I made an attempt to make things work in Whatcom County, WA. Blaine was the border town, and then Birch Bay was a little further away, and not immediatly on the border. It ran right into Blaine though.
When I moved into the hostel area, that was in Birch Bay. Things were fine there and I spent most of my time emailing my family and trying to get support for a lawyer. Basically, they made a half-hearted attempt to keep their promise to me and my son and then they fell through. No one can say I didn't try, because I have hours upon days worth of emails sent to my family, agreeing to any and all of their terms, if they would only provide me with financial means for a private attorney. They came up with "conditions" and said they'd pay if I would agree to those conditions. The thing is, I honestly do not think they counted on my agreement. Knowing me, they would have thought I would flat-out refuse and then they'd be off the hook. But I didn't refuse. I agreed to even RIDICULOUS "conditions", all in the interest of my son. I was willing to be humiliated and do things completely against my own will and grain, in order to get a private attorney. I knew it would be the only way to get him back and hold CPS and Wenatchee accountable for what they'd done.
The conditions my parents proposed to me were the following:
1. Go to church every Sunday. Not "any" "Protestant church", they said, but a "spirit-filled" (i.e., speaking in tongues type), evangelical church. No Lutheran, Methodist, Presbyterian, Japanese Baptist, or any other kind. They had to "approve" of my church choice. And, I was told, by my mother, they would be in communication with the pastor of the church to make sure I was actually going.
2. Agree to be "prayed for" by a special prayer group out of California. (My family wouldn't agree to wire me money for food, but was willing to payh for a RT bus ticket to California and back for PRAYER). I said, "How is God any different in California than Washington state?" they later ammended the condition to one where I could be prayed for by another "approved" group, in the Wenatchee area.
3. Allow CPS to come into my house once a week to inspect for "cleanliness" and to instruct me on housekeeping and tips. This was the only one I objected to, but I said I'd do it if they'd pay for the lawyer, but I said WHY would I let CPS into my HOUSE to "inspect my housekeeping". I said that was ridiculous, and that the state had no business in my house and I wasn't a bad housekeeper anyway, and I'd had people over to my house when I lived with my son and they found nothing wrong with it. So I said, how about I'll agree to allow SOMEONE "inspect", but it sure as hell wasn't going to be the God-damn CPS. My mother claimed CPS didn't put her up to it, but knowing how much they were in communication, I have serious doubts.
Despite these unreasonable demands, against all ODDS. And believe ME, my own parents thought the ODDS were going to be in THEIR favor, I agreed.
I agreed to do things reprehensible to me, only for the sake of my son, because I knew we would only have a fighting chance if I had a private attorney. The 'department' had to have someone from the outside, who they were orried could carry authority or have power enough to sue.
So I agreed.
And for my agreement, my parents changed the whole deal on me, to benefit them financially. I had agreed to the above conditions, provided they help me with a private attorney, a FT private attorney.
After I agreed to these conditions, my mother told me they couldn't afford to pay for the lawyer and that the private attorney was recommending I go PRO SE anyway, and that he'd "assist" in the corner.
It was bizarre, and I said clearly this lawyer had changed on us and was NOT looking out for my best legal interests. He then said, if I didn't want to go pro se, why not just go with Paul Cassel, a public defender in Wenatchee HE contacted, without my prior consent and approval to this communication.
And my parents fell for it.
It cost them less money if they didn't pay for a FT lawyer, if I was using Paul Cassel as "chair #1" and the private attorney as "ghost".
That private attorney was a rat and last minute, on the Friday before the first hearing he was supposed to show for, he pulled out the rug and said I should go pro se. And he, I discovered, was Catholic. Military too. And he wanted to "edit" my response in a way that I was very clear was not going to benefit me. The kind of "editing" he did, RUINED my response. The guy was NOT on my side.
My parents wanted a way out of really helping, and the kind of help they've ever given me, is help that DOESN"T COST THEM. So when I said they'd switched this around (a nice bait-and-switch) on me, and that I had agreed to THEIR conditions only contigent on my own conditions, that I have a FT private attorney, they backed out.
They thought it was "unreasonable" that i wouldn't go with a public defender for most of the case. I told them I already knew about the system there for one thing, and knew about Paul Cassell besides, and I was going to get SCREWED if I didn't have a PRIVATE attorney, and it clearly should NOT be the one we had been initially talking to.
My parents said that was the lawyer I'd "wanted" and I was being fickle. I told them, how am I being fickle, to change my opinion about a lawyer, after he suddenly changed HIS position and indicated, through his actions, he'd be SCREWING us? We had looked at ONE lawyer. There were other lawyers out there.
I said I wanted another private attorney and then my mother claimed they weren't going to help me. I was shocked and said they were backing out on their end of the deal. I had submitted to all of their unreasonable demands, but they couldn't even meet me halfway, AFTER they've given me their promise and word of honor (so much for word of honor--I think the Italian mafia puts higher value on word of honor than my own parents do).
I said, how could they do this to my SON, and to ME, after they SWORE to help me. My mother said then, to try to cover and assuage their own guilt coming back to haunt them, that I had not met their conditions. She then, after trying to back out on the deal, tried to say I had not gone to church. I pointed out to her, that I had not yet started on their "conditions" because we hadn't NAILED the stupid contract down, which my mother had said she was going to FAX to me, to SIGN.
I had agreed to sign their stupid FAXED contract, to sell my soul to the holy-rollers and the STATE chimney sweeps, and she hadn't faxed me a thing. She knew I was waiting on the fax.
I told her I could start going the very next Sunday and she still backed out. That showed me, right there, they simply didn't think their daughter and their grandson, was worth any kind of financial effort.
My entire life, I have watched my parents put money ahead of family, and that little maneuver was the last straw.
My family is comprised of hypocritical, self-righteous, greedy people and they are no different, in my mind, than my enemies. What's almost worse is that they claim to be superior spiritually but then put greed and money first.
The only thing that is different, for which I give them one iota of grace, is the fact that although my enemies would be happy to see me dead, my parents THINK they "love" me even if they don't know what love really is. And, while my enemies want me to suffer, my parents just want me to be a holy roller who makes THEM "look good". They're fair-weather parents.
However, they disappointed me for the last time. I will never allow them to do that to me or my son again, because they have been cut out for good.
There is no pill, no prayer, and no therapy which will ever cure that. They've had it coming for a very long time, and I was constantly patient and forgiving, and I tried over and over, to give them another chance.
After what they've done, they are now in a position where they are angry at me for things I've written about them, and the family, and I do not believe, for one minute, they are ever capable of putting anyone's interests except their own, first.
So that's what I was doing for the first two weeks with a computer. Trying to find a lawyer, trying to rally support from family, and calling CPS incessantly to be able to visit my son.
I wasn't afraid to go back for a visit with my son after I was established in Birch Bay, because enough people there could verify there was nothing wrong with me. It would be more difficult for CPS to try to "hospitalize" me, especially when they knew I had my parents support initially, and that I was getting a private attorney.
CPS told my parents they wanted me to have a "psych evaluation" by people they knew. My mother said she thought it would be better to have a PET scan, as she and my father thought it was more scientific and I think they thought my change in religious views and my turning into an activist and feminist could only be accounted for by a blow to the head, occuring in the auto accident in 1995. As if I had some kind of damage that was affecting things.
At least to their credit, they were just naive, but they DID know the true state of my mind would be better understood with a CAT or PET scan. What I found interesting, was that CPS argued vehemently against it. They didn't want any kind of hard evidence.
Probably because they knew there was nothing wrong with me.
CPS relied on opinions they could manipulate, not hard science.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment