Just because someone hears me say something, doesn't mean I'm not trying to ascertain other things.
I called someone about a situation and just because I called, this doesn't mean anything about I really think about the person if it comes down to it.
I know that my son hasn't been cut or physically harmed for awhile, and this town is so fucked up, everything is all about me and my son. I have people acting like they like me and paying respect but then screwing me and my son over at the same time.
I called rivercom about something and got some guy named Mike who, I'm not sure if it's the same one, but I once had a problem with one of them. But I don't know if that was him or not. I said I didn't want to talk to any "Mike" and then, you know, anything I do, whether I call someone for information about a situation, or say I want to talk to one person over the other, is misinterpreted into meaning something significant.
Then I get home and this exacto knife, red, and with the blade extended, is in front of my door, which I guess is supposed to mean my son gets sliced again.
What is sick, is that my son is targeted and no one does anything about it.
And then, my every word and movement is followed as if I am doing something significant. I feel like, if I walk down the road with a Red Bull drink, people think I'm symbolizing I like the red groups. Or if I walk around wearing blue, the opposite, or yellow or whatever, or names, anything.
But NO, I do NOT THINK like some of you DO. If I wear a brown shirt or a black shirt, it makes no difference to me. If I say I want to name my child Mike or Chris, or Will, or Alvaro, or Henry, or anything at all, it has NoTHiNG to do with anything. It might just mean I like the name or meaning, period.
Like even Oliver. I named my son this and everyone thought there was some big meaning behind it.
I am highly creative and imaginative, yes. I enjoy symbolism, yes. I believe in the psychic and sometimes in signs, yes. But I do NOT live my life, trying to send out secret messages or trying to read into things. There have been times someone has tried to let me know something in a more discreet way, and when I can, I pay attention, but it seems to me, like people think I am choosing and deciding what is going on with who I want around or like or don't like, or what groups I support or don't support, and I have NO CLUE what the little game or idea is, and I don't, frankly, give a fuck. Let me lead my life, leave my son alone, and there are no problems for anyone. If someone or some group is protective of me and my son, I am thankful, and I wouldn't even know who those people are.
This is why I even think anything about earthquakes or whatever. I feel people have too much time on their hands. My son should be left alone and I should not be treated the way I'm treated and pushed out of almost everything. I should not be defamed and have my son taken from me, or accused of mental illness when I have to fight corruption and lies every step of the way.
It takes TIME and energy for some of these people to be so interested, and it's time and energy that could be better spent, especially when these individuals are doing harm and not good.
I got this eviction notice and then I wonder about it because he said he got called community action, and now was giving me my notice to vacate.
I got a mailing from community action that I had to call them before the 17th to keep the program going and it's not even the 17th yet. So for a minute, I started to wonder if he talked to them and they were telling him they weren't going to pay him. But my note says to call them before the 17th to make some arrangements.
I have also been in and out of the hospital with extreme fatigue and it turns out I HAVE had a medical condition all along and have been anemic. I took a nap again today, almost all afternoon, because I couldn't stay awake and was so tired.
I don't care if things have been taken from my room or not, I am not in a position to be moving around right now. It is completely disruptive to have me all over the place like this and I feel, if it's not because of a misunderstanding, it's intentional.
I'm pissed about some of my things being taken, but I don't know who did it. One thing was returned. The rest of the stuff is still missing, like my paystub and a few other things.
I also don't know for sure if it was someone here that was doing the technology stuff or not because everyone was out of the house one week and it still happened sometimes. It seemed to be mainly the computer. But then a couple of times, it was mainly the room or something and when I went to the hall, I didn't have a problem at all. So I couldn't completely figure it out.
I don't know. I tried to call community action but they're closed. Tomorrow is the 16th so it's still within the timeframe to call them, but I don't know why.
I do know I asked him not to come into my room and he said, "I can't do that." I fail to see why he cannot agree not to go into my room. There is other work to be done in the house, but not in my room.
Also, the other housemates did something very weird the other day, when they came down and said I'd left dishes in the sink and they weren't even mine. Then, they went so far as to say "Steve wasn't here". As if, he wasn't there and so dishes just appeared in the sink on their own. I didn't use those dishes or even have the food that was on those dishes. I didn't buy those groceries or eat that food at all and they were just sitting in the sink.
But regardless of what is going on with community action, I still wonder, because I was starting to get notes about wash the dishes and whatever and I wondered why.
I'll find out why tomorrow. I'll find out what community action is claiming and what is going on.
There is a letter about how I have to call them before the 17th to talk to someone and go over my financial situation but that's it. Then it says, if I don't, I am out of the program. So I have known I have to do this, but it's not the 17th yet.
So I don't know what the big deal is.
