Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Wisdom (Prov. 4), Indian Tribe Visit, and collage (photos)

The passage I turned to this morning was Proverbs 4, the chapter on "Wisdom is Supreme".  At any cost, get her.  I was sending some presents with my parents and then thinking of my son and what I could give him and came upon this passage, about "my son, get wisdom and pursue her at any cost."  The entire chapter is really good, about how it gives light.

A few things have happened.  My mother blessed me.  I've never heard her do that out loud before, I mean, maybe in praying as a family but not on her own.

Another thing that was unusual, because it promoted a reaction in myself that I had no idea I would have...(this was before being blessed or anything), I had this really odd reaction to something and I wondered about it later.  I sort of wondered what Indian tribes would think of it too, because I sure didn't expect my own reaction.

I went shopping yesterday and couldn't find the bus stop...ended up on a hill that overlooked the sea, which was beautiful, but not what I was trying to get to.  So then I decided to just walk the long walk to the other side of town and wait for a ride next to the water, or wherever, and then I had no idea where it was and had never noticed it before, but I found I was right next to an Indian tribe.  I was right next to the Coquille Indian Tribe administration.  So I went in and asked if I could use the phone and there were some nice people there.  Intuitive people because, well, uh, they're indian.  What more can I say?

I had to call my mother and say, "Um, I tried to get to the bus stop and I'm at the Indian reservation now.  I don't know, I'm in front, where there is a flag, and it's white, and...I don't know what's on it.  It's a white flag that says "tribe" on it."

So we talked a little and as I had to wait, I asked if there was anything else I could look at there and they showed me inside to some other artifacts.  I got to see the Judge's door, and the courthouse and saw something behind a curtain that was cedar and I touched it. I asked what something was, the first thing I saw, before cedar, and it was an ax blade.  It didn't look like an ax blade but it was different.  When I next saw something behind the blinds and looked, it was cedar.   There was an Eagle's feather right there.  Then we looked at paintings and baskets and she showed me this eel and held it and handed it me but I sort of laughed and said oh no, thanks.  But it wasn't strange. I was more fascinated with the net or trap they used and how it was made.  Then I saw a drum, and then arrowheads and things.  I liked the arrowheads.  Then she said, "I have a whale bone over here you could see" and we started walking that way and I had said I should go back.  Then she said it was right above her office so I said, "Well, since it's YOUR office, I should go."  But I barely saw it out of the corner of my eye and I couldn't look at it.  The minute I barely saw it, I didn't allow my eyes to rest on it, feeling a sudden deep sadness.  I have NO clue why I did this and I didn't plan on it but I turned abruptly, saying, "Oh! I can't look at it!  I think it might be bad luck!"

I immediately turned away from it, and turned to be facing an Indian man who had been walking towards me from behind me.  I think he was surprised because I turned so suddenly and then saw him.  I joked to my parents that these Indians were trying to test my own Indian instincts, sneaking up behind me.  I know he was indian because he was wearing a traditional indian hat.

What shocked me, was my instant, unexpected, spontaneous reaction.  And I didn't know how to describe or explain why I turned away so fast, so I said, "I think it might be bad luck."  I don't know how to describe the luck idea.  I don't know why.

So then the woman was really nice and all I know about the history was that it was found in her backyard or something.  It was huge, hanging up on the wall, and I sort of remember the size but couldn't say exact shape, because the moment I saw it, I had to turn from it.  My eyes dropped before I even turned.

So I sort of wondered what that's about.  I have absolutely no idea.  Some weird indian instinct of my own?  I have no clue.  It wasn't something someone ever told me to do, it was just something within.

I wondered then, there must be some indians that prize this and others that do not.  Or what the symbolism is.  But maybe it wasn't that, maybe this particular piece?  I really have no idea.  I just knew that for me, in that moment, I did what was in my heart or came up to me to do, without hesitation.

Maybe others understand how I wonder about this...If you have a sudden reaction to something and then you have no idea why, but it feels right, and yet you hardly had time to even think about it.  Just a natural reflex.  And even my voice, when I said this, to explain instantly, was soft.  I didn't shout.  It was soft and I felt more of a sudden sorrow in my heart which left the second I turned away.

Then I was outside waiting and someone drove by saying "tribe". 

Sure.  I have no problem with that.  I'm not Coquille, specifically, but I'm part of two tribes:  Chocktaw and Cherokee.  Tribes are great!
Some group just spaced out my text again and I'm on a brand new laptop.  It's all single-spaced and someone changed it to doublespace inbetween the breaks.    And I'm being tortured again whereas I wasn't earlier this morning.  It started at about 11:10 or so.  Around 11 a.m.

