TTSOML #34: Being Buried Alive by The Catholic Church

I naively went to Fr. Joachim to tell him a lawyer had said I was being "exploited" and to ask him if Br. Ansgar was doing, or had done, anything inappropriate.

Not once did I think the Abbey or monks would call in their own lawyers, if they hadn't already. I literally had the utmost respect for the monks I knew and even if something was wrong, I believed it would be corrected with little fanfare. I was so wrong.

In my family, there is a long tradition of respect for authority, and especially religious authority. No one, on either my mother's or father's side of my family, had been involved with lawyers before. Not as far back as we can recall, and not even for divorce, except in one or two cases. There has been only one divorce on my mother's side of the family (my cousin, because of abuse) and on my father's side there are only a couple and I don't know if lawyers were ever involved. No one has had any experience with the state or law enforcement either, except for a cousin here or there on petty drug charges and little else. There is an inordinate measure of trust in "the system" and I was raised to believe the best and that the best thing for me to do, was to do what I was told. I knew, personally, that I was a good and trustworthy person, and honest, so I projected this assumption to all humankind, thinking most people were just like me. Especially "christians". We all had the common goal of trying to do "the right thing". We were in tune with a moral compass and tried to correct ourselves if we got out of line. So I assumed the primary interest of the monks, this monastery, and the RCC, was to do what was morally right, and admit when they are wrong, and mend what is broken. I had great faith in the RCC and their followers, especially clergy, at the time. My faith in the justice system was something I didn't even question. I had zero experience with the justice system and no one in my family had experience with it. I accepted it was just, without question and never thought I would be a part of it. Especially not in a negative way. I never thought anyone, in my life, would attempt to use the government, the "justice" system, against me, for their own civil means and gain. Especially not clergy, and especially not a church or members of a church.

Up until I met the monks, I had no known enemies.

I had no involvement with law enforcement or the justice system. I never in my life had anyone question my "mental stability". I had excellent work and personal references, and had been extremely involved in my community, church, and social circles. No one had a bad thing to say about me. If I ever had a problem, it was usually jealousy, and I did my best to identify the reason why and to befriend the person who felt this way and allow them to see me for myself. It wasn't my fault if I was attractive to some men, and I didn't use it to my advantage or flaunt it, and I made no attempt to promote my own success materially, or to prove my intellectual abilities or talents. I knew I was blessed with some gifts, and also believed these abilities were to be tempered with humility and subservience. My job, as a christian, I thought, was to humble myself. I was conservative and took most of the admonitions of the Bible literally, even if I was not essentially "fundamental" or literal in all of my interpretation or understanding of scripture.

The Bible said "All liars have their place in Hell" so I practiced a discipline of not lying.

Later in life, I realized there it is sometimes appropriate to lie for a good cause, not to defame another person or protect one's own actions, but to help someone who had a moral right or cause to be defended, having done nothing wrong, such as lying about hiding Jews during Nazi persecution, or Rahab's hiding of the spies (Old Testament).

I truly believed the clergy at Mt. Angel Abbey shared my beliefs and values, and even moreso. I never imagined anyone would try to harm me, or would want to harm me. Even to protect themselves.

But I was very, very, wrong.

What happened next only worsened with time, and continued for years, and I believe has affected me and my son even now, as they have been involved, still, in trying to defame me and discredit me so no one believes what I have to say. They used people to plant seeds of misinformation, including their choice of media with their outrageous and flatly defamatory article about me, and law enforcement. So far, they've gotten away with everything.

What I have learned is so concerning to me, it has challenged my faith in everything. I have seen the dark side of every imaginable system, and I realize that while my experiences are extreme, I'm not the only one this has happened to. Great cruelty is possible, even in the United States of America, and there is great corruption as well. The majority, of which I was a part for so long, is largely unaware of the politics at work in the shadows. It's dangerous to discover the truth sometimes, and even more dangerous to be willing to reveal what it is.

I didn't know any of this. I had zero experience and zero family experience or advisory assistance. The Catholic church, on the other hand, has had over a thousand years of experience in getting rid of those they believe to be a threat to their ideology, religion, power, and finances.

They don't kill people outright anymore. At least very often. These days, the preferred method is to bury someone alive.

It's unnecessary to kill the body if either the soul or spirit is disabled, or the character and credibility can be ruined or assassinated. To defame someone and ruin them effectively is as good, or better, than killing them off. It disables and neutralizes the enemy, and done well, will eliminate the "heat" which could be generated from or by an actual death or disappearance. The goal is to create conditions under which a person will either self-destruct, or appear to be self-destructing.

Before taking offense please allow me to lay out the facts of what happened next.