Wanted: One Sham Marriage

At some point in my life, I would be interesting in having a real marriage. But right now, I want a sham marriage.

I need something to make me appear to be more of a conformist and fit the mold of what a "stable" family looks like to CPS.

So, I am calling out for men who are interested in subverting the status quo through subterfuge.

I need someone who is, ideally, well placed socially, or has means, a house or nice apartment in a good area, and who may have a job that would be acceptable to CPS types or scare them a little bit.

It would be a role we play, and nothing more, although we need to get along enough to be seen in public together, for our front. Otherwise, you are free to live your life and I will live mine.

I will take nothing from the sham marriage, except a sense of satisfaction and thankfulness. We WILL go through a divorce, but it will be one which we can mutually disolve without involving an attorney.

I would want to sign a pre-nup first, making it clear our cash and finances and assets are entirely our own, from beginning to end.

I will not be having sex with you, because this is a sham marriage, not a real one. So, I need to think of something else I might be able to bring to the table, since I would be living in your house which will be better accomodations than I could afford on my own, and my children would be positioned to move in for a short time as well. For this reason, it would be nice to have a larger house.

My children will not be adopted and will view you, for the short time we're there, as a friend, but since I don't want to cause an emotional disruption when we leave, they will be mainly kept out of way.

I require a criminal background check and a reference or two from friends, and of job security to be certain things check out.

I could do some organizing, run personal errands, and cook. I will not clean and if you want a maid, you will have to hire one. I have no problem organizing though--cupboards, closets, and libraries and offices. I am also proficient at general office tasks and word processing and could assist when needed. I don't mind doing laundry or cooking, provided I know what kind of food is preferred.

I would give every appearance of being a "wife", albeit a sham wife, with the exception of having sex which no one would know about anyway, although I have no problem telling "girlfriends" how wonderful you are in bed and promoting characteristics I'd have no idea are true or not.

You are free to have women over and go out with other women, and if caught, we will just say you are the cheating kind, but a good provider for the family.

I suppose this would be a joint experiment in social pyschology. Let's see what changes when a few things are turned around. You know what I mean? If you are interested, let me know.

You would be helping me, and I suppose I could be helping you as a kind of personal assistant AND you would get some kind of break from your boring life, or be able to do something good if you are also angered by the unfair demands placed on single mothers today, and if you are against discrimination and prejudice.

My objective would be to present a pretty picture, get on my own feet in the meantime, and then take my children out of harm's way.

This said, if questioned about my motives when we marry, we could always say it "just happened" and how "it happens when you LEAST expect it!" and how yes, I was looking for a sham marriage but then I fell in love, for real.

No one will be able to prove it's not true. And believe me, I can keep a secret like that. I wouldn't tell a SOUL until I was out of the country or it was far behind me.

Sham marriage for two?

What do you think?

Come on...it will be FUN.

I am open to proposals from the following: men of any race; aged 25-70. Must be respectful. You can get mad at me, or have normal spats, but I'm not looking for the jealous or insecure type. I have lived with two different men since I have been in this area, who I was good roommates with, and we never had anything romantic between us, at all. We were simply platonic roommates and got along. Oh, I forgot to include gay men. If someone cannot detect you as being gay, you will work just great, and maybe I could work for you too, for a short-term facade.

I will agree to conform to your lifestyle to some degree, to fit in with whatever you have to fit in with. However, in person, I'm very social, and people like me and I like them.

Mixing finances won't be a problem with a pre-nup, the main thing, is "How do we get rid of eachother?" and how long will this take? I say, we "date" sort of, either online or in person, to cover that ground in case of questioning, and then we do a quick marriage before I ever have the baby (I am available next week even!--we can say speed-dating really worked for us!), and then I will edge out after CPS has their tentacles off of me and my children. Basically, the minute they're out of the picture, my children and I will leave, and it may be out of the country, as I've been planning to do now for the last 3-5 years anyway.

I will not be camping out forever, and you will not have me for a lovely assistant forever either. We make the most of what we've got while we've got it and take satisfaction from beating the system using it's own warped rules.

I am open to relocating, for the right sham marriage.