Prayer, Work & Joking About Bank Truck

I feel I need to follow up on the last post. That officer, whoever she was, I didn't get the best feeling.

I deleted what I wrote, but she was blond and followed me down Cherry and I didn't get a good vibe from her and then turned around later and found she was parked behind me and then took off when I looked. She slowed down and just smirked at me and I didn't know what her issue with me was. Whoever it was in a Wenatchee patrol car at about 9:35-40 a.m. on Cherry, and other drivers, I could tell, were noticing as well and they made this clear.

I was on my way to the Catholic church to pray, after being in the hearing and having this strong vibe, and someone told me to go to this chapel where one can pray anytime they want to, with or next to, the sisters. So that's where I was walking and I didn't want any problems.

HOWEVER, how do I know, for sure, without any kind of evidence, whether she is good or not or even where the vibe came from? Feelings are just that sometimes--feelings. Nothing more. And the other thing is, I could have been picking up on the fears of some of the others who were driving by. I've seen a lot of fear lately. Fear and worry on others' faces and I feel like I'm always trying to sidestep to make other people feel better or not be concerned.

It is true that was my first impression though. It was unnerving. Who knows. Maybe she wanted to park from a distance to see if it was true that I turned when eyes were on my back, who knows.

The other thing, is when I had a strong positive feeling in the hearing, that could have absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that a woman and her family walked in at that moment. It could have a lot more to do with a connection I have with my son, whom I thought about and pray for, or with someone long distance or even just the need to pray period. I don't know what it's from, but I pay attention and then I let it go.

I know what I feel, but I think it's wrong for anyone to base games and judgement calls off of it. It's like there's been some kind of contest and I don't know what it's about but if I don't have a say or know about it, it's probably not something I really should have others involving me in, in any way at all.

I called for work today, and then I went to pray and then I'm going to work again.

When I got there for prayer, I just sat in silence for awhile. I didn't have any kind of vibe at all. Just nothing and just the need to wait. I prayed for general things and then when I thought about the books on the shelf, I actually started feeling a little bit of the good vibe--like I don't know if it's good or bad but it was something to pray for.

Then, I had several names come to mind. The other day I had this name "Jason" stand out in a big way. Then, the weirdest thing happened. I met him. I met the Jason I was praying for but I didn't even know his name was Jason. He showed up and I saw him and in my heart I knew "that's him". It was so odd, and it was a very good thing, and good experience. There was peace between us and I knew it but I hadn't even known what I was praying for.

When I got to the chapel I saw that there were three different kinds of roses. Pink and red next to the statue for Christ, and white for the statue for Mary. It made me think maybe there isn't a war of roses. They're all for the same thing. Peace.

I had the following names and countries come to mind today while praying. I have to say, I felt nothing different being in a chapel, but it was a quiet place to pray. I felt better when I was praying for the names and countries and locations, and then it really was sinking in when I left and was walking back. I saw there's a list of things one can pray for, for other people, which is good. I thought about it, but I spent about an hour there anyway so that was good enough. In a crowded house it's hard to find a place to pray sometimes.

I had a ton of names today. Some of them were repeats. I couldn't shake Emily for some reason. A few others:

Jonaquin
Esther
Marianne
Alicia
Emmet
Israel
Ishmael
Honduras
Peru
Alburquerque, NM
Iceland
Bosnia
Georgia
Mike N.'s family
Angelina
Austria
Cameron
Drew (had this one the other day)
Justin
Aaron
Conner
Emmanuel
George
Ben
Syrie
Magdalena
Chantel
Alison (big one but I don't know why)
Desiree
Jeremy
Joe
Donatto
Ezra
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For example--regarding the vibe...I felt it very strongly from 12:30 p.m. PST and on, but what does that mean? I was smoking outside just thinking about the names to pray for. So I don't think it means anything except that I have a calling to pray for others.

I'm not in love with anyone, nor am I with anyone, nor have I heard anyone refer to me as their soul mate, so I think it's wrong to assume this has something to do with any man. If I am in love with someone, who could it be?! just kidding. All I know, is that I'm supposed to be single and I am taking time to consider making a commitment more formally, to being single. So it may be some time before I sort this out and know whether I'm supposed to be married or not. I do feel called to be a mother of course.

Last night I couldn't sleep and just kept waking up and falling asleep again. Then this morning there was an absence of any kind of vibe at all.

The vibe thing is and has always been, associated with prayer though. It's not like it just comes and goes without warning. It's always associated with a thought I might have about someone or for someone, and then I pray. So it's not just some mood thing. It's also the exact same thing I had when I was little, and no one in my life ever thought I was mentally ill then or later. Everyone has "instincts" and can get a "feeling" about something and then there's also this thing which I think is associated with prayer. I think my instincts are fairly good, but anyway, I don't act any differently whether I have a good vibe or bad vibe except that I understand I may need to pray more.
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I read a few pieces of religious literature while I was at the chapel and it was nice to read. The other thing I liked was the stations of the cross, 14 of them, around the border of the wall on top. I thought too, if those statues of Jesus and Mary are for J and M, then maybe the obelisk or sun is supposed to be for God.

I saw a sister there praying but I didn't want to bother her. I'm not going to write about anyone I see there bc I think it's private. But I did see a sister. It was a little bit more of a private prayer thing which was nice.
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Remember, some of what I write is fact and some fiction, and those who know me know how to read between the lines.

I felt very positive last night, and cooked the Italian meal though I didn't have my favorite recipe. Next time I'll cook Chinese or French. It was good though, even though I just made use of the cottage cheese. I made lasanga, garlic bread, salad with Italian lettuces and spinach, and then I had strawberries with fresh whipped cream which was just heavy whipping cream whipped with sugar. Very simple.
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Off to work or interview again. Well, I have a couple online apps to do too. But I think prayer is like work. So someone should count my prayer as work and it's just as important as getting a job, in my opinion. I should just get up earlier to do it probably.
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Oh! I have to write about my missed opportunity to rob a bank or money truck. I must be boring, because this was the most exciting thing that's happened to me in a week!

I was sitting there, outside of the Safeway, on a bench, minding my own business, and thinking about my next move for acquiring work and filling out apps. Suddenly, out of nowhere, as I was resting in this comtemplative state, as the sun was shining on me, here comes the money truck.

I was getting kind of excited, because it was armored and everything. So I was sitting there, and two security guys come out after stopping right in front of me. I saw them get the gurney thing out and was waiting for big bags of money, but it was boxes of coins. I said to them, before I saw the coins, "Someone TOLD me I needed a miracle and now you're here!" and they laughed. Then I saw the coins and added, "I don't think I can make a fast getaway." Box after box of heavy coins. They were cracking up and I said it would be hard to get away with even one box under my shirt and said everyone would hear me too, with all that change. They got the bag of money out and went in and then came back and I just joked some more. They were both cracking up and that was that.

Oh! hahaha! I thought it was called a gurney but this guy just told me a gurney is like a stretcher and that I meant "dolly".
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I checked on a couple of positions the other day and one was likely but then I found out it requires a car. I spoke with someone who said I was still eligible for unemployment so I have to follow through with what she told me to do and it will go forward.

I also looked for work today and spoke with someone who has some positions coming up. They seem potential so I'm looking into it.

I'm also still eligible to go back to college so I am moving forward on this. If I were offered a very good FT job I might postpone, but as it is, I'm going forward with college plans.