I don't know why someone put out a place setting of silverware for me either, in my kitchen. On the same day I get an eviction notice? Then I go to this retirement home to borrow the phone because I was pissed about being told someone could go into my room at any time, when this is not okay and I only agreed to the work being done in the common areas in general, and these two women have me go into a dining room that is all set up with dishes and place settings and then they came in, and, knowing I was on the phone to Rivercom, to ask about landlord tenant stuff (without giving names or addresses, even when they asked) these women, TWO of them, came in and HUNG up the phone. I had already told them who I was talking to, and they knew it was illegal to hang up and did anyway! I was so pissed and that blond, she looked familiar and dear God, I hope she's not the same one I live next door to. Because she looked just like her and that would be wild, and especially to have her go out of her way to be intrusive. I had been on the phone 2 seconds. I asked what her name was and she said "Tracy Salmon" and this was after not only hanging the phone up with this other woman, but trying to KEEP me from picking it up again. The other one was a "Sharon". Egad. I thought, "Why in the world are they going out of their way to be rude??!"
I mean, the things that end up being drama here are so ridiculous. The worst part is that I think perhaps that woman IS the same woman. The more I think about it. I said it was illegal, and oh, they felt untouchable.
If you want a good town where anything goes, and you like to play the conservative side of the fence and the corrupt side too, come on over.
Someone on CNN or some news journal was putting together a list of the most corrupt states. I saw Jersey, and Connecticut I think, and NY (of course), and some of the big names and I thought, "Is Washington under the radar still or WHAT." I think what fools people, is appearance. No one in Washington looks very slick. No, they're not loggers, like the one Russian princess I ended up liking afterall, in D.C., went off about. But they're not slick either. People here thought my knee high black boots were hooker boots, just because no one here was wearing boots. They are still wearing Birkenstocks and Tevas. Of course, anyone wearing Birkenstocks or who dresses in Eddie Bauer or J.C. Penny's or Nordstrom label isn't corrupt. No, it's just the slick as grease suits and heels and boots. You don't look at someone, chewing on their nutrigrain bar and drinking Vitamin 10, and think, "corruption!" No, you sort of think, "they LOOK wholesome, therefore, they must BE wholesome." In Wenatchee, for example, most of the same people who say they're religious even, and who go to church, ANY church, from ANY denomination, from what I've discovered, a lot of them are also willing to lie backwards and forwards to intentionally harm innocent people for their best interests or the best interests of some other group, even if it's immoral and dishonest.
It's very different. You don't have big lushes here. In D.C. I was shocked. People work for government and yet they drink HUGE. And for a gov. town, it's all very lax. However, I have to say, they're priorities seem to be on more important things. The rules are lax in the bars, but you could come over to Washington, where everything is so strict by comparison and yet the dirty deals are DUUUUuuuurrty. There is scary stuff in Washington state. It is also, as an aside, a big place for government experimentation on human subjects. I wonder if gov. people turn a blind eye to law breaking for exportation of goods in Wenatchee, because they figure, "Well, half of them have thyroid problems and are passing stones the size of a golf ball, and get cancer and die young, so we'd better give them something." With all the draft and downwind from Hanford...go figure.
It's a real interesting mix, this state (I feel so much LUV). I actually stop and think, hmm...for as much as I'm hated, I might actually even, it COULD be possible to be loved. They say hatred is only commensurate with the disappointment of love. On one hand, this state sucks and is crooked and people have screwed me and my son over. But then I think about it, and about the people who are actually affected, and frankly, I could manage this state better than Christine. Laugh, laugh, but at least I have an ear and an eye to the wind and a feel for what's going down even if I don't have the details.
You've got medical facilities doing all kinds of government experiments in this state. It's been done since the 50s or 40s at least. Big history there. And then you've got people who are wondering where all the money for the Big Hanford Clean Up goes. They just got billions more and people are wondering where the other billions went.
You have stillborns, high rate of miscarriage, TONS of thyroid problems, the biggest kidney stone problem in probably the whole country, and all kinds of other weird outcroppings and illnesses, and people pass it all off as normal or random. I guess some groups figure, "We poison the hell out of these people, lets give 'em a break". How can those who do immoral things which affect the health and lives of others, condone what they and their coworkers are doing and then sanction others for brreaking the law or being immoral in some other way?
There sure, let's divert all the attention from the real issues in this state, to Cameo Garrett.
Because Imma troublin' the waters.
Have you ever really thought about the direction this state has taken? Guess what some of the newest, latest, greatest laws have been? Washington has the proud stance of being one state where you can't sue medical professionals for punitive damages, according to the say-so of a jury. They just put that law into effect a few years ago. Very convenient, especially in a state where people are sick from contaminants and some doctors don't even want to SAY or admit to what it is. Convenient too, for government trials and experiments. If someone finds out? oh well, the punitive damages won't be there. As if a jury would even get the chance, because lawyers for corporates would try to quash it before it got to the jury, in Summary Judgement. That law, was one which benefitted the rich and corporations, not "the people".
