Music Today & Dream Last Night

I thought about what song I wanted to hear first this morning and Whitney Houston came to mind. An old one. 80's of course, "The Greatest Love Of All." Next, Mariah Carey & Whitney Houston's "When You Believe". Then "I'll Be There." Mariah's "Without You."
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This morning, I woke up from the first really long and descriptive dream I've had in a long time.

I had the dream that I was staying with K. Kargman and he had a different wife, a blond who I later realized in my dream, was the same Asian woman I had seen in a dream with him in it, several months to a year ago. She had bleached her black hair so I didn't recognize her at first and then I woke up and remembered, just as I remembered in my dream, that I had dreamed about her before.

So I was staying with them and Oliver was with me. He was with me, but there was still a hearing to terminate my rights. It was like the same situation, but he was living there. However, Oliver was represented as a very tiny baby in the dream and at one point someone said he would sleep better in this little flower pot. I had him in the flower pot but carried him everywhere with me. K. or someone put some soil over him which had a yellow flower on the very top. It wasn't bad, but it was to help him sleep and have quiet and dark, but I said no, then I wouldn't know when he was awake and didn't want to miss his wakening.

It was sort of like he was buried, for a moment, and I said no, even if it was darker that way, no one could tell what he needed and when so I took the dirt with the yellow flower off, and it was one single flower like a bright yellow daisy or some small flower, so we could all see him and hear him and be able to tell what he wanted. He agreed but that's when he told me what was going down.

So I took it off and carried him with me everywhere and nurtured him. Then K. told me what was going down with certain people writing visitation notes or other things and he said because so many people weren't telling the truth, I wouldn't get him back, and I asked him if he would vouch for me, while I was with him at their house, that I was a good mother and caregiver and he said he would.

I asked what happened to Marylynn and his new wife didn't like anyone talking about her. K. said M. had found out he was online talking to other women, and reminded me that I'd found him again, online (and then reached out as a friend). I said I remembered her as being very feisty and spirited and fun, which his new wife didn't like so then I started talkig to the new wife and asked how long they had been married and she said "4 years". She was happy to talk about it but then I saw why K. didn't seem so thrilled. She was nice, but she was really boring.

They said they would try to help me get Oliver back but it would be difficult because of what was going on, and they said they believed in me. I realized I'd been afraid to spend even more quality time because I was afraid I was going to have him torn from me again, or never get him back so I was subconsciously putting other things before my focus on him. I determined to put that aside and give him all and my best, even if it hurt again, to have people do what they were doing or had done. So then Oliver and I were going to be bonding again, even stronger than before, even though the bond was never gone, and K. said he would help me with a statement and would do anything I needed to help me get him back.

There was more, but then I woke up.

Oh, I remembered just now, more of it. He wasn't sleeping well and then when he slept with me, he fell asleep and rested for the first time in months. It was a big deal and he was at peace and then that's when I put him in the flower pot and was carrying him and then K. put dirt and a flower over him.