Good Music & Thoughts & What I Did Last Night

I like liz phair's "flower" and marianne faithful's "broken english". i couldn't help but smile at "flower". hot song. i think i might like everything that marianne faithful does...she has really poetic lyrics and potent too and her phrasing is gorgeous. i like flower for the blunt speak and truth of combined emotion and intellect.

I wonder at this, but I don't know what to think at all. The guy who told me he's bleeding and they think it might be cancer but don't know...he said he's been getting better the last 3 days and that today it was better than ever. He said he thought his body was healing itself. I sort of wondered if he knows about my blog, because I just wrote how I thought he was going to be okay this morning. I'd like to know if he's really serious. Is he really better, that much better? as of this morning? I asked if he was taking a new medication and he said no. He said he thought his body was healing itself.

?! So I'm interested in finding out what happens.

I was thinking in the last week, I think I'm waiting for someone. I don't know who. But I'm on hold. I don't know how long. I don't mind dating but I feel I'm not to be really involved or intimate with anyone right now, not even for a fling. Don't know why.

Last night I talked to an older guy, who was 77, at a bar for an hour or so. Or he talked and I listened. I wasn't picking anyone up or wanting that...just went in for a drink and talk. And met this man who was an engineer and 77 years old and he told me he was in the military, marines, no, NAVY! and where he was stationed and how his heart was broken and then broken and then broken, and then he picked himself up and met smoeone new, and it was broken. He was a really nice man and told me I was a genuinely nice woman and had a good heart. I said, "Will you tell my enemies for me?" and laughed. He toasted me several times, with a Spanish toast that sounded like he was saying "Semper fi Pakistan!" but he was saying, in a sort of slurred way, something about "health, wealth, love, laughter, and the time to enjoy it." He was a white guy who said his family had married Mexicans. He offered to buy me a drink after I'd been sitting there listening for about a half hour or more. I said I wanted to do something different. I didn't want to drink vodka. I wanted something new for that moment. But I ran through the liquors and thought I'd tried them all: gin, whiskey, rum, vodka, and tequila. Then I thought jaigger. But I didn't know. I decided to go with tequila. Had a margarita. He was happy and impressed that I knew the movie Casablanca. He first said something by Poe, I think it's Poe. Then he asked me if I knew the movie Casablanca. I said yes. I said, "It's with Lauren Bacall" and he said no and said it was "Sophia Loren" and then I said, "really? I'm sure it's Lauren Bacall!" and he said no and he asked if I knew any quotes or maybe I just said, "Here's looking at you kid" and then he said, "play it again Sam". He said he was impressed someone of "your generation" knows Casablanca and I said yes, my family watched a lot of black and white classic movies. I've seen them all.

I started thinking about this guy because he asked if I'd been married ever and I said no and he said someday and I said, "yeah, when I'm 60 maybe. And then I'm going to kick his ass across the corner for making me wait so long." He laughed at this and when I said, "turn the mutherfuckin' music UP!" in a repeat of this phrase a female singer uses in the middle of her song. The female bartender there had her back turned and thought I was talking to HER and said, without turning, "Not if you ask THAT way." and the other guys were laughing.

He is working on a clean fuel engine of some kind. I thought this was impressive. He's 77 years old and working on an engine. I said he must be like einstein and da vinci wrapped in one, working on his plans. He said he's going to the doctor about his foot.

I also like Patti Smith's "Changing of the Guards". Cool images and message or storyline. Like the lyrics a lot.