Loose Harassment New

The other night, last night, I was going to write up several instances of harassment which were at a new and different level. It was different in the sense that there was no restraint and it was coming from stupid white young men. Some women too but mainly white.

I was very shocked by some of it. A lot was just stupid stuff like, "Hey! you think you're such a tough girl!" and on and on.

It was like they felt they had a whole new reign over me and a whole new freedom to be as shitty and outspoken about it as possible.

I told this one man, that if it wasn't such a big deal in the sense of how it showed they had pent up hostilities or feelings of inferiority which they wanted to express and felt freedom to do so. I think the reason it doesn't bother me so much is that they come out of the closet when they think, obviously, that they are safe and that I have no protection. So they are essentially revealing themselves to be the ultimate cowards.

Some of the men were only about young 20s so it's excusable. Maybe in their older teens perhaps. But a few others were grown, older men. I find this more surprising than anything else. I see it from younger men and just goofing off but when it's coming from sort-of professional above age 25 or even age 30 year old men, it is more shocking to me.

I always think, "haven't you earned your own worth in all this time?"

I find it surprising. It makes me think of weak men and how I am so thankful I do not have a man like that for a husband, who relishes insulting women to beef themselves up. I am SO thankful I am not married to someone like that!!!

I don't even mind hearing men trash women when it's joking or angry or being funny. But when men are not just joking with eachother, but literally going after women, it is really sad. Some of these men are even financially successful but I guess that's not enough for the ego.

Anyway, I was going to write up all their names and then I told this man, no, I decided against it because it's something to pity rather than be upset about, and if it makes them feel better about themselves, I shouldn't rob them of the satisfaction they get. And, I told him, I don't go after innocent people who have done nothing to me--someone has to really do something to me or my son and then, they deserve it. I don't go after small stuff. Here, with these people, it's totally different. They take a toothpick placed the wrong way as an insult and hold it in as a grudge while smiling to your face when they think the heat is on and then the minute they think you're unguarded, they do this little coward dance, which is sort of a yell around the corner or sarcastic insult when they think they can sneak it in real quick and let it fly about. Some of the latinos do the same, but not to your face really. However, some will egg on others.

The only time these people shut up is when I am dishing it out hard. They are all over me like a swarm of flies and then if I start writing some really shitty but hilarious things about them, everyone quits. It's a recognition that they don't want me to write about them that way or be laughed at.

Then they'll come back and sneak it in again if they think I'm alone or down and try to use dish out their hostilities again.

One of the men from last night couldn't resist making a big loud comment in my direction about sleeping on a couch and he owns a cafe and has opened another. So he's successful. It makes one wonder why in the world he has some kind of issue. And why it was disguised for so long and then has come to the surface. It's not the first time but it was the second time he made an active attempt to insult me and before that it was him and another group of band people. The band members were from Seattle and one of them just went on and on and was really rude and then it was encouraged by him. My best guess is that he or his wife know someone I offended so they have a need to take it out. I guess. It's weird.