The Circus That Is Wenatchee (People In The Parade)

There are some very good people in Wenatchee, and very educated as well. But there is a fair share of...less desirables, and it's surprising the kind of parade that I have seen this time I came back to town.

I don't think half of the people who act like everything is a big joke or get some kind of kick out of the fact that I write about what is actually going on, have ever really lived abroad, or even outside of this state.

It's everything from very young to older, even elderly, but mainly, it's people who have lived here awhile OR who have just never lived in a big city or had educated friends.

How can I blame them for being spiteful torwards me, when I've offended their neighbor or doctor or fellow workers? I even had a couple of firemen, in a firetruck, turn to me purposefully and glare at me. Why? I have no idea. Others think it's just hilarious, the things I write, but I try to keep in mind, those who get so easiliy offended and then feel the need for a sadistic thrill are usually not the brightest flames.

The guys who actually totally believe me and get what I'm saying are those who have been through the system and screwed by it, or who are actually lawyers and know what happens, or they are military men who have high positions. It seems like my support mainly comes from those who are either very poor but also highly intelligent, OR who are privy to information most will never be exposed to.

Those who know about computer technology, military or even mafia (hey, it's a fact they have some of the same stuff, but obtained on the black market), or who are in intel, get what I'm saying. Some lawyers too.

A lot of these people will never, ever, go outside of this country, much less outside of the state, and if they do, they're not going to be mingling with anyone who works in nuclear energy, diplomacy, or anything else of any kind of importance.

This is a place where the top guns and the hot shots are the local police.

This is the place where the doctors at ER assumed I was delusional when I said I had been visited by the FBI for a misconduct complaint I made...and I can only assume it's because this same doctor has never run into anyone who works for the FBI so he thought it was some very big deal and impropable that I knew anyone.

I sort of think, more than anything, this is a jealousy of intellect. No one is really angry that I am halfway attractive. There are many more who are truly beautiful. I think I'm okay. What really kills the haters is my mind. Maybe the combination of having some intellect and the willingness to try to use it for good, in general, without backing down to intimidation.

Some of the meanest people, too, sometimes the biggest liars even, come from church. Not most, but some. Why harass me and feel a thrill I've no idea except it's small town justice and mentality and I've offended some by telling the truth. The truth is also stranger than fiction, and yet I've got the psychologist CPS wanted me to go to so badly...

Backing out on my evaluation. Why? Because after all this time, with CPS pressuring him and friends and the whole town, HE doesn't want to get blacklisted should HE tell the truth about me, which I think was dawning on him. I talked to him twice, in person, at his office, for a total of 3 hours or so, before setting up the appointment. He knew, just by talking to me that long, THREE hours, that he would be hard pressed to say what the state wants to say, and he knew my MMPI and other diagnostics would be normal.

Basically, my last psychologist, who was the BIG STATE PICK, decided he would get in trouble if he tried to write me up truthfully. In talking to him for about a total of THREE hours IN PERSON and then over the phone a few times, I think he figured out he'd just put in a technical 3 hours of talk-time with me and with my tests (which take about 2 1/2 hours) he'd already pretty much conducted an evaluation and found me to be without major defects.

John Fishburne talked to me for about 3 hours or more total, and heard what I had to say and heard me in normal conversation. The testing would have taken 2 1/2 hours. That is a cumulative 5 1/2 hours. The most the state wants to pay for, the psychologists were being told, is 8 hours. Fishburne knew what the state was saying wasn't going to add up. But he didn't want to be caught in the storm.

But if he wrote me up as not severely mentally ill, he knew he was going to get major flack from the town and lose his state referrals. If he went ahead and tried to side with the state, and wrote me up as mentally ill, he knew it would contradict what my tests said and what others have observed, who are in other states. He would also be the first psychologist I've come into contact with, to ever decide I had some kind of full-fledged mental illness of ANY kind. This, after I was "cleared" by two Wenatchee mental health professionals.

I think I should make a list of the psychologists I've come across, who believe I'm not mentall ill, from the last one to the first:

1. Dr. John Fishburne. PhD, Wenatchee psychologist for the state.
Fishburne said his lawyer told him not to evaluate me because he would end up unemployed or sued by the state. He wasn't worried about being sued by me. He was worried about blacklisting by the town and even his buddies, if he said the truth and diagnosed me as not being mentally ill.

2. Debra Neuman. Maryland psychologist.
I can't prove it, but I believe Neuman backed out because she was worried that if SHE sided with the state, and yet I was recording our conversations, she could lose credibility or her reputation. She wanted me to sign a gag order promising not to reveal our communications or release taped conversation. When I refused because she was putting this restriction on at the last minute, she backed out. Then I agreed to her conditions and she still refused, after first leading me to believe she had no problem with it for two entire months. I told her I had no problem not writing about her, but really, any psychologist who believes someone is truly mentally ill, isn't going to be worried what a mentally ill patient writes.

Digression: For example, I worked with homeless women at a homeless shelter in Portland, Oregon. There was a woman there who was paranoid schitzophrenic and who wrote very disjointed things and couldn't speak correctly about things either. She would make sense and then would just fall apart a bit. Yet you could tell, at one time, she'd been highly intelligent and I had found out she HAD once had a top government job as a scientist. The woman was brilliant, beneath her very severe illness. What was clear though, was that no matter who she wrote to, or what she said, NO ONE was "offended" because it was obvious to all, this woman was MENTALLY ILL. No one takes offense or wants to punish someone who is mentally ill, for writing about them, because they already know no one will believe what is being written.

Psychologists, of all people, know this to be true. No psychologist is afraid of a paranoid schitzophrenic writing about them, or someone who is bipolar, or who has some other severe mental illness. They're simply not concerned. Why? Because it doesn't matter. There is no worry about loss of reputation or about anyone ever believing what I write.

Michelle Erickson, like anyone else, would have the same position. She wouldn't care what was written about her, by me, if she really believed I was mentally ill. She would write it off and feel assured no one would believe me.

I'm sorry, but this is exactly why I want to write about what was done to Princess Diana's name. It wasn't that people really thought she was paranoid and mentally ill (besides her problem with bulimia). It was that she was a powerful voice who could do some damage and hence, many wanted to go to great lengths, hoping, praying, they could discredit her by attacking her state of mind. If they had succeeded, and felt she was no longer a voice or felt she was sufficiently discredited, they would have left her alone. But they couldn't leave her alone. She continued to rise above the fray. So, she was still "offensive" to some and dangerous, so they found another way to get rid of her. They were never going to discredit her sufficiently through attacks about her mental health because she was so much in the public eye, enough people could tell that despite the enormous stress and strain, the woman was holding up.

3.