How about the newest bankruptcy "reform" laws? Hmmm. Wow. Now poor people can't write off their medical expenses and are in debt for the rest of their lives. Swell. Did the newest laws affect corporations or the rich? No. The "bankruptcy reform" laws benefited one group and one group alone: the rich and the corporations. It made it impossible for the poor or middle class to ever get rid of medical expenses which were not even their fault for having in the first place. And it made sure that the poor could never aspire to keep up with the Joneses because their credit cards (which the poor have to use bc they don't have big savings accounts, trust funds, and interest from investments) will no longer be written off. So the rich and corporations can still spend and waste, but make sure we keep the poor down. If they put their medical bills on the credit cards...HAHAAAAA! Nice try! Gotcha kiddies...there will be no allowance made for the paupers and the middle class, whom we need for more important things, like running all of our tricks and harassing the hell out of Cameo Garrett. Because, YEeeaaaah, I'M the real enemy here. College education? on a credit card? Oh darling, so "90s". Think public school now, and forever, because there will be no college debt on credit cards to try to cancel (not that this is right) even as the corporations still keep all their bankruptcy privileges and collect all their welfare checks, BIG ones, from the state and the federal government.
Let's keep everyone focused on someone who is talking about things we don't want a lot of people to really ever think about! Lets get a great game going over custody. Boy what fun.
I mean, think about it. I am probably one of the most fair-minded, bi-partisan individuals you will ever meet, and yet my life has been turned into a focal point for distraction of others from the serious issues.
The harm done to my son...in the name of WHAT.
Instead of rallying for better things for everyone, and awareness of the real issues, people with a LOT of money and power, have the others so distracted and charged up about MY life, they never think about what is really driving this. Sometimes, people just need sport and someone to hate. They don't even know who is trying to manipulate them either, they'll just go along because they will get paid and rewarded by the, ironically, the SAME people and groups who put laws and ideas into place that will keep them down in the first place.
As for all this nonsense about different people from my past, why does it have anything to do with me? If I knew of a place in the world where none of these games are played, that's where I would live with my son.
I strongly question what has happened to not just this state, but the U.S. in general, and other countries too. I don't think it's healthy and I feel the direction is so out of line. I don't know very many people who are truly free anymore. And that's what the U.S., especially, is supposed to be about. I look at the role of larger medias and even internet and how it just encourages something which isn't healthy and I feel concerned. And then, people pretend they don't know what's going on. Lord of the Flies all over again.
You should see the ads I get. Everything is about "silver" now. All over google. Silver cars, silver mentioned in ads, silver everywhere. Then, next week, ...it's just so fucked up and even the fucking heads of state go along with this shit.
"Angel" by Natasha Bedingfield came to mind. It's not a call out to UK or to "angels"...it's just a good song for what it is, straight up.
Today there was a turquoise marker on the table. As if I'm so delusional, to think whatever someone wanted me to think. I cut my son's toenails, and fingernails, and saw the marks in his nails that are also in mine, with a very thin white line at the top, which happened while I was in Seattle and Bainbridge. I saw some indications of the same things in him that have happened to me. This monitor is sitting there, taking her notes, and I put his nails into a pile. I don't know if someday, some country somewhere will help us and analyze what I have, but I did it for history and because I know God knows very bad things have been going on. I knew she'd write this down and make me sound nuts, but I put his toenails into a kleenex, and then his fingernails into a kleenex and I took that fucking turquoise pen and made an "F" for fingernail on the fingernail pile. My country has allowed torture and known harm was happening to me and my son and, as far as I know, didn't do anything about it. I don't know what the science is and what could be discovered, but even if my son is ever taken from me permanently, more than ever, I would seek justice on his behalf and I will get evidence to confirm the truth of what has been done. I feel that if anyone from this country really cared, or from U.S. government, they would be all over, trying to analyze the evidence and wondering what the hell was going on. Instead, I have military people, at least a few of them, not all, covering evidence up.
So where is the big investigation on behalf of my son and the harm he has endured? Big pot of money for a young woman who died, rightfully so, but where is the big pot of money or investigation for my SON, who lives this nightmare.
If it's some other group or other country group even, where are the people in MY country who are supposed to investigate and protect against things like this? People in high positions know exactly what's going on, even in the U.S. They know and maybe, who knows, maybe someone has done a few things to help. Either following orders or not. But what I know, is that no one is doing analysis of the damages occuring to my son and instead they try to claim I'm nuts, so that's just more like a cover up, as if it is people IN government who are responsible, or, who just don't care.
Someone is going to come forward.