TTSOML #35: Threats By Monks

I asked Fr. Joachim about being exploited. The next thing that happened, was a series of letters from Br. Ansgar which made it sound as though he no interest in me other than of a spiritual, religious nature. When he wrote a couple of letters making it sound as though I had asked him to leave vows, I became alarmed.

I was alarmed because it wasn't true, and yet after all Ansgar had done and said, he was now implying he had never thought of me in a romantic sense. It was almost as if he had forgotten what he had already written to me, as if it didn't exist. I wondered who exactly he was writing for, then, because it certaintly wasn't me. I had an excellent memory and he would have to know I was wondering what in the world he was doing.

So I told Fr. Joachim I was thinking I might need to talk to the Abbot of the monastery. I thought this behavior was bizarre, and wondered if Br. Ansgar had really been doing something very wrong, and if other women were treated the same way. I also kept questioning his attempt to get me into a chapel in the cemetary, or out to a chapel in the woods. I was beginning to wonder if there was anything out there at all and wanted to ask the Abbot.

Fr. Joachim pressured me not to say anything. He told me the Abbot's name, which I asked for. The abbot was Abbot Nathan Zodrow, a priest who was born and raised in Waterville, Washington, a small town adjacent to Wenatchee, Washington.

After Fr. Joachim realized I was serious about talking to the Abbot, he warned me in an email: "I wouldn't want to see your good name dragged through the mud."

This is a direct quote. I responded with why would I be worried MY good name would be dragged through the mud? I hadn't done anything wrong, and I had an excellent reputation. It wasn't even feasible that anyone could smear me (I thought).

Before this, Fr. Joachim had warned me about going out with my new "friend", Christa, saying he believed I was in "danger dire". Several times, even after I said I was going to talk to the Abbot, he said I was going to put myself in danger. He said he would not refer me to the Abbot, that I would have to do this on my own if I was determined.