Deleting Blog In 30 Minutes-1 Hour...correction

I am going to delete my blog very soon. I am giving it maybe a half hour or so to think how I can preserve some past or documentation of things I've written, but I'm I just found out how to delete the entire thing.

I'm going to need a tiny bit more time. It looks like I don't know if I can save any of my poems or not. I want to save some of them and if I click this one button, I think I lose the whole blog, including poems.

I want to start over, on a new page.

It is probably a little late, but I am doing it for me. The only thing that I know is real is that when I pray I really mean it, it's real to me, that there is a higher power, above all this world has and above me and everything. I feel very sure about this. That people are the hands, but that there is a higher power. A very real and very strong presence that I know has been in my life and is still there. I can't know anyone's mind but my own mind. It goes beyond all things, and it's the only thing I understand.

I think I'm becoming bona fide religious again. Sincerely, and not as part of a game or strategy. It's all I have known in my life that is sure, and all I know about my own mind and what I understand. I don't understand the rest of the universe and I know now how I created problems for myself, but I want to be in the right.

I picked up a Bible and the following passages came up, which were scary, but this is what it said:

Isaiah 47:
"come down and sit in the dust, O virgin daughter of Babylon; sit on the ground without a throne, O daughter of the Chaldeans! For you shall no more be called tender and delicate."

Then I flipped to something else randomly:

Matthew 25:
The parable of the 10 virgins. Read the whole thing.

Then Romans 7:13
Has then what is good become death to me? Certaintly not! But sin, that iit might appear sin, was producing death in me through what is good, so that sin through the commandment might become exceedingly sinful.
For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin.
For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do.
If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is god. But now, it is no longer I who d it, but sin that dwells in me.
For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find.
For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not do, that I practice.
Now if I do what I will not to do it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.
I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good.
for I delight in the law of God according to the inward man.
But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
O wretched man that I am! who will deliver me from this body of death?
I thank God--through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.
There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.
For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and deaht.
For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh,'That the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.
For those who live according to the flesh set their minds of the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.

For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.
Because the carnal mind is in enemity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be.
So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
But you who are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His.
And if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of the rightousness.
But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit, who dwells in you.
Therefore, brethern, we are debtors--not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh.
For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are the sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father."
The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God,
and if children, then heirs of God and joint heirs to Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him that we may also be glorified together.
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God.
For the creation was subject to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it in hope;
Because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God.
For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now.
Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting the adoption, the redemption of the body.

For we are saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one stil hope for what he sees?

But we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly await for it with perserverance.
**************

I guess I could keep typing away, but I love this chapter, the whole thing, and I remember sitting in my room when I was a little girl, asking my Dad about it, and tears coming down my face because it struck a chord. I was 9 years old. I didn't know why I did things I didn't really want to do and I wanted to be good.

This sort of has new meaning for me now, but it's still real to me. I believe it still. I believe in a higher power, above all people here on earth, and while I may not belong to any particular Protestant denomination, or to a Jewish faith or even to the Catholic church, I believe this much, that there is a true redeemer and God who loves equally and cares about all and who cares for me and my son. I don't know where I belong, but I am true to one thing and one thing alone:

My own conscience and to this higher power which I call God. I have done bad things to others and to myself, but I do believe that while the power of others is out there to do good and/or bad, that my strength will always come from this faith. Where that leads me, I have no idea. Where I'm going, I don't know. I know I want peace with my own family and other families and that I want, more than anything, peace in my own heart and with God, to keep going and get up even when I'm isolated or down, and to just listen to my heart which belongs to no one but God.

There are angels on earth and there are angels in heaven and I do believe in both, that people everywhere, from every background, can be angels on earth, but more than that, I believe in angels which are spiritual which care for all.