about 4 posts of current events but nothing overtly personal or recent that occured which could place me or others. It's difficult, because I especially want to write about the funny realization about some "deodorant soaps", but I can't now. I would have written fiction, but it's more soul-baring and intimidating to schpeel. I need a drink first I think, to write fiction (maybe partly kidding there). I HAD had a beer that night I wrote about Missiles in Blaine and started talking about ghosts and water babies coming out of the water. And I need to flesh out more of the "true story" past stuff but I've procrastinated and don't want to get into it this evening.

I have met many new people and have lots of new things to add and share, but will not share, on account of my compromise. Maybe I'll have that drink and come back to write some fiction, or just to do a freewrite.