By the way, yesterday when I was at the coffee place, after I blogged about being tortured, it stopped for an hour or more and then started up again.  But whoever did this, stopped what they were doing. It was also done to me while I was walking and a couple of times at the Indian place when I was first there and then it quit.
Oh, another thing that happened today.  My parents both did a lot of things yesterday and today.  Then, I had already done one collage where I cut 2 stones from a necklace that I had on the Di collage (with the hat) and I saved them, not knowing what I was going to do with them.  2 green stones.

I sent presents with my parents for my son, 2 small ones and they left early this morning, around 8 a.m. or so.  I said I felt I should return the other ones I got and find out how to set up a trust fund for him instead.  I am thinking about looking into buying a bond for him.  Maybe 30 yr. government bond or something, not sure.  Have to check interest.

Then I got back to my place and did my next collage which is not good art again.  It's more symbolic but I don't understand all of it.  However, I decided to make one using hearts I'd cut out a few days ago.  I was thinking, I just did this weird thing with the Di in the hat thing and how does this fit into anything? So I made it that this mother and son go through water to a door in the cliff and then once on the other side, they meet this lady who has memories suspended all around her.

Then I got back to my place and did my next collage which is not good art again. It's more symbolic but I don't understand all of it. However, I decided to make one using hearts I'd cut out a few days ago. I was thinking, I just did this weird thing with the Di in the hat thing and how does this fit into anything? So I made it that this mother and son go through water to a door in the cliff and then once on the other side, they meet this lady who has memories suspended all around her. They hang like pictures, orbiting around her, and if you reach out to touch one, it disappears and you can't see anything but then it turns up again.  So in these memories this lady remembers my son.  How can she remember him if memories are of the past?  and she never met him.  But she remembers him.  So I leave this as a mystery and then she tells him to follow her.

Then I made a next page of collage which is based more on my Granny and a loveseat she had.  So my idea was generally that she tells him to have a seat.  So I thought of my Granny's loveseat (which has disappeared) and it had one seat facing forward and the other facing back but entwined so you could sit next to eachother but didn't have to twist your neck to look at eachother.  You can't see this in the collage so I put a quarter on one side, face forward and then the other one facing back.  I selected the quarters at random.  I had $2 worth in my pocket and picked them out randomly and had one that was for Virginia, 2000.  It says Jamestown, Virginia on the back.  Then the other one that came up was 1994 and it has the Eagle.

Then I sort of had parts going inside of a window above what I made as the loveseat.  The love seat sort of also looks like a Moses basket, or a wooden trough, or like a basket of yarn from a distance.  But my idea was of Granny's loveseat.  Then I cut out a few flowers for one side and a few for the other side.

The thing that happened that I noticed, which my mother pointed out to me...Last night I had cut out the 2 small earrings which were green stones from her necklace. 

They were set aside.  This morning I hadn't started on the next one.  So they were on my wooden cutting board still.  And I went to help take dishes out of the dishwasher and then my mom washed something and put it away still wet or hands still wet and there were some drops or splash onto the counter.  My mother pointed it out and said, "Look".  I looked and right there, two perfectly clear, small little drops of water, raised up on the counter.  Perfect drops, a pair.  Then a little water smeared beneath but only a little and the only raised ones were 2.  Same size almost as the stones I had cut out. 

So I deliberated about using them in the next one and wasn't sure where to put them.  So I just put them on the page.  The clear drops were next to eachother, about a jewelry box width apart.  On this page, they're spread out a little.  I had not even told my mother I'd cut out little stones from the necklace and set them aside.  But I think she knew because my mother would never point out drops of water for no reason. 

And that is all to say, we believe in God, all of us, and we have problems and faults, but we sincerely pray and believe.  So it's not some kind of weird thing that is going on, outside of God and the Holy Spirit, if anyone ever questions.  I prayed before doing this collage, even though it's a small thing and asked God to guide my hands and have me make whatever I should make.  The words to the left I left there, and did after my parents had already left and I just needed some black or dark color for a frame and ended up finding it in an ad.  The words above the Eagle side of coin are partial:  nal, left:, earl (for pearl)-, Riviera.  The words above Washington head side are partial: irati, en, blin, essen, 1", bl, one o.

The quarter face-up has Jamestown, VA, 2000 on the back with ships in the background.  Then the one on the other side is face-down and has the Eagle, and 1994.  The flowers I randomly arranged and then it's some kind of sun-dial or something and I turned it around and randomly placed where it landed and then pasted there.  Granny's loveseat had hand-carved arms and legs, and was not like this, but I just put this here.  Thought about Moses basket and other ideas too.  On the back I wrote "Wisdom is Supreme":  Proverbs 4.  I asked my Dad today what his Bible study was on before they left and he said it was that we are in awe when we see the handiwork of God.  That our efforts are small but he still cares, even as He is so great.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You should really get a job and stop talking so much crazy shit. its weird. I think you have way to much time on your hands, get a freaking job, or volunteer at the humane society or something. Just get out of your house and away from your craziness for a while each day. PLEASE