Sunday, June 21, 2009

My Last Post For This Blog To Prove Good Faith

I said I would quit writing for the return of my son.

So this is my last post on this blog.

My desire is to show that my word is my word, mis palabras hay mis palabras. I want the return of my son to me, and I'm not uploading any of the evidence I have, which is in reserve.

Regardless of what happens, I quit writing this day, on this blog, as a first step to show that I will then take Step 2, which will be to take down this entire blog, altogether.

I have something I'm fighting for, my son, and I've done what I can, but this is an effort to instill some faith in me, that I will do this, and that I am interested in putting some water under the bridge, for good even. I am interested in peace, even though what's happened has been really horrible.

So, here is my Step 1. This is my last post. Watch for one week, and you will see, no new posts. Step 2 will follow, but only after I have some assurance my son is being directed back into my care.

What I want to show, is that I do care. I care about my life, and about my son, and I actually care about the lives of others too, and I don't mean to punish anyone, forever, by having a bad report written up online to the end of time.

If you will forgive me, those who I've offended, I want you to know I also am capable of forgiveness.

I'm sorry.

Will you forgive me?

I hope some of you will believe in me, and that in some way, you will be able to put yourselves in my shoes and in the shoes of my son.

Thank you. Peace and goodwill.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good luck, Cameo :) Just know there are people out there that wish the best for you and your son - that you get a stable job, a stable place to live, and your son returned to you...most importantly, that you surround yourself with positive, good people that have your best interest in mind and heart. I think you need to be more selective in the company you keep, and through this, you will feel more centered. You are an intelligent person, and perhaps your curiosity may distract you from focusing on relevant issues as you have a good heart and want to help others, and understand the world, but given the chaos in your life, they understandable diversions. So I wish you centeredness, peace, happiness, good health, and many good adventures ahead to blog about in the future when you can; as many will feel a loss at not reading about your daily ventures.

Mama said...

Thanks. My situation WAS stable until my son was taken.

I just found out from a state worker today that scheduling a new psych evaluation was going to take "time" and my request for a parenting evaluator to be present for visitation is being refused. I asked for a parenting evaluation because the woman CPS has in there is writing a bunch of negative things the way the state worker wants. I want a second person in there to witness what kind of parent I am and what my interactions are like and this is being refused.

I was also told the state is going to fight for termination even if I'm NOT found mentally ill. I said, "What if I'm not found mentally ill the way the state wants, or to the degree the state wants to claim?" Her response was, "We will fight to terminate your rights anyway." I said, "Really? I thought you told me that even if I WAS mentally ill, it's not a reason to keep a child from the parent and that you'd work with the parent to correct problems and reunite them." So then she backtracked and said they would. She said, then, but in my case if they got a clean mental health evaluation, they'd go after me for "substance abuse" which I don't have. She said she'd already talked personally to the woman at the drug dependency clinic and felt she could get something on me. I said, "You don't have ANY evidence" and she told me, "Our department doesn't NEED "evidence"." She said, "We are not lawyers or interested in legal evidence, we do what we want and we read your blog and that's enough."

I said how is this enough, if they don't even know which parts are true and which parts are fictional? I told her I had even made it clear, and made statements in my blog, making it clear a lot of it was writing exercise and fictional for prep for a book. She said if that was true, then I was REALLY "mentally ill". I said, "I don't think you understand a writer or artist personality and that's why you're in administration." All she did was tell me how the state doesn't care and that they are fighting to block my son from being with me, no matter WHAT. She also told me her department doesn't CARE about "evidence". I'm not publishing her name, because I'm still trying to work with them.

But I'm still documenting things and SHOULD they terminate my rights or continue to block my son from being with me, I WILL then put all the evidence and audio files online. I would have nothing to lose at that point, and at that point, the public should know exactly how they operated because they would be proving themselves to be a public harm and not a good.

I'm willing to put all of it under the bridge, and keep it all under wraps, for a lawyer to work with, in any kind of settlement, but if they should fight to block my son's access to his rightful mother, after all of this, and after I show good faith in quitting a blog, I think everyone should know what happened. I don't need to put it up at all if my son is returned to me. But if he isn't, I already know what I will do.

Thanks for your comment. I'm still writing and working on a couple of different books. ;)

Mama said...

I forgot to mention, the state worker I talked to this morning, at the state office, also said this:

I said, "So what if the psych evaluation comes back okay?" she said, and I forgot to mention, "We will fight against that opinion." I said, "So you guys would FIGHT against your own chosen state-paid psychologist's opinion?" and she said,"Yes." I said, "Why would you try to fight your own CPS or state requested psychologist?" and she said, "Because WE think you DO have a problem."

So basically, she told me the state workers and lawyers want to fight against the opinion of a licensed psychologist, just to justify their own position.

That is exactly what she said. So I think this is what Mr. John Fishburne was concerned about. Not ME. The state.

You have to question what the state's motive is at this point.