Better To Be Alone Than With Moral Cowards

I'm having an eczema breakout due to the stress caused by this latest CPS incident. What they have done, by ignoring me and delaying the process intentionally, for 2 months, is intentional infliction of emotional distress. My upset is quite clear, I think, considering the number of posts I've made about it and how it has caused me distresss.

I went to bed last night with the words "withholding evidence" running through my mind over and over. What CPS has done, and what this Judge Hotchkiss allowed them to do, was to withhold evidence that would have helped me in my case. Not only that, simply refusing to give me discovery in a timely manner, when I had been asking for it for almost half a year prior to the hearing, is a form of withholding evidence. Withholding discovery is withholding evidence.

Then, they claim they don't even have all of the evidence, and yet they made NO attempt to obtain it. They knew, if they gave me discovery before the hearing, that I would ask where the other records were, and that I would use them to my advantage. So they kept those records out of the hearing.

Before I leave D.C., I may decide to just file a civil right claim against them.

I will have to find out if I can get proper jurisdiction here since I live here. I wouldn't be able to enter much, but I could at least enter an outline of the facts and all of the wrong things they've done and violations of procedure which have occured.

I have repeatedly asked Judge Hotchkiss to do the right thing, and he refuses to even acknowledge an email with a request for a hearing to modify visitation and order discovery be obtained.

If Judge Hotchkiss will not take responsibility for this case, someone is going to have to take responsibility for him.

I am also filing the ADA complaint, outlining all of the forms of discrimination and prejudice I've been subjected to.

While this is pending, I can check out this one specialist, and see if he's going to work. If not, I will move to another state without telling anyone where I'm planning to go, and I will speak to the general counsel of their Child and Family Services department directly, before Wenatchee AG tries to influence things.

I also have to get my Bar complaint about the shoddy and conflicts of interest public defense I have, which will be the only way to prove I did not have reasonable counsel and that then I did not have reasonable notice that I would be forced to be pro se.

I spent the last 2 months trying to get services in D.C. They actually had a chance to have me get that psych eval squared away, but they didn't want that. They wanted to disrupt and destroy the bond with my son, and to stall to prejudice my standing so they could line things up the way they wanted.

If I can file a civil rights claim in another state I choose to move to, I may save it to be held in that state where I end up residing. At the least I can get the ADA complaint and the Bar complaints out of the way. There is no point in my wasting time on any kind of services, after seeing how they have lied about me, until these other measures are taken.

And there is no way in hell I'm raising my children in this country, after what this country has put me through. I appealed to countless organizations and lawyers and special aid organizations, and no one did a THING.

I have no reason to give my allegiance and faith to such a country, even if I wish for the best for everyone else here. I will write about how I believe social services should be restructured, later today.

I will also continue with what happened in Canada, later today. I have other errands to run now, so I'll have to do this later.

Considering what has been done to me, I cannot say I have any confidence in having another child in the U.S. I would rather have it elsewhere and have trusted persons raise my child in safekeeping until I get my son back, than go through what I've been made to go through with my son. I am not going to do this again, even if all of this is corrected. I will not put myself, or any child, through this.

As for family, they burned that bridge a long time ago. Sometimes, in absence of true biological family, you have to create your own alternate family. One of the worst things I've seen families do, is to turn on other members in their forms of self-interest.

I know my parents, for one, would much rather have me found mentally ill themselves, than have anyone believe what I say about them is true. To protect themselves, which has always been their primary interest anyway, they would run me into the ground. My own mother has written horrible letters to me and then lied to everyone that she ever wrote them. My own father has tried to make others think better of him when he worries someone may think he's not being a real father, or thinks badly of him--it bruises his ego and emasculates him, so he beefs himself up by claiming he has acted in my best interests. My mother's side of the family is just a bunch of weirdos. My father's side isn't a bunch of weirdos, but I've never been as close to them. I care about them, but I wouldn't call on them at such a time.

Other families do this to their children as well. Princess Diana's biggest enemies, many of them, could be found within her own family. It was her family that first propogated all kinds of rumors she was mentally ill and that it was her fault, and not a form of PTSD because of their actions, which would have resolved had they shaped up.

I know a cutter from New Mexico who was from a family with money. He was a snowboarder with contracts and carried labels, and he became a cutter after his step-father repeatedly abused him, beating him up and forcing him to do abnormal levels of athletics, and his father always blew off any accusations or questions by claiming the son was mentally ill. He even tried to get his own son sent to a psych ward and this son's own mother didn't even believe her own son, because the guy would beat him up when she wasn't there and lie and claim the son did it to himself for sympathy. The police were called on repeated occasions and did nothing. They dismissed the son as being mentally ill. It wasn't until this guy threw him through a WINDOW in a fit of rage, with multiple witnesses, that he was caught.

For YEARS, everyone blamed the son and just said he was mentally ill. There hadn't been anything wrong with him until he was abused. And then his abuser tried to turn it around to protect himself.

That's the reality of some family. People think if family is not supporting a member, there must be a reason or good cause.

Sometimes, there is no good reason or good cause. Sometimes it is simply that even family can and will do things out of self-interest, and make false claims to protect themselves or those members they favor more.

And one of the most common ways to assault or try to derail any enemy or purported "threat" is by claiming that individual is mentally ill, and trying to provoke and harass or abuse that person until they can get any kind of response to point to and claim that's the evidence, even if it's not evidence at all, taken out of context.

I am happy to leave this kind of "family" behind for good.

No one should try to tell me anything will be better, or that I should be forgiving, or make ammends. There are no ammends to be made on my part. I've forgiven 70 times 7, and I've filled my quota for forgiveness. Sometimes, you cut your losses and move on, even if it means moving on alone.

It is better to be alone than to think you are not alone when you are surrounded by moral cowards.